Growth is uncomfortable: psychosomatic illness surfaced during healing process

A sign! Received by an client of mine who is going through a deep and intense transformation process. Unprocessed emotions reveal themselves through the physical body. There is rash and itching all over. How I see it, is that the inner fire is awakenend. The inner fire is a mixture of anger, fear and sadness of the hurt inner child and the adult who is now aware of both the pain of the inner child ánd the adult. And this inner fire is burning through her old skin in order for the new skin to appear. A skin in which the client is able to live from out of her own “fire”, her needs and values.

That mixture of feelings would’t have shown itself via the skin if the person was in a loving connection with their emotional body. This was a psycho-somatic reaction of trauma.

We entered this phase of deep-rooted anger, fear and sadness which resulted in rash all over her body after the 22nd coaching and rebirthing session. Up until this session many physical symptoms appeared during and in between the sessions. During the sessions she had experienced trembling from crown to toes, warmth, coldness, headache, stiffness in neck and shoulders, pressure in several body parts, cramps in arms and hands, tension throughout her legs which made her move involuntary. Parallel to these physical reactions she learned to cry. At first she was so amazed by being in contact with sadness that she started laughing. Then it became a mixture of crying and laughing.

In between sessions she went through extreme tiredness, a foggy head, itchiness, headaches and at times more energy and a new kind of clarity and cheerfulness.

The client was in it for the whole game from the first session onwards. I’m referring to the openness and curiosity she had towards rebirthing and after her first session she decided upon doing a trajectory in which the emphasis would lie on processing trauma’s through breath work. During the first three sessions she felt a renewed connection with her physical body. As we continued working together, more limiting thoughts and emotions surfaced.

Let’s say, more or less during five sessions before this rash and itchiness appeared the following insights were part of the emotional development:

  • the unhealthy relationship with her parents, living up to their expectations in so many ways possible;
  • she took upon the role of the parents in relationship to her younger brother, feeling loads of responsibility in providing emotional support, because parents weren’t able to provide this;
  • consciously saying “no” to other people’s roles (in personal & professional context)in order to getting to know her role;
  • fear of change, fear of stepping out of her comfort zone;
  • letting go of being the perfect daughter;
  • realising that for years it was a huge burden that she wanted to bring in the perfect son-in-law for her parents;
  • carefully and consciously showing her emotional self in different relationships.

The red thread through these insights is that she is letting go of emotional bagage of her parents which directed her to emotionally stand on her own feet. Of discovering her true self. It opened the path to re-evaluate her norms and values in life. With realising on a mental level in what ways she took upon the emotional bagage of her parents her emotional body awakened loads of unacknowledged emotions. These are all emotions of the inner child who was not capable of acknowledging them, because of lack in support and emotional guidance of the parents.

These unacknowledged emotions showed themselves through the physical body. Ready to be embraced and processed.

Related blogs:
Rebirthing: the body will never lie
Rebirthing: standing up for yourself

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
http://www.orchidoflife.nl/home_en/

Shame: my mother is a narcissist

Recently I guided a session with a 48-year lady. She has followed my work for three years and finally decided to go for it. During this first session there was stress, sadness, laughter and shame. Especially shame, because she felt very uncomfortable talking about herself, her roots, her decision making. This was all rooted in a nasty relationship with her narcissistic mother. All this understanding from her side for her sick mother has nearly come to an end.

Nearly, because she is sick of it all, but still not completely with her mother. A big part of her is protecting her mother from blame, sadness, anger and disappointment. She doesn’t want to hurt her mother, but meanwhile she is the one who is hurt by the cruel and harsh depictions of herself by her mother and in addition her sister is standing on her mothers side. She knows that her mother always plays her cards in a way that she will suffer from it, but it’s just not who she is to say a definite “goodbye” to this relationship. So, let’s park this.

What she is facing right now is being tired of the negative hectic atmosphere at work, a husband who is burnout since last Spring and taking care of both her daughter and her husband and the household. There is a lot to reflect upon and a lot to process.

​​​​​​​For more information about narcissism take a look at the video’s of Vivian McGrath. 

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

 

Break and feel through depression

Thank you Elizabeth Gilbert for talking about Life and Love.

For this part on breaking/feeling through depression start watching at 1.01.01 until 1.06.33.

Depression is the lowest human vibration. It’s almost death. You can slip very easily into death…

You can’t control your way out of depression. You’ve got to surrender your way out of it. My advice would be: start feeling.

Start feeling:

✨ Sadness

✨ Fear

✨ Rage, lust

✨ Pride, narcissistic feelings (ego)

✨ Courage to feel powerlessness

How Elizabeth Gilbert sums up the different layers of emotions that you need to go through to break with depression is exactly what I guide with coaching & rebirthing sessions.

I have enjoyed every bit of this interview. I love her calming, loving and vibrant voice. If you are in need of refreshing perspectives on life and love I would definitely recommend you to make time to watch the entire interview. Enjoy!

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

About the 3 hour rebirthing session

There are a lot of things that get me going. One of them is today’s 3 hour rebirthing session in which a client connected to her inner child.

The child who hid her emotions for many years. The child who was raised by parents who weren’t able to give emotional guidance. The child who was frightened, sad and angry. The child who was finally able to cry passionately.

The adults body was shakened up by releasing all tension, cramps and itching by tears and trembling. After the 4th physical and emotional wave the client’s mind was clearer and eyesight was broader. Still laying on the air matress she spreaded her arms and said: I’ve grown.

It’s all about finding the calm in the chaos. That’s exactly the moment I suggest a double/ 3 hour rebirthing session. (Double, because most sessions I guide are coaching & rebirthing sessions of 1.5 hour)

The moment I invite someone for a 3 hour session is when I’ve noticed the following:

🌿 Client speaks more freely about emotional conflicts and especially mentions loyalty conflicts with parents/ family;

🌿 Client sees images of childhood memories during the breathing session;

🌿 Client is able to breath through the feeling of fear and thoughts out of fear during a breathing session;

🌿 Client experiences all types of physical symptoms in between the sessions. Emotional/energetic layers have been peelt of. For example: itching is an expression of unconsciously repressed anger;

🌿 Client opens up in written reflections by e-mail. Writing from the core pain and limiting thoughts and behaviour;

🌿 Client chose to be guided and is motivated to release him or herself from emotional burden and energetic blockages in the mind, body and soul to feel who he/she is. And the person desires to act out of love, joy and inspiration.

When the emotional chaos is at its highest calm is around the corner if you are willing to breath through it. Connect with your inner child 💚

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

#rebirthing #breathwork #healing #innerchildwork #emotionalgrowth #hsp #highlysensitiveperson #highlygifted #TheHague and beyond

Express anger to create space to feel love, compassion and inner peace

Somehow my coaching & rebirthing practice has theme weeks. This week it was all about emerging anger.

Clients were telling me stories filled with uncovered anger and I grabbed it with both hands. I laid out for them how connecting with anger in order to express it can diminish fear, even to the point that fear evaporates.

I just finished a session with a client who I guided with social panorama. This technique is based on neuro linguistic programming and similar to family constellations but with the difference that it’s only based on your emotional imaginary map and the presence of others is not needed.

This technique is very effective to create emotional change within all relationships. This week I’ve seen clients expressing their anger towards a bullying older sister, an emotional distant parent and inauthentic parent.

Expressing anger in a safe environment lowers stress levels caused by fear and creates space to feel more love, compassion and inner peace.

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life?

Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

Rebirthing: the body will never lie

It’s amazing that an introduction of only 15 minutes to the conscious connected breathing gives me more information about someone’s true health than talking for an hour. 

Last week I spoke to a young lady in her thirties. For half a year now she is working within a governmental organization. When she was a few months in she noticed an extreme tiredness. As of December last year she got familiar with high sensitivity and felt embraced by everything she read. Her first session with me took her further into her emotional journey. 

First of all, as long as she remembers, she feels different compared to others. Now, forming part of a group of trainees who are guided to embark on managerial positions within the government, she feels lonely and has the tendency to hide. Why? 

  • Because she prefers to work in the quiet rooms;
  • The canteen is too busy for her, she rather walks outside;
  • She doesn’t drink alcohol which excludes her from the weekly informal meetings;
  • Colleagues are gossiping and judging about her way of being.

In short: she finds it hard to connect and mingle while the world around her is noisy, demanding and full of expectations. 

During the coaching I shared many stories which helped her to feel affirmed in who she is. She is not strange. She is a feeling being. We will work towards embracing her high sensitivity and how she can find ways to feel more connected with her surroundings.

After our talk I guided her through 15 minutes of conscious connected breathing. By feeling the heaviness and tension in her arms during the breathing process she was moved to share one of her main life events. During a funeral at the age of 14 she wasn’t able to move her arm to eat soup. Since then she developed a fear around her arm not functioning.

This was a psycho somatic experience which wasn’t dealt with properly. At the moment she isn’t consciously feeling the underlying emotions of her arm falling out in certain situations. During our coaching & rebirthing trajectory we will also work through this trauma. 

Breath with me?

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life?

Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

I just love breakthrough sessions!

I just love breakthrough sessions!

Especially when it concerns the emotional development of someone who hasn’t been sleeping for years now due to high levels of tension in the body. In today’s session; the 27th coaching and rebirthing session, the client was finally able to continue the conscious connected breathing without any interruptions.

Client felt so fed up by how slow her healing process was coming along. After our talk about whether is better to breathe motivated by frustration and anger or love and compassion conclusion was it’s good to give room to the frustration and anger, because it will lower fear levels.

Anger is thé emotion which will help you overcome your fears. Hence client breathed with the motivation of being fed up. This was very helpful to open up the chest and get connected with the underlying tensions. Inner child of the client cried from trauma, these were healing tears. Later on the adult client cried out of hope, relieve and happiness of having reached this phase in the healing process.

Breath with me?

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life?

Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

Guided meditations via FB Live. Breathe!

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Just received a client who was present at my 1st guided meditation via FB Live. It helped him to relax after a day full of calls and meetings. He put all upcoming data in his agenda. Yeah!! I feel enormously motivated to give these guided meditations and…even continue after this May project.

This idea of giving guided meditations through FB Live popped up somewhere last year, in February 2018. During 2018 my creative workgoal was to speak about my work through FB Live. Every month I spoke about a different topic in relationship to high sensitivity.

This was my focus and hence I didn’t have the mental, emotional and physical space to take action upon this idea of giving guided meditations through fb live. Furthermore I was busy tackling my fear of driving a car.

Now I am experiencing a new kind of freedom.

🌿 I’m into 1.5 year of car driving experience and I love to drive.

🌿 I easily put myself in front of a camera to speak about my work. I’ve even spoken in English and Spanish on Intstagram TV. (it’s not perfect, but what the h***)

🌿 My coaching and rebirthing practice is going well.

🌿 Freedom because of my youngest child is growing up. He is literally stepped out of his diaper phase and is talking lots.

By processing all fear in relationship to putting myself out there I’ve learned that there is a time and space for everything we want to do. I fully agree and feel the following quote by Rumi “The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear”. In many aspects of life I’ve become quieter and I have listened to my hunches. I’ve even let them guide me. Only sometimes the fear is too big or there is a lack in time and energy to start new projects.

But when an idea comes back around and around than you simply have to bow for it and act without thinking.

And that’s what I did with regards to these guided meditations. I’ve committed myself to be present every Tuesday evening until Summer holidays. What definitely motivates me is that current clients tell me they will be there and it is so much fun to bring people together. Afterwards I will evaluate and feel what’s up next.

Breath with me?

This is the facebook page: Hooggevoeligheid en intuïtie. (high sensitivity and intuition) It’s in Dutch, but I mentioning it anyway, because I have an Italian friend who takes fitness classes in Polish even though she doesn’t understand any of it 😉

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

 

 

Depression, panic attacks and not sleeping? Breathe.

Depression. Panic attacks. Not sleeping. Some of the clients I guide struggle with these symptoms.

I’m guiding a highly sensitive lady who has been thinking she is depressed for around 10 years. Off and on she was on medication. She has a degree in clinical psychology, but at the moment working in communication. The human psyche, spirituality and healing has her interest. Especially because she wants to feel better for so long and is now discovering how sensitive she really is.

For the past 4 years she is on her path of healing and is not taking medicine. All her loved ones support her, but they are inclined to regular health care and on her lowest points they would recommend her to start medicine again. Even though she hasn’t full emotional support of her loved ones she had faith and courage to continue this path. I am impressed, because now 25 coaching & rebirthing sessions in I got to know her fears fully. They are scary, dark and heavy.

During her 25th rebirthing session she faced and connected with a severe bodily tension several times. Before connecting she was more aware of the phases she had to go through:

  1. Tension pulled back her head which straigthened her neck
  2. Yawning
  3. And finally connecting with tension which also caused physical pain

She has a very high physical pain threshold. Even though she felt pain she thought she could continue breathing in stage 3 for maybe half an hour longer. She is learning how to cut herself some slack, give in and surrender. Surrender to the pain that she has been holding onto for so long.

Emotionally she has been disconnected from this tension and pain for decades. It stems from her childhood. The only way to release the tension was to make sounds in stead of crying. Her healing process is also showing her to embrace sadness and cry longer than she was used to doing.

After her 25th rebirthing session she wrote me the following:

Client: “You don’t know half how grateful I am to you. You let me experience and feel light again on the deepest layers of my being.”

Client was/ is struggling with the following:

🌿 Fear to such an extent that the mind is always occupied and thinking

🌿 Fear to such an extent that the body is continuous living in a state of stress

🌿 Breathing on a daily basis is superficial

🌿 Not being able to sleep and not sleeping enough hours per night

While she is struggling on a daily basis the amount of willpower she has keeps her working and doing all kinds of courses in personal development. How does she do this? I am convinced it’s her willpower, faith and trust.

What the client said about trust: “These breathing sessions have given me trust that I will get better over time. I am able to sit with the dark cloud, the heaviness and I know it will pass by. Parallel to this I feel lighter, a weight has fallen off my shoulders and there is more room for positive thoughts. I am on the right path.”

Breath with me?

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

Feel the courage to act out of love

Yeah! Say that again. What I tell people during a rebirthing session:

Inhale positive energy, life energy. Inhale unconditional love, happiness and trust. Your inhalation will support, feed and connect you to your core, your soul, to feel that you may embrace all feelings. And that you deserve the life you desire.

Exhale negative energy and tension. Tension that was built up over years. Exhale anger, fear and sadness and all related emotions such as guilt, disappointment, loneliness, helplessness and even hate.

Yes, name every feeling you have, it doesn’t mean you actually hate the person or someone close to you. You disapprove of the behavior and suffer from the effect it has had or still has on your emotional body. You are in pain.

Doing the conscious connected breathing will connect you to your energetic body. The pain behind your limiting thoughts and behavior is stored in your energetic body. When the connection has been established the pain will surface in your physical body.

Then your mind will be confronted with the tension and stress in your physical body. When you feel safe enough you will be able to surrender to the sadness and other limiting emotions. When you don’t feel safe enough the body will be struggling to release the tension. That’s when I intervene with guidance. I’l help you to feel safe, to surrender.

With every tear you shed, with every scream out of anger or fear you slowly but steadily grow a healthy and loving connection with your body. Mind and body will befriend each other. The inner critic will make room for the voice which speaks out of love.

You will feel the courage to act out of love.

Breath with me?

With com-passion,

Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing