Growth is uncomfortable: psychosomatic illness surfaced during healing process

A sign! Received by an client of mine who is going through a deep and intense transformation process. Unprocessed emotions reveal themselves through the physical body. There is rash and itching all over. How I see it, is that the inner fire is awakenend. The inner fire is a mixture of anger, fear and sadness of the hurt inner child and the adult who is now aware of both the pain of the inner child ánd the adult. And this inner fire is burning through her old skin in order for the new skin to appear. A skin in which the client is able to live from out of her own “fire”, her needs and values.

That mixture of feelings would’t have shown itself via the skin if the person was in a loving connection with their emotional body. This was a psycho-somatic reaction of trauma.

We entered this phase of deep-rooted anger, fear and sadness which resulted in rash all over her body after the 22nd coaching and rebirthing session. Up until this session many physical symptoms appeared during and in between the sessions. During the sessions she had experienced trembling from crown to toes, warmth, coldness, headache, stiffness in neck and shoulders, pressure in several body parts, cramps in arms and hands, tension throughout her legs which made her move involuntary. Parallel to these physical reactions she learned to cry. At first she was so amazed by being in contact with sadness that she started laughing. Then it became a mixture of crying and laughing.

In between sessions she went through extreme tiredness, a foggy head, itchiness, headaches and at times more energy and a new kind of clarity and cheerfulness.

The client was in it for the whole game from the first session onwards. I’m referring to the openness and curiosity she had towards rebirthing and after her first session she decided upon doing a trajectory in which the emphasis would lie on processing trauma’s through breath work. During the first three sessions she felt a renewed connection with her physical body. As we continued working together, more limiting thoughts and emotions surfaced.

Let’s say, more or less during five sessions before this rash and itchiness appeared the following insights were part of the emotional development:

  • the unhealthy relationship with her parents, living up to their expectations in so many ways possible;
  • she took upon the role of the parents in relationship to her younger brother, feeling loads of responsibility in providing emotional support, because parents weren’t able to provide this;
  • consciously saying “no” to other people’s roles (in personal & professional context)in order to getting to know her role;
  • fear of change, fear of stepping out of her comfort zone;
  • letting go of being the perfect daughter;
  • realising that for years it was a huge burden that she wanted to bring in the perfect son-in-law for her parents;
  • carefully and consciously showing her emotional self in different relationships.

The red thread through these insights is that she is letting go of emotional bagage of her parents which directed her to emotionally stand on her own feet. Of discovering her true self. It opened the path to re-evaluate her norms and values in life. With realising on a mental level in what ways she took upon the emotional bagage of her parents her emotional body awakened loads of unacknowledged emotions. These are all emotions of the inner child who was not capable of acknowledging them, because of lack in support and emotional guidance of the parents.

These unacknowledged emotions showed themselves through the physical body. Ready to be embraced and processed.

Related blogs:
Rebirthing: the body will never lie
Rebirthing: standing up for yourself

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
http://www.orchidoflife.nl/home_en/

Shame: my mother is a narcissist

Recently I guided a session with a 48-year lady. She has followed my work for three years and finally decided to go for it. During this first session there was stress, sadness, laughter and shame. Especially shame, because she felt very uncomfortable talking about herself, her roots, her decision making. This was all rooted in a nasty relationship with her narcissistic mother. All this understanding from her side for her sick mother has nearly come to an end.

Nearly, because she is sick of it all, but still not completely with her mother. A big part of her is protecting her mother from blame, sadness, anger and disappointment. She doesn’t want to hurt her mother, but meanwhile she is the one who is hurt by the cruel and harsh depictions of herself by her mother and in addition her sister is standing on her mothers side. She knows that her mother always plays her cards in a way that she will suffer from it, but it’s just not who she is to say a definite “goodbye” to this relationship. So, let’s park this.

What she is facing right now is being tired of the negative hectic atmosphere at work, a husband who is burnout since last Spring and taking care of both her daughter and her husband and the household. There is a lot to reflect upon and a lot to process.

​​​​​​​For more information about narcissism take a look at the video’s of Vivian McGrath. 

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

 

HSP: listen to the stories of colours

The result of what I painted yesterday during a workshop on “Painting as a pedagogic model in Waldorf education”. I refused to do the assignment as it was presented.

The assignment was to use the three primary colours blue, yellow and red to cover the whole sheet of paper. Afterwards we were supposed to turn these colours into new colours by painting another colour on top of it.

I wanted to keep the red and used a bit of yellow to create a kind of orange in the core of red. The teacher used my painting to explain that this deep strong type of red is an expression of anger. (Anger of Mozes, is how he put it, an example used based on the religious stories told to the children)

He also pointed out how I used blue to enhance the red. Why I behaved as I did was because I wanted to listen to what came out of my brush, my soul.

As he told earlier: painting as educated in Waldorf education is to let the colours speak to your soul. Through the colours the soul is able to express itself. What I truly loved was how connected I felt. I didn’t hear the chitchats around me.

For more photo’s on this subject see my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/orchidoflife/

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

Break and feel through depression

Thank you Elizabeth Gilbert for talking about Life and Love.

For this part on breaking/feeling through depression start watching at 1.01.01 until 1.06.33.

Depression is the lowest human vibration. It’s almost death. You can slip very easily into death…

You can’t control your way out of depression. You’ve got to surrender your way out of it. My advice would be: start feeling.

Start feeling:

✨ Sadness

✨ Fear

✨ Rage, lust

✨ Pride, narcissistic feelings (ego)

✨ Courage to feel powerlessness

How Elizabeth Gilbert sums up the different layers of emotions that you need to go through to break with depression is exactly what I guide with coaching & rebirthing sessions.

I have enjoyed every bit of this interview. I love her calming, loving and vibrant voice. If you are in need of refreshing perspectives on life and love I would definitely recommend you to make time to watch the entire interview. Enjoy!

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

Express anger to create space to feel love, compassion and inner peace

Somehow my coaching & rebirthing practice has theme weeks. This week it was all about emerging anger.

Clients were telling me stories filled with uncovered anger and I grabbed it with both hands. I laid out for them how connecting with anger in order to express it can diminish fear, even to the point that fear evaporates.

I just finished a session with a client who I guided with social panorama. This technique is based on neuro linguistic programming and similar to family constellations but with the difference that it’s only based on your emotional imaginary map and the presence of others is not needed.

This technique is very effective to create emotional change within all relationships. This week I’ve seen clients expressing their anger towards a bullying older sister, an emotional distant parent and inauthentic parent.

Expressing anger in a safe environment lowers stress levels caused by fear and creates space to feel more love, compassion and inner peace.

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life?

Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

I just love breakthrough sessions!

I just love breakthrough sessions!

Especially when it concerns the emotional development of someone who hasn’t been sleeping for years now due to high levels of tension in the body. In today’s session; the 27th coaching and rebirthing session, the client was finally able to continue the conscious connected breathing without any interruptions.

Client felt so fed up by how slow her healing process was coming along. After our talk about whether is better to breathe motivated by frustration and anger or love and compassion conclusion was it’s good to give room to the frustration and anger, because it will lower fear levels.

Anger is thé emotion which will help you overcome your fears. Hence client breathed with the motivation of being fed up. This was very helpful to open up the chest and get connected with the underlying tensions. Inner child of the client cried from trauma, these were healing tears. Later on the adult client cried out of hope, relieve and happiness of having reached this phase in the healing process.

Breath with me?

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life?

Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

Feel the courage to act out of love

Yeah! Say that again. What I tell people during a rebirthing session:

Inhale positive energy, life energy. Inhale unconditional love, happiness and trust. Your inhalation will support, feed and connect you to your core, your soul, to feel that you may embrace all feelings. And that you deserve the life you desire.

Exhale negative energy and tension. Tension that was built up over years. Exhale anger, fear and sadness and all related emotions such as guilt, disappointment, loneliness, helplessness and even hate.

Yes, name every feeling you have, it doesn’t mean you actually hate the person or someone close to you. You disapprove of the behavior and suffer from the effect it has had or still has on your emotional body. You are in pain.

Doing the conscious connected breathing will connect you to your energetic body. The pain behind your limiting thoughts and behavior is stored in your energetic body. When the connection has been established the pain will surface in your physical body.

Then your mind will be confronted with the tension and stress in your physical body. When you feel safe enough you will be able to surrender to the sadness and other limiting emotions. When you don’t feel safe enough the body will be struggling to release the tension. That’s when I intervene with guidance. I’l help you to feel safe, to surrender.

With every tear you shed, with every scream out of anger or fear you slowly but steadily grow a healthy and loving connection with your body. Mind and body will befriend each other. The inner critic will make room for the voice which speaks out of love.

You will feel the courage to act out of love.

Breath with me?

With com-passion,

Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

My 10 Year Challenge 2009/2019

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2009/2019 ♥️ 

In 2009 I was one year into my fulltime coaching practice. During fall that year I got pregnant and @arnoldbalde got into a burnout. We were together for 2 years and after two years of mourning about my father and grandfather we found ourselves in another huge challenge. 

We took the challenge. It has been hard, but the unconditional love we feel for each other has gotten us through these years. However it’s almost unimaginable, but we did laugh a lot. We cried and laughed a lot. 

We have received two beautiful human beings in our lives. (2010 & 2016) We are surrounded by beautiful people. We are greatful. The spiritual and emotional growth continues… 

Now, from the perspective of unconditional love we have reached the highest of high. Letting go of all pain: sadness, anger and fear that was in between us. The path continues. We strive for a loving life in which we both are given the freedom to grow into the souls we are. 

I thank you @arnoldbalde for the woman I am today. From now onwards I ask for what I need to continue growing into the person I am. 

#10yearchallenge #soul #soulmates #unconditionallove ♥️

Opening up for a love relationship

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Today I had a client in who shared: “My manager and many colleagues have noticed that I have changed drastically within a year. All good and positive. I am confident. I know what I want and I definitely know what I don’t want. Moreover, I communicate this.

Furthermore I am looking out for a new job in the same company. One with less work pressure and responsibility so I can focus on my studies. I am creating space for myself. I feel an abundance of freedom, space and happiness in myself. This also has to do with breaking up with friendships/ people who asked too much of me. Now I am focusing on the people who give me energy, who make me laugh.”

Yeah!! I am so happy for her. We have been working on balancing the male and female energy within her. All her decisions will help her to live more from her female energy. She came in with a personal love goal: opening up for a love relationship.

The sessions were focused on communicating bounderies, processing sadness, anger and fear rooted in the relationship with her parents and sister and work related issues. Now the time has finally come to focus on her initial personal goal ♥️

I am looking forward to work with her. Letting love in!

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

If I know what love is it is because of you

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“This is the man I would do anything for: move to a deserted place, quit my job and start a new job and most of all express my love for him and don’t make him do anything he isn’t ready for.” ~ shared by a client of mine.

She asked for my guidance because she wants to embrace love relationships. She has been single for years. Every now and then she goes on a date via Tinder, but these first encounters are more tiring then uplifting to her. She wants to have a relationship with someone who can deal with his emotions, who asks about her life, who listens, who takes, even the heavier storms in life, lightly. Someone who has been positively shaped by his experiences. While she wanted all these she also had to acknowledge her own fears and they way she was holding back during these encounters. She wanted to move forward, show herself more, her real self.

She was definitely ready for a huge positive change. 

Our first meeting was a coaching session and during our second meeting I guided her through her first rebirthing session. At first she was sceptic. “How does this work? I feel happy and I am content with my working and social life. How will rebirthing sessions open me up for love relationships?”

Rebirthing sessions or conscious connected breathing sessions will help you process hidden fear, anger and sadness in the physical and energetic body in order to clear the mind from limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are fed by these destructive emotions. You will process and go through these emotions via movements of the body, showing emotions and letting your voice be heard. With every breathing session you will notice small (and bigger and bigger) changes in your body, mind and soul. The limiting beliefs and physical aches are being replaced by loving positive beliefs about yourself and the world.

After her first rebirthing session she enthusiastically told me that lots of men noticed her and gave her attention. Something within her had shifted and this was the first change she had experienced towards opening herself up for a love relationship. Fantastic!

And there was something about her which made me think of other clients I guide. Every time I have multiple experiences of people sharing the same thoughts, feelings and experiences I feel a strong urge to share it with you, dear reader.

This time I would like to describe a type of client who come to me for guidance:

  • Believing strongly in that everything is temporary which makes throwing away things easy and getting rid of old photos
  • Believing in that everything has a reason
  • Knowing that you can only love with all your heart receiving every person who is related to the man or woman you love with open arms
  • Strongwilled and strong opinions and views on life to live by
  • Thinking limits the whole spectrum of feeling and acting upon what you feel
  • Accepting and/or dealing with loved ones who have strong negative energy

Get to know my work & book your session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and beyond