If I know what love is it is because of you

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“This is the man I would do anything for: move to a deserted place, quit my job and start a new job and most of all express my love for him and don’t make him do anything he isn’t ready for.” ~ shared by a client of mine.

She asked for my guidance because she wants to embrace love relationships. She has been single for years. Every now and then she goes on a date via Tinder, but these first encounters are more tiring then uplifting to her. She wants to have a relationship with someone who can deal with his emotions, who asks about her life, who listens, who takes, even the heavier storms in life, lightly. Someone who has been positively shaped by his experiences. While she wanted all these she also had to acknowledge her own fears and they way she was holding back during these encounters. She wanted to move forward, show herself more, her real self.

She was definitely ready for a huge positive change. 

Our first meeting was a coaching session and during our second meeting I guided her through her first rebirthing session. At first she was sceptic. “How does this work? I feel happy and I am content with my working and social life. How will rebirthing sessions open me up for love relationships?”

Rebirthing sessions or conscious connected breathing sessions will help you process hidden fear, anger and sadness in the physical and energetic body in order to clear the mind from limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are fed by these destructive emotions. You will process and go through these emotions via movements of the body, showing emotions and letting your voice be heard. With every breathing session you will notice small (and bigger and bigger) changes in your body, mind and soul. The limiting beliefs and physical aches are being replaced by loving positive beliefs about yourself and the world.

After her first rebirthing session she enthusiastically told me that lots of men noticed her and gave her attention. Something within her had shifted and this was the first change she had experienced towards opening herself up for a love relationship. Fantastic!

And there was something about her which made me think of other clients I guide. Every time I have multiple experiences of people sharing the same thoughts, feelings and experiences I feel a strong urge to share it with you, dear reader.

This time I would like to describe a type of client who come to me for guidance:

  • Believing strongly in that everything is temporary which makes throwing away things easy and getting rid of old photos
  • Believing in that everything has a reason
  • Knowing that you can only love with all your heart receiving every person who is related to the man or woman you love with open arms
  • Strongwilled and strong opinions and views on life to live by
  • Thinking limits the whole spectrum of feeling and acting upon what you feel
  • Accepting and/or dealing with loved ones who have strong negative energy

Get to know my work & book your session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and beyond 

I feel anxious and impatient about the house search

I am guiding highly talented people. They are highly sensitive and are in the process of fully embracing their sensitivity. It’s a shame most of them have a hard time acknowledging their talents. I am happy to help out guiding their emotional development. This week there was one lady in particular who experienced a major breakthrough during a coaching and rebirthing session.

Picture this: she is sitting on the couch and telling me they have to move again. It will be their third time in The Hague. She and her husband are expats. She didn’t smile, her facial expression was quite neutral. Since the previous weekend they started their house search together. After the weekend she continued the house search and set aside her own things: applying for jobs, an online course and being kind to herself as part of her path towards living from her talents. She didn’t look happy with her change of focus, but reassured me she was calm and positive towards finding a new home. I listened, took it in, but didn’t believe her.

When one is trapped in limiting beliefs and behaviour at some point you will feel trapped.

Instead of asking any further I invited her to lay down on the air mattress. Start breathing, start aligning with your body and soul. Start awakening your emotional body, because it will tell the truth.

When she was like 15 minutes in the conscious connected breathing she felt a huge pressure on her chest. It felt like an elephant stamping on her chest, she felt anxiety. She started sharing: I feel anxious and impatient about the house search. My husband is working full time and because of this I feel I need to do more, I feel like a 90% responsible whereas this could be a lot less if I would share more of my thoughts and feelings with my husband. It’s me, he is really nice and thoughtful and tells me to focus on my own things.

But I feel selfish if I would do so, focusing on my own things.

I stimulated her to pick up the conscious connected breathing. After 15 more minutes she felt lots of tension in her arms and hands. It hurt her. She asked if she could stop. Of course. And then, while feeling her body it sank in: that voice in her head, it’s not her own, it’s her mother’s voice telling her she is selfish. (and even more: that she needs a lot of attention, that she makes problems out of nothing, she is difficult)

From the moment she realised this, the tension slowly, but steadily left her arms and hands. She felt so relieved.

The coaching and rebirthing sessions I guide are both emotionally intense; it provided the space to process deep-rooted pain, and practical. This lady left the session with homework: involving her husband more in her world of thoughts and feelings regarding the house search, a good talk would do the work so she could focus and enjoy her own work again.

If you’re interested in an introduction session, click here for more information and to make an appointment. 

Coaching: working on a positive attitude

My experience with coachees is that most people do have some kind of idea about what they want in life, but they don’t know how to get there.

1. Finetuning personal goals
During the first session we talk about these ideas on work, love relationship and other wishes regarding their personal development. Like I said, most people have some kind of idea about what they want in life, but when they find themselves talking to a coach they actually finetune what they want. For example: I want a job which will match my studies, knowledge and job experience. We can finetune this goal into: I want a job in which I can mainly work with people away from the desk. I am a real people person. We can then add this to the previous goal and we get a much clearer idea of where we should head to.

2.  Identity coaching: who are you? 
After having set out the personal goals of the coaching traject we really start talking about how you can get there. To get there you need yourself! What do I mean by this? You need to know what your skills are, what you are capable of doing, what your strong and weak points are and how you can put your skills out there to get what you want. Most of the time I come in (into your life) as a coach to broaden and deepen your view on yourself as a person and on life. There are different coaching ways to get out there what you’re good at.

3. Changing mood: get positive and focused
Further down the road: there is no need to talk any further about what you want in life if you’re mentally not ready to think about those stuff. So first of all, I will get you through your world of limiting beliefs. When thinking back on a session I believe the most important thing in which I succeeded during this session was changing the mood of the coachee. At start the coachee was really sad; eyes were hanging, radiation a bit greyish and tone-of-voice was empty. After around 15 minutes I started provoking. From that moment onwards the coachee’s mood became more and more positive; laughing, stronger non-verbal communication, more strength in tone-of-voice and even joking around.

And when you feel in the mood again we get back on the tracks you have chosen to be.