Keep calm and sparkle


With so many things happening on the personal front we were continuously challenged on the work front. The past four years haven’t been easy with a burnout husband. Even though he still has this enormous headache we’re slowly crawling our ways up to a ‘normal’ living. A normal living would of course be when he is 100% healthy, but since we can’t plan the date of him being fully recovered, we do our best in our own pace.

We have dreams, big dreams. Dreams in which all of you are included. We strive for a healthy and happy living; mentally, physically and spiritually. Tonight at dinner he told me about someone who inspires him. Someone who trains people to get to know their true voice. He was impressed by his training method and thought he could do something similar; freeing people from their blockages. In his case it would be by moving. His thinking and brainstorming about the topic brought him to his moving core: his free flow capoeira method. A method which can make people of all ages enjoy moving, like they enjoyed moving when they were a child. Teaching people how to enjoy moving and playing around is only one of his dreams.

The thoughts I shared with him were about the ebook I’m writing on anger: how to deal with anger when you’re a highly sensitive person. The writing went well, my mind was crystal clear and that was exactly what I needed to fill the gaps. Now I realize I didn’t share my thoughts on workshops. Thoughts come and go like that. This morning I received two more sign-ups for a workshop I organized on emotion management for highly sensitive people in Utrecht. I was so happy that I started daydreaming instantly about organizing a workshop with a friend of mine. A friend who works as a psychologist and with whom I studied neuro linguistic programming. I saw myself having fun with her while brainstorming about different workshop topics.

At the moment she is super busy so I need to tame my enthusiasm. And that’s good, it’s good to keep my focus. Focus helps to finalize our current projects. Let’s stay calm and sparkle on this road called love.


List a 100 Things you Like!

One of the objectives of coaching is to help you shift your focus to positive things in life. A good exercise is to challenge yourself and list a 100 things you like. What?! A 100 things? Yes, you understood it correctly. I challenge you to see all the positive things in your life. Just as I will challenge myself as you can see further down the line.

Make yourself comfortable either behind your computer or at a table with your pen and a piece of paper. Gather your own inventory of 100 things that you love or make you happy. What do you love about you? Note attributes you like in the people you interact with throughout your day. What do you like about your current job or where you live. Think about moments which brought a smile on your face. What are your favorite things to do? What are the simple pleasures in life that bring you joy? These are all clues to what’s important to you and what you’re passionate about. Ask yourself, what are more ways that I can invite love in to my life? And notice what shifts in your life.

Let’s see what I like, I like…
1. food in general & healthy food
2. to cook & dance at the same time
3. dance salsa
4. get to know people
5. creating my own workspace
6. a walk on the beach
7. meditate
8. have a coffee with friends
9. brainstorm about concepts
10. coaching (off course)
11. being inspired
12. playing capoeira
13. learing to play Brasilian instruments
14. learning languages
15. Spanish culture
16. to discover new places around the world
17. baking healthy pancakes with the love of my life
18. magazines, books, newspapers
19. internet
20. walking in my neighbourhood on a quit Sunday morning
21. being outside
22. exercising, doing some fitness
23. helping my family
24. talking to my mother -in-law
25. organising dinnerparties with Luit
26. a clean house
27. going out for dinner, but cooking @ home is just as fun
28. watching pictures
29. cuddling a baby
30. to watch cats
31.  to inspire others
32.  the innocence of little children
33.  my eyes, I have the eyes of my father
34.  the curls of the love of my life
35.  living close to the beach
36.  visiting friends in other countries
37.  speaking Spanish, more than I like speaking in English
38.  reading a mail from a dear friend whom I haven’t seen for a while
39.  giving presentations & workshops
40.  sitting on the edge of the boulevard watching the sea
41.  I used to dislike my knees, but know I like them
42.  writing in my diary
43.  learning to dance the samba which is tiring when you do it in the right way
44.  taking pictures & film
45.  watching movies
46.  going to a museum
47.  discover new spots in the city I live
48.  reiki
49.  Tibetan philosophy
50.  Taoism
51.  doing yoga in the morning
52.  teaching aerobics, spinning, streetdance, steps
53.  my grandfathers stories
54.  watching my mom grow personally
55.  listen to different kinds of music in different languages
56.  professional networking
57.  speaking to everyone on the streets
58.  my lucky number 8
59.  my Chinese background
60.  eating with chopsticks
61.  waking up well rested
62.  to see kindness in people
63.  promoting my blogs
64.  when my blogs are read
65.  I especially like the Turkish pizza just a 5 min. walk away from our home
66.  I like talking to people in aerplanes
67.  travelling on my own
68.  food made by my mom
69.  doing groceries on the Hague Market with the love of my life
70.  to experience that my coachingskills keep improving
71.   connect people to each other
72.  colours of nature in Chili, Bolivia and Peru
73.  sound of the sea
74.  pictures taken by my sister; recently I was deeply touched by a family picture
75.  sunlight shining through the window
76.  watching it snow outside when I am warm inside
77.  my gift of freedom
78.  to paint
79.  people sending me fortune (love) cookies from all over the world
80.  learning more and more about different coachingtechniques I can use
81.  our orange lounge seets
82.  Orchids
83.  comedy shows
84.  sound of silence
85.  my 11 year old Adidas sneakers
86.  getting to know the family of my fathers side
87.  to grab opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life
88.  marry & have children with the love of my life
89.  to interview people about love
90.  to start writing books which people will keep on their bookshelves for life
91.   I like to finish this list of a 100 things I like 🙂
92.  unexpected acts of love
93.  dance on bachata @ home alone
94.  express my emotions
95.  make people feel welcome
96.  laugh out loud
97.  people who really made a difference in the world
98.  taking care of my loved ones
99.  the space in between you and me
100. following my heart, dreams and tunes in life

Coaching on positive thinking, take a look on: Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching.

Coachee Mrieke: Dream your highest dreams for they will come true.

‘ Dream you highest dreams for they will come true’. This is what Mrieke said after having finished a coachingtraject with me. I will share with you parts of her personal development process with her permission. Mrieke is 30 and works as a teacher in Biology. Her last coaching homework was to write a letter from out of the future to her 10 year younger self. In this letter the 40 year old Mrieke gives advice to her younger self on how to live her life best. Below you can read parts of this letter:
I know that you are suffering daily from the pressure of achieving something. Pressure to make the right choices and even pressure to enjoy things. I know you feel paralysed in your body, in your choices and in your work. I know you have doubts about what you are doing on a daily basis and I know that you ask yourself if you need to make a career switch.…..’

Further I would like to tell you that you dream to low. Dream your highest dreams for the will come true!
I wish you the best wishes ever,
M’rieke who is now 40 years young…
Written by Mrieke Ninaber van Eijben (Dutch, 2008). When you read Dutch you can read her poems on Nachtorchis.
You are a wonderful person to coach -Chungmei
Off course I know this, because I was you, 10 years ago.’ …….
First of all I would like to start to tell you how wise you are and what you already know and are able to do. You are terribly sweet, impatient, funny, appear energetic to everyone you know, enthusiastic and you are full with initiatives. You are extraordinarily creative and you have lots of ideas, but you don’t know how to make your ideas reality. You think you don’t have the patience and perseverance to do this, but actually you are an inspiration for many people. You feel guilty and this is a part of you. You know this feeling al your life. It is very deep rooted and it is there all the time. You feel guilty when you eat fries: that is not healthy. You feel guilty when you don’t do anything and when you are NOT cleaning the bathroom. It is funny that even ‘doing nothing’ makes you feel guilty. The whole time you feel your limitations. If you had this, if you would do that, then you can do what you really want to do. And off course this is rubbish. In fact it is about that you row with the peddles you have got. You are rowing and that is everything that matters.
Guilt and limitations are the keywords of your power. You will see what this power has got for you when you admit that these are the key words. Tell out loud that you feel guilty and speak out your guilt. Speak out loud that you feel limited and give space to these limitations. You will see that they won’t keep dominating your life and are not able to limit you. When you speak it out loud then people will come and help you. It will show you that you can perceive your limitations as challenges. And it will help you to row.’ ………  

 ……..Be down-hearted when you feel down-hearted and feel your sadness, anger, guilt etcetera, because this is the truth. When you don’t face your feelings then you are denying yourself. Don’t expect everything from everyone else, but stand up and show your expertise! Go after what you are good at when you feel you can. Show that you can fail, but meet your challenges! Show a new initiative every day, even though you think you ‘know’ that you won’t succeed. Don’t get demotivated by others. People perceive the things differently then you do and you perceive them as they are to you. And your experience counts! Only in the last case or when it resonates with what you feel then you accept the things people say. You have already lost so much, because others knew what was best for you. Don’t let them take away your dreams.