Keep calm and sparkle

sparkle

With so many things happening on the personal front we were continuously challenged on the work front. The past four years haven’t been easy with a burnout husband. Even though he still has this enormous headache we’re slowly crawling our ways up to a ‘normal’ living. A normal living would of course be when he is 100% healthy, but since we can’t plan the date of him being fully recovered, we do our best in our own pace.

We have dreams, big dreams. Dreams in which all of you are included. We strive for a healthy and happy living; mentally, physically and spiritually. Tonight at dinner he told me about someone who inspires him. Someone who trains people to get to know their true voice. He was impressed by his training method and thought he could do something similar; freeing people from their blockages. In his case it would be by moving. His thinking and brainstorming about the topic brought him to his moving core: his free flow capoeira method. A method which can make people of all ages enjoy moving, like they enjoyed moving when they were a child. Teaching people how to enjoy moving and playing around is only one of his dreams.

The thoughts I shared with him were about the ebook I’m writing on anger: how to deal with anger when you’re a highly sensitive person. The writing went well, my mind was crystal clear and that was exactly what I needed to fill the gaps. Now I realize I didn’t share my thoughts on workshops. Thoughts come and go like that. This morning I received two more sign-ups for a workshop I organized on emotion management for highly sensitive people in Utrecht. I was so happy that I started daydreaming instantly about organizing a workshop with a friend of mine. A friend who works as a psychologist and with whom I studied neuro linguistic programming. I saw myself having fun with her while brainstorming about different workshop topics.

At the moment she is super busy so I need to tame my enthusiasm. And that’s good, it’s good to keep my focus. Focus helps to finalize our current projects. Let’s stay calm and sparkle on this road called love.

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Looking back on 2011

2011 has set the tone for the rest of my life. Some major changes took place in a year which can be characterized as ‘slow living’.

Relationship

We have learned a lot from our relationship since it is pretty difficult to deal with burn-out. My partner Arnold is suffering continuous headache and had just about enough energy to teach capoeira a couple of times a week. Everything else weighed on my shoulders. There was no ‘us-time’, because there was no energy. I had to accept that if I wanted to do ‘fun stuff’ I had to do this alone or with friends. He didn’t even have the energy to think about ‘accepting the situation’. In stead he crawled into bed and in a later stage he could go out for walk in the forest or at the beach. And that’s about it. Being alone in a relationship is tough. This goes for the both of us.

My deep respect goes to what he did for my birthday. Even though he didn’t have the energy, he tapped into his willpower to surprise me with a gift on the morning of my birthday; a child’s seat for the bicycle. Our eyes filled with tears. In return I still haven’t done anything special for his birthday. I feel bad and than he reassures me: you do enough for me, thanks. Luckily our strong belief that these tough times would be for the better got us through 2011.

Parenthood
Every day our sun rose between six and seven o’clock in the morning. We are blessed to be her parents. She is cheerful and happy. She sleeps like a rose; 12 hours each night, and eats like a horse; everything we serve her. Where Arnold could loosen up the parenting I could be more clear in saying-no when she’s asking for the food on my plate while in fact she was done eating. All together we’re blessed that despite his illness both of us are on the top of things concerning her development.

Food
As a part of Arnold’s fysical and emotional development he started to bake his own bread. After a visit to a mesoloog; someone who practices the art of identifying what nutrients the body needs, lacks or is allergic to. He needed to avoid some nutrients so we started to do more grocery shopping at the organic food stores. So besides white rice, potatoes, pasta we added quinoa, pasta made from spelt, pancakes made from spelt, buckwheat, couscous, corn, taro, cassava and a whole range of pulses. In 2008 I promised my grandfather to avoid the deep frozen fish from the supermarkets. In 2009 he passed away. In 2010 our daughter was born. And halfway through 2011 I decided to definitely switch to super fresh fish: keeping my promise. Ever since we buy our fish in Scheveningen or at the Hague market. With regards to meat; we started eating more organic meat. There is no definite switch from my side and by exception I eat non-organic meat served by restaurants, family or friends.

Work
Summer 2011 we both realized what our focus concerning career should be. I discovered my path in coaching after having practiced coaching for 8 years both on individual- and group level.  This is coaching highly sensitive people on all topics of life and coaching people to act out of their core being; acting upon their intuition. Arnold decided to finish his third studies in the field of nutrition (bachelor food and dietetics) and continue working as a capoeira teacher for adults and children. I believe it was his ninth year of having practiced capoeira. So it seems that four years ago our lives have come together for a reason; sustaining and supporting fysical, mental and inner growth.

To conclude 2011: we learned that trust and accepting the situation as it is, makes for a solid foundation on which inner growth is possible.

Your talent keeps you young

My deeply felt respect goes out to Robertinho Silva. I got to know him last Wednesday in Theater Culturalis in the Hague. We, six students of Capoeira Engenho, were present to give a capoeira demonstration and to receive a percussion class of the master himself. He was quick, alert and making jokes all the time. He made fun of me being tired. Only a few seconds after a yawn escaped from me, he took his chance to copy my yawn. Oeps! Yeaah..he made me laugh, the contradiction was so obvious. Robertinho, 70 years old , an explosion of energy and me, a woman of 33 yearning for her sleep.

Last night I attended another percussion class and was sitting next to him. I caught myself staring at his hands, arms, face and teeth. His hands and arms could be from a guy in his fourties. The expression on this face was alive and I believe he still had his own teeth! Of course I didn’t dare to ask, hihi, I was there to play the timba. Ok, focus on the music in stead of his appearance. But no, I need to point this out.

Robertinho Silva is 70 and full of energy. I want to be like him on that age. I truly believe that his talent keeps him young. So hence my outcry: stop doing things which totally exhaust you and start doing things that makes you feel alive and kicking!!

So what’s your talent?

Also read: Start doing more mindless things.

Synchronicity runs through my coaching practice

This feeling of being alive, energetic and happy has its source in being ‘coaching’. Or even bettter put: in being ‘the spark that lights up fires’. I’ll explain…Yesterday we had a nice day out in the park. I did some reading, playing with Amé and playing a bit of capoeira. My man and a friend were kicking ass by doing capoeira: free & easy to get the muscles loosend up. This afternoon and evening we had conversations about my work, psychology and psychotherapy; in short ‘breaking through destructive emotions’.

While talking about my work I was reminded by something ‘magical’ which runs through my coaching practice and has defined my practice from the start in 2004.

When I started in 2004 I received an e-mail from an ex-colleague of mine. Someone I worked with during my bachelor communication in Rotterdam. At that time she was somewhere in South-America and she sent an e-mail to her family. I was put in ‘cc’ and I was the only one. Hmmm…how odd, because we hadn’t had contact for already 5 years. I answered and because of our e-mail exchange we met up in café Dudok in Rotterdam. I told her about my work. She told me about her life at that moment and said: “I need to hire you as a coach!”. Amazing, my first coachee, via a digital wink of the universe.

This ‘magical’ thing is ungoing. I could go on and on about synchronic anekdotes from my practice (2004 -up until now), but I will leave you with one happened recently…

Not long ago I had a talk with someone quit racional explaining what the term synchronicity actually means. He was like “I don’t believe in coincidences. They just happen and not for a specific reason. Only an hour later synchronicity crossed his path and I was happy to be around to witness this. While he was looking for the ‘how’, how it came to be that a specific country appeared on the screen, I asked him: “What did it do to you seeing the name of the country?” “This country is special to me. It makes me special. I was born there.” From that moment on I was sure that I would eventually coach him or be of help in some way.

Tedx Rotterdam on Friday the 4th of June

The following Dutch people make it possible to have a Ted Event in the Netherlands:

“TEDxRot­ter­dam is founded by Myron Freel­ing and Isis Spui­jbroek, who were granted the right to orga­nize TEDxRot­ter­dam by the TED orga­ni­za­tion. TEDxRot­ter­dam is orga­nized by a non­profit foun­da­tion. TEDxRot­ter­dam is made pos­si­ble because of the part­ner­ships with affi­lated orga­ni­za­tions, com­pa­nies and entrepeneurs.”

Check out the site for more information: http://www.tedxrdam.nl/
Register yourself and write an inspiring motivation why they should invite you to this event!!

My registration
What’s your idea worth spreading?
– The idea that we should strive for TRUE LOVE. True love is possible if you are willing to open your heart by overcoming all negative emotions such as fear, anger, and disappointment.

What are you made of?
– Made of pure love. A clear mind who can reflect the underlying emotions which people tend to hide consciously or unconsciously.

Which of your heroes should be included in Tedx Rotterdam and why?
– My partner Arnold Emile Balde, because sometimes I feel like I am living with Buddha himself. He keeps his calm in many situations, eager to learn and spreads his fysical, musical and spiritual creativity with capoeira and he is a major connector of people from different cultures.

So, do you think I will get invited to this event? 😉

Unfamiliar with Ted? Get to know Ted by the following link: http://www.ted.com/.

Taking risks with positive results -Brazil Part 8

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This is the 8th and last blog in a serie of blogs about our experiences in Brazil, where we spent 5 weeks this year. The reason for our trip was capoeira. My partner teaches capoeira in the Hague. His capoeira name is Vitamina. He represents Grupo Engenho, a Brazilian capoeira group, in the Netherlands.

Taking risks…
…is scary, but when you want something really bad than sometimes it’s good to just do it. Like I did when I took this photo. Allright it is a small risk compared to so many other risks you can take, I know, but let’s start small. The scenary above was overwhelming to me and I wanted to share it with people at home. It felt as if I wasn’t there, but in fact I was there and surrounded by busses packed with people wanting to get home, the smell of gasoline and people on the bridge walking away and to a mall. Luckily no one grabbed the camera and I have an image/experience to share.

By Chungmei Cheng
Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching