It was during our second session. She said: ‘I have visualised this breathing session over and over again. The thoughts popped up were: I have to do my utmost best and I want to stop breathing. The second part was on repeat. It would be her first breathing session. She was afraid, dead scared. At the same time she was curious and looking forward to the experience.
I instructed her by telling she should share her fear based thoughts with me when these would pop up. Also I wanted to hear about the physical expressions inflicted by the conscious connected breathing.
She started breathing on an air mattress.
Inhaling, exhaling, inhaling and exhaling in circles. She continued and she was motivated. At first she felt a tingling sensation all over her body. Shortly after a headache came up at the left side of her head. She felt an ache on her back and a bump in her throat. She continued breathing and the headache got less while another physical expression appeared: there was a kind of a cramp in her face, she felt her mouth tightening.
A thought appeared as a reaction to her “small mouth”: she picked on it, she found it stupid that her mouth felt tiny. From here on I guided her towards releasing the emotions in relationship to the physical expressions and how she picked on her small mouth. I can’t remember the exact words, but they worked: tears rolled down her cheeks.
After the breathing session we spoke about what she felt. She was sad, but hugely relieved: now I know why I always feel I am not good enough. I don’t like myself.
I want to like myself.
Also read: Rebirthing: standing up for yourself