When life gives you lemons…

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I love this phrase. This phrase contains sadness and happiness. It directs the reader to make something fun out of something sad. In some strange way this phrase led me to some of the rebirthing sessions I’ve guided this week via video skype.

While this lady over fifty was crying her heart out over not even feeling she has a choice in different situations, she suddenly burst into laughter. Laughter changed into crying again. I was looking at my screen, a bit in doubt, because I wondered if she was laughing or crying. She cleared my doubt by sharing she was laughing. I commented that laughter heals, she totally agreed. I forgot to ask why she started laughing in the first place.

Another lady in her thirties started and finished the session off with laughter. In between she cried her heart and eyes out. She was able to direct her anger towards her parents in stead of down talking herself over and over again. She let out this destructive energy by stamping her feet, throwing her arms around, screaming the hell out of her and jumping up and down.

And this mixture of laughing and crying showed me these ladies were making lemonade. It shows a huge strength when you’re able to laugh when you’re feeling completely miserable.

The lemons given to the highly sensitive people I guide are diverse:

  • Being brought up by parents who are not able to communicate about emotions,
  • Being fired away as a kid by an angry and dominant parent,
  • Too be sensitive is to be weird, dreamy, a crybaby, shy, fearful, anti-social in the eyes of others,
  • Because of childhood trauma’s still living out of fear, anger, sadness, shame and guilt as an adult,
  • Growing up in an environment in which natural born talents were not seen nor stimulated,
  • Living up to parent’s expectations in stead of discovering your own path in life.

It’s up to you to make lemonade out of these lemons. It’s not easy, but it is sure doable. And you will finally fully enjoy your home-made lemonade!

Choosing to emotionally develop takes you to different surprising tastes of lemonade:

  • Embracing your highly sensitive self; yes, you are spontaneous, yes you are quirky, yes you are dreamy, yes you are a “mind & heart”-reader, yes you are attentive to the needs of others, yes you are creative, yes you are … (fill in the blanks yourself),
  • Attracting jobs, relationship(s) and friends which and who resonate with your soul,
  • Feeling safe, loved and appreciated on a daily basis; from self-love comes greatness,
  • More physical and mental energy to do the things you like,
  • Able to choose easily for the situations in which you will thrive and easily turning down the proposals which will drain your energy level,
  • Living your own path and feeling natural self-confident about the steps you take.

If you’re interested in finding out what life coaching and rebirthing can bring you, I invite you to make an appointment for an introduction session, either in my coaching practice in The Hague or via video skype. Click here to read more about the introduction session. 

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Life Coaching: dominated by a parent’s critical voice

expression

Some people walk around through life dictated by a dominant voice. This could be a voice from their mother or father or even worse from both of them. The voice surfaces at critical moments in life. For example when you have just finished organizing your wardrobe. You feel slightly proud of yourself and happy to have done the work. You walk out the bedroom and suddenly a  voice appears which tells you to organize it even better. It wasn’t done properly, you should give it more time and start organizing your clothes again. That feeling of being proud and happy was vanished as soon as this voice appeared.

Many people I coach are being tortured by a voice which they have come to see as a part of their own identity. Recently a man in his fourties came into my practice. His life was negatively influenced by a sexual abuse incident when he was ten years old. He never once mentioned this experience to his parents nor bigger sister. He was indeed traumatized, but felt the need to keep it to himself. From then on he dealt with many fears towards men and woman. He wasn’t even sure about his sexuality. During our fourth session I guided him through an exercise in which he could feel and acknowledge the anger towards his abuser. I let him stamp his feet and move his whole body as how children show emotions with full strength and conviction.

During the next session he mentioned he still felt anger. Based on our talk it wasn’t the anger towards his abuser, but feeling frustrated, because he was held back by a voice who told him he couldn’t blame his abuser for everything he had experienced in life. Hmmm…that voice, it didn’t sound like his voice. Whose voice is this? I asked. The immediate answer came: ‘My mom’s voice. It’s the same voice who held me back during the releasing-the-anger exercise of last time. The voice who said ‘be careful now, don’t stamp to hard, otherwise you will ruin the floor of the coachingpractice’.

Even though his answer came immediate, quite intuitively, his power of reason was a bit slower. He was in tears, because up until this point he believed the voice was a part of him, of his character. The voice who would make sure he would do things the right and socially accepted way. He was confused; so he was angry at his mom and also disappointed and sad, because as a child he felt his parents and especially his mom couldn’t deal with his sexual abuse experience. That’s why he tried for decades to manage the inflicted pain and related fears and sadness by himself.

During this session he expressed his anger as a child towards his mom. While expressing the anger, again with stamping feet and wildly moving arms with his head bowed, the related sadness surfaced. Then he cried and screamed as a child who was in severe pain. Afterwards he sat down and tears rolled down his cheek. This time the tears came from a well of gratitude and love. The course of his life was already changing into the desired direction, but with processing these heavy-weighing emotions linked to saying goodbye to a voice no longer needed, his life even got a better perspective.

Would you be interested in a coaching session? Click here to read about the introduction session. For more information on Orchid of Life ~ Life Coaching, I invite you to visit my website, click here.