Achieve your goals with coaching via video calling

“Helping you grow into the person You want to be”

Would you like to speak to a coach while you’re comfortably at home? Well, than book your session with Chungmei from Orchid of Life – HSP Coaching & Rebirthing.

Currently I am using videoskype, FaceTime and Zoom, but I am open to use other types of video calling if you have an other preference.

More on coaching with Orchid of Life, read the following blogs:

What will be your investment? Please visit my website 🙂

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Lifecoaching: as a child I believed in magic

play capoeira

For like 28 years I thought I only had one massive problem in my life: stuttering. I tried a try-out session with Life Coach Chungmei. It was interesting, she asked questions, I spoke, I did an exercise… And from out of nowhere, I started to cry! I was crying, and surprised and shocked that I was crying. This was really weird for me.

Luckily for me I kept myself busy with creating a burn – out. One year later I succeeded. My second coaching setting was a fact. I set down and she mirrored my non-verbal communication extremely sharp. Subconsciously I acted to be ready for any thing: arms wide, an ‘I am in control look’ in my eyes, and ask something like: so coach ask me a smart question?! Well, instead she told me: Well, you don’t seem ready to open up. After which she imitated my posture and look in my eyes. Do you want to be coached? Right away I felt that she didn’t fall for my act. I felt that one: my head down, arms normal, and after digesting a little bit of my fakeness, I said: yes I am ready.

Burn-out & learning to feel
What I did to burn my self out was only living in my head, not even feeling my own heart beat. During my third ‘succesful’ study, I burned out. I didn’t understand, and even less did I feel why. Chungmei guided me through this process. Some topics, in random order, we have worked on were:

  1. Why am I a perfectionist?
  2. Why do I train extremely hard?
  3. Why am I always busy?
  4. Why do I stutter?
  5. How come I don’t feel my body?
  6. What caused the burn out ?
  7. Why do I stop breathing when I think longer than 1 minute?

Answers were: I felt I was not good enough, so everything needed to be perfect. I felt a lot of surpressed emotions and had surpressed emotions myself which caused intense stress. My coping mechanism was using my head, and satisfying others and my main man Mr. Society.

This I understood after being lead through different exercises and questions no one ever asked me. With one single question she could make me feel my sadness of being so stressed. Or scared, or….unhappy. Because that’s the overal feeling: I was not happy, and was basically killing myself with thinking, studying and working. Without the burn – out to stop me, I was dead by now.

It may sound a bit extreme, but seriously she saved my life. Thank you for that. Thank you for letting go of everything that didn’t belong to me. For the first time in my life, I feel who I am, what I want to do. I became a better husband, a better person, a better father after being coached intensively by you. With better I mean more me, because that’s all there is right? I believe the best I can be is the closest to who I really am.

Now, that I write this I think of words that could describe the thankfulness that I feel in my heart. Being coached by you and feeling myself was my biggest gift after being born. It was a great pleasure being coached by someone so naturally connected with the Universe. Someone who coached so intuitively, so in the moment.

As a child I believed in magic, felt happiness in playing. Somewhere in high school I started to believe in the world of thoughts, studies, work and society. I am 32 now, and life is magic again.

By Arnold Baldé

Training ‘A Fun Filled Life’

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The 4th of November I gave a training with the theme ‘A Fun Filled Life’. It was soooo much fun to present this training to an audience of 25 heads. Especially because the training consisted of several surprising and confronting parts and exercises! How come I know this? Because while I was contemplating on what I would put in the training I shared some of my ideas with my partner. Many times he was like: “So, what would you like to achieve with this exercise?” and “Are you sure about presenting this?” Yes, he was trying to understand me. Even though he questioned me I felt he trusted my abilities as a coach/trainer. Finally, he decided to leave me playing around: “We will see how they will react!”

To answer his questions: what I wanted to achieve with the exercises is what I had discussed earlier with the client. They recently had been through a reorganisation and there was one coming up. The atmosphere on the workfloor was a negative one. Employees were gossiping away, working on the projects they needed to do in stead of doing more than they were asked to do. The client wanted me to spark the fire to create an attitude which would reflect teamwork, switching from a negative point-of-view to a positive one with many possibilities.

Like my partner, I was really eager to see their reactions and if they would be willing to play along. The result was that like 95% of the participants were easily motivated to stand up and move, share their views and work on the exercises. The group consisted of a wide range of positions held in the company, such as advisors, secretaries, controllers and a director.

Three weeks later I had a feedback session with the client.  I received some great feedback. One thing which was definitely mind blowing to me was that I worked time orientated. The feedback was to let go of the time frame towards the participants and keep it 100% to myself.

Get an impression of the training: click here. 

Contact me, if you would like to hire me as a trainer: orchidoflife@gmail.com, mobile phonenumber; +31642804038
Lifecoach for Orchid of Life

training

3 Tips on Finding balance after burn-out

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Getting yourself into a burn-out by working hard is common knowledge. What isn’t, is that getting yourself out of the burn-out is hard work too. A possible definition of a burn-out is that you don’t feel mentally and physically strong to go about and handle your daily life. From the moment that you admit -with ‘you’ I refer to you and your body -that you are totally exhausted, the recovery starts by taking as much rest as possible. You need to catch up your sleeping hours and feel mentally and psychically rested to start taking charge of your life again by doing things step by step. And now comes the hard part!

The signals which got you in the burn-out are still there. You wish they weren’t, but unfortunately they are. The process of recovering of a burn-out takes time. The bodily signals I am speaking of, now pop up once in a while in stead of every day. The trick is to be overly conscious about these signals. For one that’s a typical headache and for another it’s aching eyes or stomach pain. Know your psychical signals, because they tell you a lot about ‘crossing mental and physical borders of your recovery’.

3 Tips on finding balance after burn-out

Recovery takes time
1. Know that it takes time to recover: you won’t get over a burn-out after a week of catching up sleep. A reason for this is that you are still the same person with the same ‘hard working-characteristics’. After a few days of working in the same way as you used to have, including being present at your social activities, the signals could return.

Listen & act upon your signals
2. Listen carefully to your signals. When physical pains start coming back again you should listen to them and ask yourself the following question: ‘How shall I take my rest?’ By taking a powernap on the couch, sit down and close my eyes, sleep for an hour, listen to music and so on. Anything which takes you out of the ‘thinking mode’ will help you to overcome the signals.

Setting priorities
3. The following question could be: ‘How did I get myself into this position again?’ Be as honest as possible in finding the answer to this question. The answers will get you back in balance & business! What also passes by as a learning point during the recovery process is that you learn to know what you are able to handle on a daily basis. Set your priorities and keep up with them. Don’t feel like a failure if you need to reset your priorities. That’s all part of the learning curve. Admit that your ambitions were a bit too high for the time being, but as soon as you feel healthy and in balance more (different) activities will be a part of your day.

The tips above will help you to create a healthy way of life. Some people like to take upon this challenge on their own and some know they would be happy with professional guidance. Changing habits need time. Habits are driven by the mind. And if you might feel any resistance or have any questions about what you think or feel during the recovery you can contact me.

Lifecoaching in action: make up your Balance Now!

1.Health
How do you feel today? Do you eat a healthy diet? Do you exercise on a regular basis? For example: it could be that you are suffering  annoying pains, but you don’t take action to get your fysical state back to how it always has been, because of lack of time. Is it lack of time and all the deadlines you are facing or is it about setting priorities? My belief is that your health is the basis of everything what is going on in your life. Everything revolves arond YOU! And if you don’t feel up beat because of different reasons then it is time to do something about it. Be honest with yourself.

2.Relationships
Do you make time for your beloved ones, the ones who give you energy? Do you have friends or relatives who sap your energy, every time you see them? As my partner and I are both ambitious people I often tell him that we need to see our dear family and friends on a regular basis. Because of our work schedule we have to give it some more time to balance our get-togethers with family and friends. Moreover, in case of family, they live all across Holland. Yes, Holland is a small country, but the travelling surely takes up time. Furthermore, be aware of spending time with people who affect your state of mind. Is it worth spending time with them? If they are, then it is best to keep your emotional distance. Act like a Buddha! People can spit their negative thougths, but know that these emotions are theirs to keep. If we are speaking about people who don’t actually mean a lot to us, then minimize the time you spend with them or when the relationship is too horrible, make up your mind about continuing the relationship.

3.Career
Can you see yourself in the same career in five years’ time? If that thought makes you think of five long years of stress and boredom, it’s time to start researching a career change Will your current actions put you in the position you want to be in, or will they mean that you never progress from where you currently are? What you can do  when it comes down to choosing the career which will fit you best is to visualize, for example, at least 9 moments of pure happiness, and then translate these feelings to work related pillars such as people you work with, working conditions, working internationally, in contact with people or more a solitary function etc.

4.Education
Are you thinking of additional education or are you already studying next to your full-time job?
Alternatively, are you taking on so many extra credit courses that you’re risking burn-out? In our society we all want more, better and it is also part of our status. But does it really make you happy? And if you really want to take additional courses or a Master Degree make it possible for yourself to lead a ‘normal’ life along the way! Keep seeing your friends, make time for love and enjoy the time you have. I often hear people saying that it only takes up 2 years of their life. Two full years of hard work and then what? The thing is that people forget that they live now. Everything is happening now, how are you able to postpone coming across the love of your life for example? It sounds like I am a dreamer, but I know first hand that it is possible. Recently I heard that someone decided to stop taking courses in his Master Degree. After one year of full-time working and studying he got tired of everything.

5.Opportunities
Something many people regret in life is not taking advantage of the chances that they have. Are you missing out on any opportunities at the moment? Imagine that you have your future-self looking back at the life you are leading right now and telling you to sign up for that course, take that class, reach out to that potential new friend, or volunteer for that big project at work? A good place to look for the opportunities you’re missing is to think about anything you’re afraid to try, or afraid to start. Those are the things that future-self wishes you would do!

By Chungmei Cheng
Lifecoach for Orchid of Life