Lifecoaching: as a child I believed in magic

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For like 28 years I thought I only had one massive problem in my life: stuttering. I tried a try-out session with Life Coach Chungmei. It was interesting, she asked questions, I spoke, I did an exercise… And from out of nowhere, I started to cry! I was crying, and surprised and shocked that I was crying. This was really weird for me.

Luckily for me I kept myself busy with creating a burn – out. One year later I succeeded. My second coaching setting was a fact. I set down and she mirrored my non-verbal communication extremely sharp. Subconsciously I acted to be ready for any thing: arms wide, an ‘I am in control look’ in my eyes, and ask something like: so coach ask me a smart question?! Well, instead she told me: Well, you don’t seem ready to open up. After which she imitated my posture and look in my eyes. Do you want to be coached? Right away I felt that she didn’t fall for my act. I felt that one: my head down, arms normal, and after digesting a little bit of my fakeness, I said: yes I am ready.

Burn-out & learning to feel
What I did to burn my self out was only living in my head, not even feeling my own heart beat. During my third ‘succesful’ study, I burned out. I didn’t understand, and even less did I feel why. Chungmei guided me through this process. Some topics, in random order, we have worked on were:

  1. Why am I a perfectionist?
  2. Why do I train extremely hard?
  3. Why am I always busy?
  4. Why do I stutter?
  5. How come I don’t feel my body?
  6. What caused the burn out ?
  7. Why do I stop breathing when I think longer than 1 minute?

Answers were: I felt I was not good enough, so everything needed to be perfect. I felt a lot of surpressed emotions and had surpressed emotions myself which caused intense stress. My coping mechanism was using my head, and satisfying others and my main man Mr. Society.

This I understood after being lead through different exercises and questions no one ever asked me. With one single question she could make me feel my sadness of being so stressed. Or scared, or….unhappy. Because that’s the overal feeling: I was not happy, and was basically killing myself with thinking, studying and working. Without the burn – out to stop me, I was dead by now.

It may sound a bit extreme, but seriously she saved my life. Thank you for that. Thank you for letting go of everything that didn’t belong to me. For the first time in my life, I feel who I am, what I want to do. I became a better husband, a better person, a better father after being coached intensively by you. With better I mean more me, because that’s all there is right? I believe the best I can be is the closest to who I really am.

Now, that I write this I think of words that could describe the thankfulness that I feel in my heart. Being coached by you and feeling myself was my biggest gift after being born. It was a great pleasure being coached by someone so naturally connected with the Universe. Someone who coached so intuitively, so in the moment.

As a child I believed in magic, felt happiness in playing. Somewhere in high school I started to believe in the world of thoughts, studies, work and society. I am 32 now, and life is magic again.

By Arnold Baldé

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3 Tips on Finding balance after burn-out

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Getting yourself into a burn-out by working hard is common knowledge. What isn’t, is that getting yourself out of the burn-out is hard work too. A possible definition of a burn-out is that you don’t feel mentally and physically strong to go about and handle your daily life. From the moment that you admit -with ‘you’ I refer to you and your body -that you are totally exhausted, the recovery starts by taking as much rest as possible. You need to catch up your sleeping hours and feel mentally and psychically rested to start taking charge of your life again by doing things step by step. And now comes the hard part!

The signals which got you in the burn-out are still there. You wish they weren’t, but unfortunately they are. The process of recovering of a burn-out takes time. The bodily signals I am speaking of, now pop up once in a while in stead of every day. The trick is to be overly conscious about these signals. For one that’s a typical headache and for another it’s aching eyes or stomach pain. Know your psychical signals, because they tell you a lot about ‘crossing mental and physical borders of your recovery’.

3 Tips on finding balance after burn-out

Recovery takes time
1. Know that it takes time to recover: you won’t get over a burn-out after a week of catching up sleep. A reason for this is that you are still the same person with the same ‘hard working-characteristics’. After a few days of working in the same way as you used to have, including being present at your social activities, the signals could return.

Listen & act upon your signals
2. Listen carefully to your signals. When physical pains start coming back again you should listen to them and ask yourself the following question: ‘How shall I take my rest?’ By taking a powernap on the couch, sit down and close my eyes, sleep for an hour, listen to music and so on. Anything which takes you out of the ‘thinking mode’ will help you to overcome the signals.

Setting priorities
3. The following question could be: ‘How did I get myself into this position again?’ Be as honest as possible in finding the answer to this question. The answers will get you back in balance & business! What also passes by as a learning point during the recovery process is that you learn to know what you are able to handle on a daily basis. Set your priorities and keep up with them. Don’t feel like a failure if you need to reset your priorities. That’s all part of the learning curve. Admit that your ambitions were a bit too high for the time being, but as soon as you feel healthy and in balance more (different) activities will be a part of your day.

The tips above will help you to create a healthy way of life. Some people like to take upon this challenge on their own and some know they would be happy with professional guidance. Changing habits need time. Habits are driven by the mind. And if you might feel any resistance or have any questions about what you think or feel during the recovery you can contact me.