Tell me where your pain is

Thai Roots in the Hague
Chinatown in the Hague is filled with Chinese massage salons and to be honest, I have never been to one of them. My main reason for this is my experience with Chinese massages from several family members. One uncle got me screaming for tenderness. Hahahaa…yeaaah,  his style was definitely one I will remember all my life.

In my opinion massaging brings one back to what one really feels. It helps the mind to open up and feel the deep connection with the body. Body and mind are one, but most of the time we neglect the body, because of daily obligations and expectations. Massages, when exercised in a proper way, is able to provide that little push to give in and to let go.

I needed a push, so I decided to dive into the world of Thai massages. It was overwhelming: all the different positons, techniques, the closeness, the scent, the feel of light cotton (Traditional Thai loose fitting clothing) around my body, the mumbling of Thai speaking masseurs behind the curtains and the pain. It was mystique!

After I dressed myself in cotton clothing with a little help of my masseur; a tiny but strongly build Thai lady, she asked me to lay on my belly. While I was laying she scrawled on the bed and asked me in a soft tone-of-voice: ‘Tell me where your pain is.’ Can you imagine the impact of these words? They pearsed through the pain I was feeling at the upper part of my back.

It got me thinking; about my coaching methods. Shall I start asking everyone who comes in for an introduction session: ‘Let’s skip what you thought you were coming for and tell me where your PAIN is. Skipping the ‘I am so jealous within my love relationship’, ‘I would like to be more assertive on the workfloor’, ‘Help me orientate on the job market’, ‘I would like to be more efficiënt with my time’ and so on.

The pain will come to the surface eventually. My experience is that people need to get through the mental rubbish first. We need time to get accostumed to the idea of being faced by our deepest fears and destructive emotions. At the same time we need to develop a sense of believing that we will get there, no matter what we have to go through first, we need the courage to FACE & FEEL the pain.

My partner in crime and LOVE placed a remark about my role as a coach: “You are nothing more than a GARBAGE BIN”. “Yeaaaahh, hahahaa, I know!” Well, I’m a garbage bin with an opening on the bottom. You’re SH** will be thrown into the universe and we will work on filling up the freed space with positivity , selfesteem and natural communication. In short: the YOU you are.


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