‘ Dream you highest dreams for they will come true’. This is what Mrieke said after having finished a coachingtraject with me. I will share with you parts of her personal development process with her permission. Mrieke is 30 and works as a teacher in Biology. Her last coaching homework was to write a letter from out of the future to her 10 year younger self. In this letter the 40 year old Mrieke gives advice to her younger self on how to live her life best. Below you can read parts of this letter:
‘I know that you are suffering daily from the pressure of achieving something. Pressure to make the right choices and even pressure to enjoy things. I know you feel paralysed in your body, in your choices and in your work. I know you have doubts about what you are doing on a daily basis and I know that you ask yourself if you need to make a career switch.…..’
Further I would like to tell you that you dream to low. Dream your highest dreams for the will come true!
I wish you the best wishes ever,
M’rieke who is now 40 years young…
Written by Mrieke Ninaber van Eijben (Dutch, 2008). When you read Dutch you can read her poems on Nachtorchis.
You are a wonderful person to coach -Chungmei
Off course I know this, because I was you, 10 years ago.’ …….
First of all I would like to start to tell you how wise you are and what you already know and are able to do. You are terribly sweet, impatient, funny, appear energetic to everyone you know, enthusiastic and you are full with initiatives. You are extraordinarily creative and you have lots of ideas, but you don’t know how to make your ideas reality. You think you don’t have the patience and perseverance to do this, but actually you are an inspiration for many people. You feel guilty and this is a part of you. You know this feeling al your life. It is very deep rooted and it is there all the time. You feel guilty when you eat fries: that is not healthy. You feel guilty when you don’t do anything and when you are NOT cleaning the bathroom. It is funny that even ‘doing nothing’ makes you feel guilty. The whole time you feel your limitations. If you had this, if you would do that, then you can do what you really want to do. And off course this is rubbish. In fact it is about that you row with the peddles you have got. You are rowing and that is everything that matters.
Guilt and limitations are the keywords of your power. You will see what this power has got for you when you admit that these are the key words. Tell out loud that you feel guilty and speak out your guilt. Speak out loud that you feel limited and give space to these limitations. You will see that they won’t keep dominating your life and are not able to limit you. When you speak it out loud then people will come and help you. It will show you that you can perceive your limitations as challenges. And it will help you to row.’ ………
……..Be down-hearted when you feel down-hearted and feel your sadness, anger, guilt etcetera, because this is the truth. When you don’t face your feelings then you are denying yourself. Don’t expect everything from everyone else, but stand up and show your expertise! Go after what you are good at when you feel you can. Show that you can fail, but meet your challenges! Show a new initiative every day, even though you think you ‘know’ that you won’t succeed. Don’t get demotivated by others. People perceive the things differently then you do and you perceive them as they are to you. And your experience counts! Only in the last case or when it resonates with what you feel then you accept the things people say. You have already lost so much, because others knew what was best for you. Don’t let them take away your dreams.