Scrap from the chapter “the perfect relationship”:
If you understand the concept of the wounded mind, you will understand the reason why romantic relationships are so difficult. The emotional body is sick. It has wounds; it has poison. If we are not aware that we are sick or that our partner is sick, we become selfish.
The wounds hurt, and we have to protect our wounds, even from the one we love. But if we have the awareness, we can have different agreements. When we are aware that our partner has emotional wounds, and we love our partner, we certainly don’t want to touch her wounds. We don’t want to push her to heal her wounds, and we don’t want her to push us to heal our wounds.
Take the risk and take the responsibility to make a new agreement with your partner -not an agreement that you read in a book, but an agreement that works for you. If it doesn’t work, change that agreement and create a new one. Use your imagination to explore new possiblities, to create new agreements based on respect and love.
Communication through respect and love is the whole key to keeping the love alive and never getting bored in your relationship. It’s about finding your voice and stating your needs. It’s about trusting yourself and trusting your partner. What you are going to share with your partner is not the garbage, but your love, your romance, your understanding. The goal is for the two of you to be happier and happier, and that calls for more and more love. If you treat your partner with love and respect, who is going to get the benefit? No one else but you.
From ‘The Mastery of Love’, written by Don Miguel Ruiz