Coaching: working on a positive attitude

My experience with coachees is that most people do have some kind of idea about what they want in life, but they don’t know how to get there.

1. Finetuning personal goals
During the first session we talk about these ideas on work, love relationship and other wishes regarding their personal development. Like I said, most people have some kind of idea about what they want in life, but when they find themselves talking to a coach they actually finetune what they want. For example: I want a job which will match my studies, knowledge and job experience. We can finetune this goal into: I want a job in which I can mainly work with people away from the desk. I am a real people person. We can then add this to the previous goal and we get a much clearer idea of where we should head to.

2.  Identity coaching: who are you? 
After having set out the personal goals of the coaching traject we really start talking about how you can get there. To get there you need yourself! What do I mean by this? You need to know what your skills are, what you are capable of doing, what your strong and weak points are and how you can put your skills out there to get what you want. Most of the time I come in (into your life) as a coach to broaden and deepen your view on yourself as a person and on life. There are different coaching ways to get out there what you’re good at.

3. Changing mood: get positive and focused
Further down the road: there is no need to talk any further about what you want in life if you’re mentally not ready to think about those stuff. So first of all, I will get you through your world of limiting beliefs. When thinking back on a session I believe the most important thing in which I succeeded during this session was changing the mood of the coachee. At start the coachee was really sad; eyes were hanging, radiation a bit greyish and tone-of-voice was empty. After around 15 minutes I started provoking. From that moment onwards the coachee’s mood became more and more positive; laughing, stronger non-verbal communication, more strength in tone-of-voice and even joking around.

And when you feel in the mood again we get back on the tracks you have chosen to be.

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Training ‘A Fun Filled Life’

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The 4th of November I gave a training with the theme ‘A Fun Filled Life’. It was soooo much fun to present this training to an audience of 25 heads. Especially because the training consisted of several surprising and confronting parts and exercises! How come I know this? Because while I was contemplating on what I would put in the training I shared some of my ideas with my partner. Many times he was like: “So, what would you like to achieve with this exercise?” and “Are you sure about presenting this?” Yes, he was trying to understand me. Even though he questioned me I felt he trusted my abilities as a coach/trainer. Finally, he decided to leave me playing around: “We will see how they will react!”

To answer his questions: what I wanted to achieve with the exercises is what I had discussed earlier with the client. They recently had been through a reorganisation and there was one coming up. The atmosphere on the workfloor was a negative one. Employees were gossiping away, working on the projects they needed to do in stead of doing more than they were asked to do. The client wanted me to spark the fire to create an attitude which would reflect teamwork, switching from a negative point-of-view to a positive one with many possibilities.

Like my partner, I was really eager to see their reactions and if they would be willing to play along. The result was that like 95% of the participants were easily motivated to stand up and move, share their views and work on the exercises. The group consisted of a wide range of positions held in the company, such as advisors, secretaries, controllers and a director.

Three weeks later I had a feedback session with the client.  I received some great feedback. One thing which was definitely mind blowing to me was that I worked time orientated. The feedback was to let go of the time frame towards the participants and keep it 100% to myself.

Get an impression of the training: click here. 

Contact me, if you would like to hire me as a trainer: orchidoflife@gmail.com, mobile phonenumber; +31642804038
Lifecoach for Orchid of Life

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Being aware of your own behaviour

flowers

Lifecoaching takes you to a level of awareness which will have a positive outcome within all of your relationships, either personal or business.

One of my coachees came to the following conclusion about her own behaviour:

“Another awareness of how I respond to people: my attitude towards people and potential friendships isn’t good. I have a tendancy to blame and critisice. Sometimes I find it difficult to let go. Letting go and moving on, without carrying emotional toxic baggage.”

During coachingsessions many people come to realize how they behave in different situations, because of the questions I ask. What I also do as a coach is to get people thinking about the connections between the different situations. After a while they come to a common demonitator which is the start of the changing process.

The common demonitator I refer to are the limiting thoughts which are so deeply hidden away in one’s mind that it takes some time to dig it up. I see coachees struggle to find out what is really irritating them or holding them back to take any kind of positive action.

Examples of limiting thoughts are:
‘I am not good enough’
‘I don’t deserve to be well-treated’
‘All men are cows’
‘I am not getting the respect I deserve’
‘I am not competent’

And there are many more possibilities of limiting thoughts. When you read through them I believe you can imagine what a relieve one’s able to feel after having worked on these thoughts. And there is something you should be aware of before starting coaching. Many times people come into my practice and tell me they want to work on for example ‘effective communication with colleagues’, ‘personal efficiency’, ‘being able to give presentations at work in a relaxed way’ or ‘feeling comfortable and at ease within love relationship (jealousy)’. After some coaching during the first session or the following sessions the ‘real’ deeper hidden causes pop up and we start to work with the related thoughts and feelings. So lifecoaching/being coached by me is not only about practically reaching your goals, as in taking actions. But also working on everything regarding the mind and heart to finally integrate new behaviour for long-term effects.

If you have any questions, get in touch with me!

Living the Life of your Dreams

One of my coachees recently told me that she had a light -bulb moment in the car on her way to our coachingsession. The thought that she could live the life of her dreams and that she can do the things she likes in life popped up in her mind. Only telling me about this light -bulb moment brought tears to her eyes. Tears of happiness. She got to the point where she values herself in such a way that she can allow herself to live the life of her dreams. Beautiful!

www.jofabi.nl -animal photography

http://www.jofabi.nl -animal photography

Here comes 10 Tips to build the life of your dreams

1. There could be a voice inside you telling you, you won’t succeed. Listen to this voice. This voice might want to protect you from failing, from falling, is disappointend, maybe angry, but the voice has a positive intention. Ask the voice what his positive intention is. Make this voice your best friend!

2. Ask yourself each day, what did I learn, how did I make a difference for someone else today?

3. Establish a set of disciplines that will give you the self-esteem and energy to act on your ideas. These disciplines can be in the area of self-care i.e. exercising, sleeping and eating habits, to communication and relationships, to how you spend your spare time, to what you think about.

4. Quite literally engage life… absorb everything, be curious, seize each day, notice and respond to everything that happens. This is where your ideas, future projects and your personal opinions and philosophy come from.

5. Be open to everything which crosses your path. Accept feedback. Learn from it.

6. Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on anything else; read, listen to tapes, journal, have meaningful conversations, never stop learning.

7. Bring something extra to everything you do, whether it is bringing a positive attitude to your job, giving a little extra on a project, or going out of your way for someone else.

8. Lastly live a synchronic lifestyle. Have a vision and vision and a higher goal which resonates through your vision and mission. A goal in which you contribute to people’s and world’s health. Determine what you want, ask for it, and trust that you will get what you need. Stand back and watch what happens … it’s always interesting!