How we stay positive, healthy and strong in these times

First of all: we are not panicking. We are not more afraid than we should be. We are surrounded by people who are afraid of being contaminated by the corona virus. Family, friends and neighbours. Even though Dutch government told us that we can receive up to three people in our house, people massively have decided not to open up their doors for visitors.

We have friends who don’t want to meet up because they want to act in complete solidarity with the people who are suffering directly or indirectly because of the corona virus. Furthermore they don’t want to unconsciously pass on the corona virus which will inevitably increase the pressure onto healthcare organisations. 

No, of course, we don’t want that either. But come on, have more trust in your own bodies. And have more trust in your fellow human being. Don’t get angry or upset and start scolding, because someone has crossed your path within those 1.5 meters. We are outside walking in the “wild”, because we are not sick! Well, that’s what I want to believe. 

Most of the time we are at home or near home, but those social moments on playgrounds, in our street or with (some) friends/school mates and their parents at their houses or somewhere in nature are priceless. As one friend said (today): “Come in, have some tea and let our bacterias meet”. In continuation: one of my clients works at a primary school and after each 6-week Summer holiday classmates see each other again and within days they receive phonecalls of parents whose kids got sick while they hadn’t been sick for the entire Summer holiday. 

Her biggest concern was how to gradually let all teachers, parents and students gather in and around school after the schools are reopened. When you allow everyone to come at once, it will be a mess for sure. 

Anyhow, we continue to stay calm, cheerful and happy. Whenever emotions related to corona times surface we embrace them. Including the emotions triggered by the emotions related to corona times. (trauma) We also continue to guide our children through this. 

​​​​​​​From here, my heart to yours, I’m sending you lots of positive energy, physical calmness and peace of mind. And let’s keep on doing what makes us feel alive :))

  • Polishing my Spanish by listening to Martha Debayle and singing in this beautiful language;
  • Creating video’s to share my work and to enhance this skill to create video courses related to being highly sensitive and all challenges in life;
  • Interview people via videoskype on career change & interviewing artists on their creative processes;
  • Eat fresh foods, salads on almost a daily basis;
  • Laughing out loud with Arnold and our kids;
  • Being outside in nature;
  • Write & continue sharing my work via social media;
  • Still meeting people on a physical level on a small scale who are healthy and full of trust, like we are.

What makes you feel alive? 

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Website: Orchid of Life ~ HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

Growth is uncomfortable: psychosomatic illness surfaced during healing process

A sign! Received by an client of mine who is going through a deep and intense transformation process. Unprocessed emotions reveal themselves through the physical body. There is rash and itching all over. How I see it, is that the inner fire is awakenend. The inner fire is a mixture of anger, fear and sadness of the hurt inner child and the adult who is now aware of both the pain of the inner child ánd the adult. And this inner fire is burning through her old skin in order for the new skin to appear. A skin in which the client is able to live from out of her own “fire”, her needs and values.

That mixture of feelings would’t have shown itself via the skin if the person was in a loving connection with their emotional body. This was a psycho-somatic reaction of trauma.

We entered this phase of deep-rooted anger, fear and sadness which resulted in rash all over her body after the 22nd coaching and rebirthing session. Up until this session many physical symptoms appeared during and in between the sessions. During the sessions she had experienced trembling from crown to toes, warmth, coldness, headache, stiffness in neck and shoulders, pressure in several body parts, cramps in arms and hands, tension throughout her legs which made her move involuntary. Parallel to these physical reactions she learned to cry. At first she was so amazed by being in contact with sadness that she started laughing. Then it became a mixture of crying and laughing.

In between sessions she went through extreme tiredness, a foggy head, itchiness, headaches and at times more energy and a new kind of clarity and cheerfulness.

The client was in it for the whole game from the first session onwards. I’m referring to the openness and curiosity she had towards rebirthing and after her first session she decided upon doing a trajectory in which the emphasis would lie on processing trauma’s through breath work. During the first three sessions she felt a renewed connection with her physical body. As we continued working together, more limiting thoughts and emotions surfaced.

Let’s say, more or less during five sessions before this rash and itchiness appeared the following insights were part of the emotional development:

  • the unhealthy relationship with her parents, living up to their expectations in so many ways possible;
  • she took upon the role of the parents in relationship to her younger brother, feeling loads of responsibility in providing emotional support, because parents weren’t able to provide this;
  • consciously saying “no” to other people’s roles (in personal & professional context)in order to getting to know her role;
  • fear of change, fear of stepping out of her comfort zone;
  • letting go of being the perfect daughter;
  • realising that for years it was a huge burden that she wanted to bring in the perfect son-in-law for her parents;
  • carefully and consciously showing her emotional self in different relationships.

The red thread through these insights is that she is letting go of emotional bagage of her parents which directed her to emotionally stand on her own feet. Of discovering her true self. It opened the path to re-evaluate her norms and values in life. With realising on a mental level in what ways she took upon the emotional bagage of her parents her emotional body awakened loads of unacknowledged emotions. These are all emotions of the inner child who was not capable of acknowledging them, because of lack in support and emotional guidance of the parents.

These unacknowledged emotions showed themselves through the physical body. Ready to be embraced and processed.

Related blogs:
Rebirthing: the body will never lie
Rebirthing: standing up for yourself

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
http://www.orchidoflife.nl/home_en/

Express anger to create space to feel love, compassion and inner peace

Somehow my coaching & rebirthing practice has theme weeks. This week it was all about emerging anger.

Clients were telling me stories filled with uncovered anger and I grabbed it with both hands. I laid out for them how connecting with anger in order to express it can diminish fear, even to the point that fear evaporates.

I just finished a session with a client who I guided with social panorama. This technique is based on neuro linguistic programming and similar to family constellations but with the difference that it’s only based on your emotional imaginary map and the presence of others is not needed.

This technique is very effective to create emotional change within all relationships. This week I’ve seen clients expressing their anger towards a bullying older sister, an emotional distant parent and inauthentic parent.

Expressing anger in a safe environment lowers stress levels caused by fear and creates space to feel more love, compassion and inner peace.

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life?

Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

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Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

Rebirthing: listen to your body

How often do we neglect physical pains and discomforts? Such as a twitching eyelid, headache, stomach pain, cold shoulder, restless leg and so on. Your body wants to be heard and has a story to tell. Stories on what you feel, of emotions which want to be released: sadness, anger, fear and guilt. Start listening, start breathing.

Today a highly sensitive man came in for his 11th rebirthing session. He was in total despair. The last couple of days he was at home after a difficult conversation with his supervisors. He wasn’t able to stand up for himself even though he knows his workload is too much for him. As a result of this meeting he had a headache above walking around with physical complaints such as obstipation and a twitching eyelid. 

For the past years he dealt with the workload and he was quite successful. It was exactly what he wanted. The past months his emotional development took him into a phase in which he needed to stand up for himself. He needed to stand up against his parents. The reason why he took up the workload was a deep desire to be seen, to be acknowledged for his presence, his abilities and knowledge. He had missed this during his upbringing. His parents had to deal with their own problems. They didn’t have the emotional space and consciousness to guide him. 

Emotional development takes a person to his or her own core, the place filled with joy, peace and self love. By continuously emptying this place of sadness, anger, fear, guilt and hate, one makes space for unconditional self love. This is not arrogant nor selfish, it’s essential to maintain emotional health and to start and maintain healthy relationships. 

During a rebirthing session of two hours I have seen this man change from a dead scared man unable to hold his position in conversation with pears to a man who communicated from a confident and strong place. He shared his professional successes and felt proud. He finally felt he was a good, hardworking and reliable human being and employee. Before he was never satisfied and was searching for more appreciation by doing much more than he could handle. He was able to continue this race for a long time steered by his head, his ratio. Hereby totally neglecting his body. 

The past months has changed his attitude in life in a positive way. He is on the verge of living out of love instead of fear. Soon he will make an appointment with his peers to discuss his position.

Two days after having posted this blog I received the following comment of the man I wrote about in this blog:

Thank you Chungmei. It was an amazing journey that I took together with you. Your power, sensing and serenity was inspiring me. And you know what happened after Wednesday: last week I succeeded to stand up for myself. The feedback that I received from my supervisors and colleagues was fantastic.

So I gave myself a big gift. When I came home, all the pain, fear and anger left my body while I was doing the conscious connected breathing. It was enormous intense, painful to feel all the emotions. But this was replaced by good feelings like: proudness, confidence, giving myself (inner) space, and realising what good qualities I have and being able to show these.

A turning point which was already going on, but I didn’t expect that these changes would go so fast. The energy is not there yet, but it is going up and I am doing it step by step. Unbelievable, I was struggling for so many years, but these sessions really helped me a lot!!

As we said a few weeks ago: I’m going to kick some ass and will shine. I’m going to fill this circle with a lot of love and positive energy. Namaste Chungmei.

So what about you? Are you walking around with physical discomforts? Are you in need of positive change? Feel free to contact me to schedule an appointment!

Click here for more information on the introduction session.

HSP: live from your core and inner strength

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As a highly sensitive person we are characterized by traits such as kindness, good-natured, helpful, attentive, conscious, creative and with strongly developed senses for nature, the emotional side of human beings, babies, animals and spirituality. Based on these characteristics I am convinced that highly sensitive people naturally live more from their heart’s calling. I am not saying that they all have the perfect jobs and that their whole lives revolves around every heart’s desire they have. Some highly sensitive people are still wandering and stuck in a job which holds them back. Jobs which are able to drain them in such a way that they feel waisted and super tired from a day’s work.

Let’s get back to a highly sensitive person’s calling and the possibility of leading a live which suits you best in many ways. I would like to get your attention for a person’s calling in a sense which resonates completely with one’s soul. What makes your soul happy? Have you every wondered what it might be? How would it be like to live from your core and inner strength? I can imagine it’s not a daily life question. My experience is that this question mainly pops up when a person finds himself stuck in the life that they are currently leading. A life which doesn’t provide the deep pleasure and satisfaction which automatically puts a smile on your face.

That feeling of being stuck can occur when you are not happy at your current job, because of a business culture in which people are only thinking of themselves, getting higher up at cost of their colleagues. Perhaps even at cost of your performance. Or you are looking for a job, but the only thing that comes your way are rejections. No, you don’t fit the job, because you’re too highly qualified or your ambitions are too high. That feeling of being stuck can also be an indescribable feeling, a feeling unknown to you, because you were the person who was always positive-minded and pro-active when it came to your life. And that’s where I as a Life Coach come in.

My specialty is to guide people in a way they are enabled to see clearly through the emotions they are feeling. Some emotions have a blinding effect, such as fear, anger, sadness and guilt. It’s quite easy to get stuck in these emotions whilst thinking you are stuck in life. Life moves on, but life can be much more fun and a place where you want to be, when you are happy and calm from within. And let’s take a moment for mourning; this is a deep-rooted raw emotion which can tear someone apart. Our society doesn’t allow us the time to mourn in detail. This means it’s up to us to take the time to mourn.

And what does this emotion-talk have to do with getting to know your soul’s mission? Well, it has everything to do with your soul’s mission. One is unable to feel and act upon the soul’s mission if the soul is still covered with fear, anxiety, anger, sadness and guilt. Your soul needs you to be kind, attentive and loving to yourself. As a highly sensitive person we are more likely to be attentive to others, to act upon the needs of others. Well, it’s about time you stand up for yourself. Heal the thoughts you are having, heal the wound that you are carrying around. It’s time to feel and act upon your inner strength. From the first step you will take you will notice the joy from within. Are you ready for real change?

Are you interested in a session? Click here to read more about the introduction session! 

Life Coaching: live your dream and wear your passion

The-Holstee-Manifesto

Take time to do what makes your soul happy

soul

Too often we run around doing things for others or we keep ourselves occupied with work, hobbies and social activities. At the end of the day or a whole week we feel exhausted. When did we take time to feed our soul? Especially highly sensitive people need their down time; time to inhale energy and exhale relaxation. One of the things you can do to feed your soul is to write down or go through your gratitude list. Here’s mine:

  1. I am grateful for having finished the 30 Day Vegan Challenge
  2. for opening up to the Vegan world and having decided to eat 80% vegan and the rest of the time everything I like to eat
  3. for walking around in a healthy and fit body
  4. for every emotion I feel
  5. for choosing for my well-being instead of feeling guilty about choosing for myself in relationship with my mom
  6. for my interest in people
  7. for my drive to heal people from their wounds
  8. for my capacity to guide people so they feel strong from the inside
  9. for my intuitivity
  10. for my writing skills
  11. for my grey hairs and especially for smiling when a friend mentioned my grey hairs
  12. for my ability to present other world views to people who need a change of perspective
  13. for feeling strong by what I eat
  14. for connecting with people in different ways: social media, on the streets, public transport
  15. for loving life dearly
  16. for talking with Amé about death
  17. for laughing out loud
  18. for enjoying books
  19. for loving to dance
  20. for sharing food with friends
  21. for organizing family gatherings
  22. for seeing things differently
  23. for feeling calm from within
  24. for shining like I do
  25. for my deep urge to change the world for the better
  26. for my desire to share and spread the word on high sensitivity
  27. for the people around me who see what I can bring
  28. for seeing and feeling what I can bring about
  29. for having been the mom that I am towards Amé
  30. for my insights
  31. for my teaching skills when it comes to children, they are so much fun, everyone wants to be seen
  32. for sharing the truth
  33. To conclude: this gratitude list is about how grateful I am to be me

HSP: I think you are quite sensitive

brussels sprouts

Today I received a lovely surprise while I was picking up my daughter from primary school. She’s in her first year and has made lots of friends. One girl walked up to me, looked at me with big expecting eyes and her arms were moving from one side to another in a really enthusiastic manner. What she non-verbally communicated to me was what her mom asked me in a verbal way. If my daughter was allowed to go with them by car for a play date. Later this afternoon her husband could drop her off at our home. This time I wasn’t able to speak.

Different thoughts were running through my mind. While I was still not speaking the lady nicely gave me back all the thoughts I was thinking. She knew exactly what I was thinking. Yes, I wanted to check if my daughter still had the energy to go on a play date. And I felt uncomfortable to send her off to people I hadn’t made acquaintance with yet. Moreover, I knew my daughter wouldn’t feel comfortable being brought home by a man she didn’t know. The lady was so nice. Any way around would be fine. She came across like a warm hearted person so I took some time to decide, but finally decided to invite them at our place for lunch.

Even though my daughter looked tired, which made me doubt to go on this play date in the first place, they had lots of fun together. I am happy there was no screaming or fighting. We, the adults, have gotten to know each other in the meantime. My man was cooking up a lunch for us and surprisingly and may I say “coincidentally” this lady doesn’t eat meat, fish or poultry and neither consumes produce of animals. This was exactly the diet my husband changed to two days ago. When she was five years old she decided not to eat meat anymore, because she felt bad for the animals.

Lunch was super. We had a salad of stir-fried brussels sprouts, mushrooms, grated carrot, sundried tomatoes and avocado along with brown rice. As a treat we served dates. Food wise we had a great click. We shared our experiences with food and at some point the conversation changed to high sensitivity. She mentioned that her family is very sensitive to many foods and in a very careful way she shared with us that she thinks we are very sensitive too. I laughed out loud and added to this that, as a coach, I am specialized in coaching highly sensitive people. It turned out we were talking to a mom who educated herself on this topic, because of her highly sensitive children. She has two daughters, the eldest is six years old and the girl who was playing at our place is four years old. Her husband and herself are highly sensitive too.

Last year, after May holidays, they have changed schools. The eldest was attending a Montessori school near their home, but somehow she wasn’t doing well in school. She didn’t feel like picking a game to play with and from the moment they arrived at the building she turned inwards. In short, she wasn’t happy. They have even consulted a child psychologist, but her daughter wouldn’t share her feelings. They were considering the fact that she might have been bullied, but they are not sure. Before changing schools, which was quite a life changing event for the family, they asked this psychologist if it would be wise to change schools even though they don’t know the cause behind their daughters behavior The psychologist responded that the child’s behavior is leading in every decision they make.

So before definitely changing to this school, which is by the way also a Montessori school, the children were able to attend school for one morning. Afterwards the eldest exclaimed that she wanted to attend this school. Even though the school is further away from their home, the mom is glad to have made this change for her children. She suffered sleepless nights, because her daughter wasn’t happy in school. Now the kids are happy, she is finally able to think ahead. One of the steps she will take is to look around for job opportunities.

On love: The Last

The way she sings this song

A couple of weeks ago I got to know Tamera Foster via X factor UK. Only 16 years old and she already knows what her true passion is. I have seen this performance many times, it touched me right in the heart, time after time. Actually it didn’t touch me; that would not describe in the least the impact of her performance. It literally pierced right into a wound which was still there, tears were running down my face, time after time. That’s why it took so long for me to blog about it.

This is what happened, while listening to her, her performance changed into a metaphor for life. I believe everyone has come to a point in life when a combination of fear and nerves has led to a black-out. In many cases it could have been a traumatic black-out which has limited one to act out of strength and love for oneself. When Tamera was going through this awful feeling of being lost she asked permission to step of the stage. Backstage she asked for help.

I am convinced that this is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself: asking for help. After having heard the specific words she needed to hear she went up the stage again; still blurried by tension, but from now on willpower carried her throughout the song. Now it was up to her. It carried her while still experiencing fear and tension during first half of the song. What moved me were the facial expressions of the jury: they supported her fully.

She did it, like I believe everyone can do! The moment when she was in sync with herself and everyone around her she was heard: her voice is amazing! I know she is blessed for knowing at such a young age that this is her life goal and she is going for it. Having found a vocation in life means also overcoming it’s hurdles to finally simply shine from your core being.

Before choosing this path she was lost, from the moment her voice was heard there is still work to do, but a fulfilling and rewarding life is awaiting her. A change is preceeded by a choice: choose for whatever makes you happy!