My 10 Year Challenge 2009/2019

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2009/2019 ♥️ 

In 2009 I was one year into my fulltime coaching practice. During fall that year I got pregnant and @arnoldbalde got into a burnout. We were together for 2 years and after two years of mourning about my father and grandfather we found ourselves in another huge challenge. 

We took the challenge. It has been hard, but the unconditional love we feel for each other has gotten us through these years. However it’s almost unimaginable, but we did laugh a lot. We cried and laughed a lot. 

We have received two beautiful human beings in our lives. (2010 & 2016) We are surrounded by beautiful people. We are greatful. The spiritual and emotional growth continues… 

Now, from the perspective of unconditional love we have reached the highest of high. Letting go of all pain: sadness, anger and fear that was in between us. The path continues. We strive for a loving life in which we both are given the freedom to grow into the souls we are. 

I thank you @arnoldbalde for the woman I am today. From now onwards I ask for what I need to continue growing into the person I am. 

#10yearchallenge #soul #soulmates #unconditionallove ♥️

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Opening up for a love relationship

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Today I had a client in who shared: “My manager and many colleagues have noticed that I have changed drastically within a year. All good and positive. I am confident. I know what I want and I definitely know what I don’t want. Moreover, I communicate this.

Furthermore I am looking out for a new job in the same company. One with less work pressure and responsibility so I can focus on my studies. I am creating space for myself. I feel an abundance of freedom, space and happiness in myself. This also has to do with breaking up with friendships/ people who asked too much of me. Now I am focusing on the people who give me energy, who make me laugh.”

Yeah!! I am so happy for her. We have been working on balancing the male and female energy within her. All her decisions will help her to live more from her female energy. She came in with a personal love goal: opening up for a love relationship.

The sessions were focused on communicating bounderies, processing sadness, anger and fear rooted in the relationship with her parents and sister and work related issues. Now the time has finally come to focus on her initial personal goal ♥️

I am looking forward to work with her. Letting love in!

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

Receive the sound of your soul

Over the past month I’ve guided highly sensitive women to receive the sound of their soul during rebirthing sessions. It’s that “Aaah” sound pushed forward by contracting the abdominal muscles. It has been an amazing journey hearing different soul-sounds. After several tries each and everyone of them carried out their sound effortlessly. All of them struggle in their own way with their highly sensitive identity.

  • What do I feel?
  • Who am I?
  • What do I want?

These are highly sensitive woman who struggle with the following topics:

  • Knowing what your added value can be within an organization, but finding it difficult to share what you feel about workload and pressure and deadlines
  • Being burnout with severe physical symptoms and still questioning if you’re allowed to be sick
  • In love: being able to imagine the possible pain of your partner which holds you back of choosing for yourself and being heartbroken of breaking up with the person you were in love with
  • Having no place to rest and be yourself
  • Feeling responsible for someone else’s problem

What makes them struggle? It’s because they feel, think and act out of pain. Pain of their parents to which they were exposed when they were a child and pain which was caused in them. The pain is a mixture of sadness, anger and fear. It’s the pain which makes them behave like their parents expect them to behave.

Rebirthing is a simple breathing technique which connects people with their body, with their own energy. During the process they will slowly rediscover their own energy. The one which can be described as inner peace, wisdom, strength and calmness. During the first phase the attention goes out to process every emotion which covers your own energy from sparkling love and abundancy.

Guiding the sound of the soul is an intervention which I use when people experience a high level of physical tension which doesn’t find a natural way out through crying. Hearing the sound of these women was amazing and impressive. These women weren’t used to using their own voice to stand up for themselves, to choose for themselves. After having heard the sound of their soul they were in awe of the power they felt flowing through their body.

Reactions of coachees

At the beginning it was kind of strange to hear my own sound. After a couple of times I noticed how it got my body moving from within. The tension flowed away. The pressure on my belly disappeared and a warm feeling appeared.

When I think back to the session of yesterday I feel lots of sadness. Fear. I am afraid of the power within myself. Why? Why is this power not allowed to be there? I am afraid for my own voice. It does happen often over the phone that people don’t understand me. I find it hard to speak up and to speak clearer.

The session was heavy, I can’t remember if I have felt this tired at the beginning of this session compared to previous sessions. I didn’t want to say “A”. When someone else acts weird it’s fine, but it’s not something I would do. And this loud, I do not dare. And what if I can’t produce any sound? I felt stuck. Then you offered me a way out. This activated another part within me: I wanted to go through this fear. It was still scary, but hidden behind your “A” I managed to go along and produce a sound.

This session was absolutely special. Beforehand I knew I wanted to continue with the sound of my soul. It was allowed. My first try didn’t go well. My head was interfering too much. Afterwards it went better and I started to enjoy to play with the sound and follow you.

After having cried a couple of times I decided to scream it off of me. To produce the same sound as in the sessions in your practice. Anger arose, frustration and while I was producing the sound I hit hard on the bed with my fists.

A specific characteristic of the sound of the soul is the easiness with which it leaves your body. The sound keeps on coming from the belly without any effort. Easy. This level of easiness is a reflection of how you can lead your life while sharing your own voice, your opinion.

Sharing the sound of your soul will result in the following:

  • it will get the energy that is stuck in your body moving
  • it connects you with your emotional pain of your body
  • learning to cry out loud instead of crying in silence
  • getting to know your anger and learning to express anger
  • receiving the sound of your soul with love

Are you interested in getting to know the sound of your soul? Make an appointment for an introduction session. Working via videoskype is possible.

Click here for more information…

 

HSP coaching: longing for a positive change

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Photo by Hans Jongman

The one phrase which reflects my work as a life coach and rebirther for highly sensitive people is ‘I felt self-love from within’. This phrase came from a highly sensitive and creative lady who is in her thirties. After her first rebirthing session she repeatedly shared how amazed she was by what she felt in her body. Just before this amazing feeling in her belly which she described as a feeling of fullness and happiness, she felt tension flowing out of her body through her arms.

She could make a clear distinction between this feeling of self-love from within and the self-love she formerly knew as thoughts and actions directed by her head. This was way better. She felt her inner child on her chest telling her all sorts of happy things like ‘Yeah, finally!’ and ‘What shall we do after this session’. Her inner child was quite content and super happy she broke through her fear and anger.

The voice of her inner child had a counter voice which she felt at the upper right side of her head. This voice was like ‘No way, this can’t be it’ and ‘You’re not there yet’. In daily life she is held back by this critical voice, this voice was loaded by negative comments and limiting thoughts and fuelled by fear, lots of fear. She is taking decisions out of fear. One of the reason she came to me was that she had enough of this fear.

It was time for fear to get the hell out of her system, out of her head, her body, especially her head.

She is longing for a positive change. She wants to embrace her sensitivity fully. She wants to feel more energy. She wants to finally attract a life partner who fits her life and needs.

I have the exact recipe for her to follow. After years of seeing psychologists, undergoing different therapies and acting studies she has come to the point to process deep-rooted fears, anger and sadness. She has always felt different. She wasn’t heard as a child. She was criticised by a parent. The recipe is to express the pain which her body and mind have hold onto for so long.

Fear is longing to be embraced by unconditional love.
The tears of her inner child are waiting to be shed.

With this first session she has peaked through the door towards the life she desires to live. It takes a huge amount of effort, energy and courage to walk this path, but it is worth it, all the way.

Are you interested in finding out what life coaching and rebirthing can bring you, I invite you to make an appointment for an introduction session, either in my coaching practice in The Hague or via video skype. Click here to read more about the introduction session. 

When life gives you lemons…

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I love this phrase. This phrase contains sadness and happiness. It directs the reader to make something fun out of something sad. In some strange way this phrase led me to some of the rebirthing sessions I’ve guided this week via video skype.

While this lady over fifty was crying her heart out over not even feeling she has a choice in different situations, she suddenly burst into laughter. Laughter changed into crying again. I was looking at my screen, a bit in doubt, because I wondered if she was laughing or crying. She cleared my doubt by sharing she was laughing. I commented that laughter heals, she totally agreed. I forgot to ask why she started laughing in the first place.

Another lady in her thirties started and finished the session off with laughter. In between she cried her heart and eyes out. She was able to direct her anger towards her parents in stead of down talking herself over and over again. She let out this destructive energy by stamping her feet, throwing her arms around, screaming the hell out of her and jumping up and down.

And this mixture of laughing and crying showed me these ladies were making lemonade. It shows a huge strength when you’re able to laugh when you’re feeling completely miserable.

The lemons given to the highly sensitive people I guide are diverse:

  • Being brought up by parents who are not able to communicate about emotions,
  • Being fired away as a kid by an angry and dominant parent,
  • Too be sensitive is to be weird, dreamy, a crybaby, shy, fearful, anti-social in the eyes of others,
  • Because of childhood trauma’s still living out of fear, anger, sadness, shame and guilt as an adult,
  • Growing up in an environment in which natural born talents were not seen nor stimulated,
  • Living up to parent’s expectations in stead of discovering your own path in life.

It’s up to you to make lemonade out of these lemons. It’s not easy, but it is sure doable. And you will finally fully enjoy your home-made lemonade!

Choosing to emotionally develop takes you to different surprising tastes of lemonade:

  • Embracing your highly sensitive self; yes, you are spontaneous, yes you are quirky, yes you are dreamy, yes you are a “mind & heart”-reader, yes you are attentive to the needs of others, yes you are creative, yes you are … (fill in the blanks yourself),
  • Attracting jobs, relationship(s) and friends which and who resonate with your soul,
  • Feeling safe, loved and appreciated on a daily basis; from self-love comes greatness,
  • More physical and mental energy to do the things you like,
  • Able to choose easily for the situations in which you will thrive and easily turning down the proposals which will drain your energy level,
  • Living your own path and feeling natural self-confident about the steps you take.

If you’re interested in finding out what life coaching and rebirthing can bring you, I invite you to make an appointment for an introduction session, either in my coaching practice in The Hague or via video skype. Click here to read more about the introduction session. 

Rebirthing: standing up for yourself

Theme of the week: burnout, highly sensitive woman and men getting to know their emotional bounderies and opening up for sadness and anger. Their emotional roller coaster takes them to a much stronger position in which they feel confident to stand up for themselves. Standing up for yourself is key to maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

The highly sensitive people I speak all work hard and have a strong wish to pick themselves up quickly after a breakdown. They are stressed out and would like to see it as a breakdown, but instead they have to acknowledge it’s a burnout. It’s hard to accept how lost and to the bone tired one feels while recovering from a burnout. They feel mentally, physically and emotionally weak and vulnerable.

People recovering from a burnout walk around being haunted by feelings of disappointment, sadness, anger and guilt. They feel disappointed by their former employers, colleagues and often family and friends who don’t seem to understand their situation. During sessions we speak about the hurt, but mostly I guide them through their pain. Rebirthing, conscious connected breathing, is effective breath-therapy to release all these heavy weighing emotions.

Another aspect of people recovering from burnout is the weakened body. When you don’t know how to release these heavy weighing emotions, these emotions will weaken the body. You can find yourself being tortured by headaches, aching limbs, a slow or fast digestive system, hyperventilation or panic attacks. Rebirthing is the answer to heal the mental, physical, emotional and energetic body.

When I have people laying on an air-matress in my coachingpractice I guide them to open up for the “language” of their body. While doing the conscious connected breathing the body starts to “speak” by physical expressions such as coldness in limbs, tingling over the whole body, itching, cramps, pain in the belly, pressure on the chest and so on. At the height of physical discomfort I guide them to release pain. Sometimes the coachee/ rebirthee is able to release their sadness by themselves, but at other times guidance is necessary, because they simply don’t feel access to releasing the pain.

This week the focus was on guiding them to scream the hell out of them. Imagine these people, they are not used to standing up for themselves, let alone screaming the negative energy out of their system. It was amazing to hear them scream. My screaming helped them to get to know their primal scream. The scream which can stop negative energy in the form of accusations and anger coming your way making you feel guilty and lonely.

Are you interested in an introduction session? Book your introduction session here! 

Read more on rebirthing
Rebirthing: listen to your body
Rebirthing: breathing through despair
Rebirthing: release yourself from cold energy

 

 

Rebirthing: listen to your body

How often do we neglect physical pains and discomforts? Such as a twitching eyelid, headache, stomach pain, cold shoulder, restless leg and so on. Your body wants to be heard and has a story to tell. Stories on what you feel, of emotions which want to be released: sadness, anger, fear and guilt. Start listening, start breathing.

Today a highly sensitive man came in for his 11th rebirthing session. He was in total despair. The last couple of days he was at home after a difficult conversation with his supervisors. He wasn’t able to stand up for himself even though he knows his workload is too much for him. As a result of this meeting he had a headache above walking around with physical complaints such as obstipation and a twitching eyelid. 

For the past years he dealt with the workload and he was quite successful. It was exactly what he wanted. The past months his emotional development took him into a phase in which he needed to stand up for himself. He needed to stand up against his parents. The reason why he took up the workload was a deep desire to be seen, to be acknowledged for his presence, his abilities and knowledge. He had missed this during his upbringing. His parents had to deal with their own problems. They didn’t have the emotional space and consciousness to guide him. 

Emotional development takes a person to his or her own core, the place filled with joy, peace and self love. By continuously emptying this place of sadness, anger, fear, guilt and hate, one makes space for unconditional self love. This is not arrogant nor selfish, it’s essential to maintain emotional health and to start and maintain healthy relationships. 

During a rebirthing session of two hours I have seen this man change from a dead scared man unable to hold his position in conversation with pears to a man who communicated from a confident and strong place. He shared his professional successes and felt proud. He finally felt he was a good, hardworking and reliable human being and employee. Before he was never satisfied and was searching for more appreciation by doing much more than he could handle. He was able to continue this race for a long time steered by his head, his ratio. Hereby totally neglecting his body. 

The past months has changed his attitude in life in a positive way. He is on the verge of living out of love instead of fear. Soon he will make an appointment with his peers to discuss his position.

Two days after having posted this blog I received the following comment of the man I wrote about in this blog:

Thank you Chungmei. It was an amazing journey that I took together with you. Your power, sensing and serenity was inspiring me. And you know what happened after Wednesday: last week I succeeded to stand up for myself. The feedback that I received from my supervisors and colleagues was fantastic.

So I gave myself a big gift. When I came home, all the pain, fear and anger left my body while I was doing the conscious connected breathing. It was enormous intense, painful to feel all the emotions. But this was replaced by good feelings like: proudness, confidence, giving myself (inner) space, and realising what good qualities I have and being able to show these.

A turning point which was already going on, but I didn’t expect that these changes would go so fast. The energy is not there yet, but it is going up and I am doing it step by step. Unbelievable, I was struggling for so many years, but these sessions really helped me a lot!!

As we said a few weeks ago: I’m going to kick some ass and will shine. I’m going to fill this circle with a lot of love and positive energy. Namaste Chungmei.

So what about you? Are you walking around with physical discomforts? Are you in need of positive change? Feel free to contact me to schedule an appointment!

Click here for more information on the introduction session.