Flow: Connected to the Stream of Life

Last weekend, Sunday to be precise, we had a magical day. Our car was at the garage. That’s why we decided to go by train to a birthday party. From door to door it would be little less than two hours. At first I thought this would be crazy; travelling with two kids who would be exposed to a continuous flow of impulses with a minimum chance of both of them taking a nap. But then again, it was all a matter of our attitude towards the trip. So I decided to enjoy every step of the way.

Our first encounter took place in the train. We met a lovely bright-eyed lady, she was radiating pure love. We started talking, because of the kids. I believe kids and animals are quite often used as a stepping stone to connect with people. But soon enough the conversation changed to exchanging our food habits and our view on how to eat clean. The lady, brought up in Zimbabwe and now living in the South of England, mentioned that she craves for salads and fruit. She also bakes with buckwheat, alternative grains and coconut oil. Arnold’s food heart was especially lifted up by this meet-up, because of his vegan lifestyle.

The lady works as a painter and uses her art to support and guide disabled people. Suddenly, in a flash of pure excitement, I said to her: I have a gift for you. She answered with a blush: ‘A gift? But meeting you and your kids is to me a big gift. I brought along books which were recently self-published. She was very happy to receive a copy of the Dutch book “Ben ik boos? Dan mag dat!”. It is on how to deal with anger when you are highly sensitive. She immediately thought of her sister who works as a biographical counsellor. She would be interested in this book.

After this lovely encounter Arnold and I exchanged a few words and lots of smiles, because we felt the same. By having decided to go to this birthday party by public transport we stepped into the flow of life, of exchanging our highest selves, our ideals, simply who we are connecting with other beautiful and loving souls on a mission.

The second surprising encounter took place on our way back to The Hague. We met a very sweet Brazilian couple with their dog. Again, thoughts on food were exchanged. Arnold’s vegan mind shook hands with Brazilian BBQ and fastfood lovers. At the same time they were indeed conscious about food. This all came about because of their dog. This dog was skinny at first, he refused to eat canned animal food. He only ate when he was starved; he would stroll to his food at 3am in the morning. His health condition alarmed his bosses. They dived into the information on animal food and discovered that canned animal food would contain the worst parts of the meat. Not to mention chemicals and other non-nutritious ingredients mixed into the food.

They decided to go for healthy. Their dog gets to eat cooked vegetables and raw meat from the butcher. They admitted with a huge smile that their dog eats healthier than they do. Although, of course, this was a bit exaggerated. During the week they would focus on healthy foods and weekends were for fastfood. And all the while I was thinking: Oh my god, their dog taught them to do conscious food shopping! Fantastic.

Our last encounter took place in the bus. Our youngest is such a social guy. He puts effort in locking eyes with woman. This time he met the eyes and soul of an Indian woman. I noticed she was struck by pure love. She kept on saying what a sweet boy he was. She was travelling back home. The Netherlands has been her home for 15 years. I asked her about the Indian community in The Hague, because I love the Indian-English accent. She didn’t know, because she was a part of a diverse International community due to working for an international organisation. Then I asked her about the best Indian place to eat in The Hague. She gave the best possible and surprising answer, namely: “My home”. We shared laughs.

This Sunday turned out to be one of our favourite days in 2017. The flow we stepped into took us to Zimbabwe, England, Brazil and India. It took us to having these interesting serendipitous encounters. Actually, in my view, every encounter is a chance to share your highest self, to share your view on life, your heart, your soul. It makes the world a lot friendlier and cosier, where ever your from and where ever you reside at this moment. The encounter taking place feels like creating a home where you can laugh out loud, be curious, ask questions, receive and give. I love it.

A few days later I received an e-mail of the lady who received my book:

Lieve Chungmei,

Firstly I would like to say how much I enjoyed meeting you and your lovely family. It is through these surprise encounters that I feel so enriched and connected to the stream of Life! Your book has been such a gift to me for which I am very grateful. I am still reading and digesting it, but will give you more feedback later. I just wanted to touch in and thank you ‘voor het cadeautje’!

Veel groetjes en het allerbeste met je mooie werk!

I feel the same.

By the way, our kids did great. Even though it was an exceptional long day for them.

I live for magic, I live for love

art

Seeing a familiar face. The face of a boy who is now 10 years old. It was the reflection of a friendship. A friendship which started more than 10 years ago with the boy’s mom. Another face I hadn’t seen for almost three years. The day before she felt like watching some film recordings with her son. I appeared in one of the films. She reminded her son about me and told him my name. The next day I was teaching him capoeira. He recognized me, but didn’t know me as Iniciativa (my capoeira name). During the warming-up I saw his face, stared at him and whispered his name to myself. A few moments later I cried his name outloud. All his friends were like ‘do you know her?’ After class they were waiting at the square. We spoke. We reminisced. She said: ‘I can’t believe it. Yesterday we spoke about you and today you’re here.’

Somehow and for some reason our paths crossed again. I was really happy to see her. That feeling was still there; true friendship. 

This experience reminded me of last Sunday. I wanted to watch a film recording my sister made of our daughter’s birth. The first film I watched wasn’t the one I wanted to see. In stead I watched a foto/film compilation about my grandfather who passed away in 2009. I cried all the way through the film. Remembering and feeling the connection we had as a family when he was still physically with us. A few hours later his presence was felt again. Third time. This time it felt like he was gently pushing me to go ahead, to reach out and contact someone I have been missing for a long time.

Whenever we understand and feel love from a higher consciousness it strengthens us. Although fear is felt, we are able to reach out. 

We always have the option to choose over and over again. When something doesn’t feel right, we can choose for something or someone who makes us feel good. Recently I had a strange encounter with an optic. He checked my eyes, told me they were fine, but couldn’t explain why my left eye is weaker. He simply said that it is like that and that he couldn’t do anything about it. I changed to another optic. Several opticians checked my eyes. Why? Because the first optician gave me lenses which didn’t improve my vision. How odd! They do all these tests, but somehow he miscalculated and I had to put up with bad vision for a week.

A few weeks later a friend talked to me about having seen the optician I left before. She wanted a cheaper contact lens. He didn’t listen and tried to talk her into buying other type of lenses. Moreover he said that she could only wear two weekly lenses in stead of montly lenses. Our conclusion was that he wasn’t serving us for our best interest. That feels awful; trusting our eyes to someone who is only acting out of his best interest. It was kind of special that we could share our stories. Yes, we live in the same neighbourhood and we’re both wearing contact lenses. But what were the odds that we would have an awful encounter with the same optician in the same period of time?

We are never alone in a situation. Surrounding ourselves with the right people makes life easier and more fun. Sharing reinforces our instinct. 

This blog is about love, life and sharing. How paths cross and especially why people meet or meet again. While I was telling a friend about a synchronic experience she got goosebumps all over. Exactly on the same day something beautiful crossed her path; an unexpected conversation on a terrace with a stranger. The woman glimpsed at her. At the point of leaving the terrace her curiosity was stronger than her fear of walking up towards a stranger. It resulted in a heartwarming, open and intimate conversation. She was overwhelmed by the fact that it happened. It felt like they were supposed to meet each other.

An instant of recognition can be grabbed and changed into something more. 

These synchronic experiences are magical to me. It feels like I am lifted up towards the sky where all the stars meet. It feels like someone or something is carrying me. It feels like we are all connected to one another.

I live for magic, I live for love. 

Synchronicity: the real deal

A short while ago I thought of a particular person. A person I hadn’t seen or spoken for a long time. I was surprised by my own thought ‘how are they doing?’, referring to him and his wife. Only a week after this thought I came across this guy in the Hague city centre. It was good to see him again. While he was talking I looked at him and thought ‘he is single’, but how and why? First of all I had to tell him that I thought of him. Parallel to this he came across my business card while organizing his house and apparently thought of me!!

He mentioned our one and only insightful conversation at a lunchroom in the Hague and told me with a huge ‘happy as a kid can be’ smile ‘I have navigated an aerplane’!!! Ooohh, my gosh, I thought, three years ago he told me he was afraid to fly!!?? Something happened, something major happened.

Next subject, marriage. How are you and your wife doing? ‘Well, we got divorced (taking a second to think) like 8 months ago. Suddenly it cliqued. This was the reason why we thought of one another and why we bumped into each other. Interesting, I wonder what happened?

Since I started coaching people on love topics in 2008 different love stories found their way to my practice. It’s synchronicity, it’s magical.

True love is worth the wait

Recently I heard an amazing love story from a woman living closeby. Somehow my partner and I kept bumping up to her. She got to know us individually and later found out that we were a couple. Not long ago she walked up to the door of her flat and Arnold spotted her. I ran to the balcony and yelled her name. How are you and would you like to stop by at our place?

Keeping in mind that our talks only took place on the streets, in trams or in stores this was a very spontaneous action to get to know each other a little bit better. She stopped by for appelcake and tea. It was fun. She is a nice person. She told us about how she ended up with the man she is living with right now. When she was 12 she had a crush on him. No, she was in love with him. One glance of him would make her happy for the rest of the week. He was four years older than she was.

Twenty five years later they met each other on Hyves through a question game. (Dutch social network) She was curious after him; was he married? did he have children? or would he be single? After having answered many questions through this game he finally asked her in an indirect way if they could meet up. Over their first dinner together they could only stare at each other and both hardly had a bite of their dinner.

The little girl in her was still present when she told us that they are together for two years and exactly four months. She could never ever have dreamt that he would like her too. That he would fall for her, the guy who could make her dance on clouds with one glance. After having heard this story I knew this was one of the reasons why our walks have crossed so many times. This story had to be shared!

Synchronicity: Our paths crossed

Remember this story ‘An explosion of thoughts: acting out of Fear or Love?’ Well yesterday we were invited by a good friend to eat sushi at Shabu Shabu. After our lovely lunch we decided to take a stroll around the Hague; Prinsestraat, Noordeinde, Lange Voorhout, Denneweg, Kazernestraat, Kneuterdijk and finally we took a seat at the Lange Vijverberg.

Starting out walk in de Prinsestraat we walked up to this couple with buggy and what do you reckon? Yes, it was the couple I wrote about in the previous blog!! Our paths crossed. So soon. My wish came true. It was my chance to say ‘hi, how are you and bye’. I started tapping Arnold on his shoulder and said enthusiastically ‘There they are, there they are!!’ Before I could think ‘thoughts-fueled-by-fear’ I said ‘hello you guys’. As visualized a couple of days ago we had a little chitchat and we walked away from each other to pursuit our own ways.

With this encounter our amazing half rainy half sunny afternoon started. It was like going to a party where you see people you haven’t seen in ages. You stop, chitchat, laugh and move on.

An explosion of thoughts: acting out of Fear or Love?

The Hague is such a lovely mixture of different cultures. I love walking down the streets or sit down in café’s and hear all these exotic languages. When Amé was only a couple of months young we took her to Vapiano. As usual Vapiano was quit busy, but not as busy as during the evenings. It was an afternoon. A good time for young parents to have a pizza.

We sat down next to a couple with their daughter who already could sit and eat her pizza baby slices. Because of our daughters and especially because the daughers were a mixture of Asian and Western blood there was an immediate click. We started talking about life, living in the Hague and being a young parent. It was so much fun.

Normally I would initiate the ‘exchanging numbers moment’ and hand out my business card. Adding to this moment an invitation to meet up some other time, but I didn’t. I didn’t because I knew it wouldn’t come to meeting up. Us being a part of ‘young-parents-world’ were living it day by day and enjoying every moment of our renewed lives. Sh••t, and they were so nice. I spoke out the wish to run into them some other time.

This happened. Last monday on my birthday I run into them. I cycled back home after a swim and sauna. Cycling towards the second Chinatown entrance towards station Hollands Spoor I saw the little girl on the pavement. Instantly I recognized her. I looked up to the parents; again recognition took place.

In stead of stopping and walking up to them for a chitchat I cycled away from them, thinking…Pfff..thinking way to many thoughts; an explosion of thoughts whirled around in my head. Shall I turn around and start chitchatting? No, I’m tired of today and I wouldn’t have the time to meet up anyway. If we would exchange numbers and I would be calling months after our ‘China-town meet up’ it would defeat the purpose of getting to know each other and by the way I have enough friends!! Ok…and now it’s way too late to turn around, now I really have to look for them, so let’s forget about it and move on. Oh, my gosh, this wasn’t me, not like me at all.

At home I told my man: do you remember this couple and their baby girl whom me met months ago in Vapiano? He remembered and listened to my explosion of thoughts. He said only ‘Also in this situation you could ask yourself ‘Shall I act out of fear or love?’’ Suddenly it struck me; I could have just said ‘hi, how are you guys and bye’ and experience the moment just as it was given to me. This thought gave so much space, so much energy. If only I would have had the energy…hmmm…let’s skip the ‘if only’s’ and remember from now on this adage ‘I’m I acting out of fear or love?’ 

And about the couple; wishing to come across them again. Preferably in the Hague, sweet dear universe!!

How it feels to shine…

“Chungmei is a great coach, no doubt about it! I don’t know how she did it, nor did I see it coming but… she really turns things around, without completely turning your life over. That’s a hudge quality! This way she manages to help you change something basic in your system, but keeping the structure of your life the way it is. Helping you to get closer to your own core, instead of needing to be someone new or else… (never a good idea ;-)) For the rest she’s really nice, funny, honest, smart & sexy. (AND a mum!!!)”

Michael Driebeek van der Ven wrote the above recommendation on my Linkedin profile. 

You can only read people’s recommendations for my work when you’re in my network. Well, that’s why I thought to copy & paste it in a blog so I could share it with you. Well, Michael had me smiling BIG time while I was reading his recommendation. It felt super good to shine. It was really fun coaching him.

Today I spoke to someone who got into a depression a couple of years ago because of her love relationship. She started having talks with a psychologist, went all the way to Surinam for traditional cleansing rituals and came back to Holland much stronger. One more session with her psychologist gave her the feedback that no more sessions were needed. She had energy, felt motivated and knew exactly what she wanted. Divorced from her ex and sold her house. The self-discovery continues…Recently she went on a spontaneous trip to Thailand for meditation. She’s single and ready to take action in many areas of her life. Will it be lifecoaching with me? Who knows. We exchanged phonenumbers.

There is one thing we both knew for sure; there was a reason for meeting each other.

Also read the blog: Synchronicity runs through my practice.