Activate Your Inner Wisdom with dr. Shefali Tsabary

Hello there, how are you doing? I hope Summer has treated you well. This Summer was fantastic. In the Netherlands we vacate for six weeks. The first and the fourth week I took off to a camping site and wandered and recharged in nature. During the rest of the weeks I was working half of the week. In the last week my mind was still a bit vague and I totally forgot to let a client know where the session would take place. In The Hague there are two locations where I work. He forgave me quickly for which I was thankful. 

This new season just started and I feel blessed to have welcomed so many amazing and impressive life stories. Some people are so strong and whatever happens their light and inner power remains. It’s incredible. But the thing is, they want to rest, they don’t want to fight no more. They want to live from their inner power instead of their willpower. This is the process I guide by coaching and breathing sessions. Whenever a person reclaims their inner fire and power they start to embrace and see themselves as love. From this point of view many positive changes can occur. 

Some weeks ago I discovered the work of dr. Shefali Tsabary. She is a well-know psychologist who is getting out there to talk about her mission: that children are whole and that the parents are broken. Not the children need fixing, but the parents need to take a deep dive into their inner world to avoid projecting their trauma’s onto their children. The past weeks I’ve downloaded many podcasts in which she is interviewed about this parenting work. Next to this mission she is also on a mission to speak to woman to activate their inner wisdom. I’ve watched this video and I will watch it again, because I want to chew on the meaning of the words she shares. 

Her words affirmed the path that I’ve chosen to walk. The path to Emotional Freedom. I fully agree with her that we have the right to choose for how we want to feel in every situation that comes our way. This sounds much easier than when one practises it in real life, but it is definitely worth the try. I’m sharing her video with the intent to light your path. Perhaps it resonates with the life challenges that you are dealing with right now. 

For now, take good care of yourself! 

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei

Be who you are, not who the world wants you to be

Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing: http://www.orchidoflife.nl/home_en/

More information about the introduction session, click here…

Still feeling stuck? Breathe!

People are coming to breath. Even with this hot summer weather! They are motivated because they have longed for a truer, healthier and stronger connection with their body for so many years. Up until now they have lived with stress, they have dealt with stress in so many different ways, but the stress keeps surfacing from within. And that is exactly where you need to travel to. This time you don’t have to pack your suitcase or backpack. Jump into some comfy clothes and bring a towel.

Let’s deal with the stress for real.

Meaning: start breathing in a conscious connected way to get in touch with all the underlying tensions which are caused by unprocessed emotions related to trauma.

Before people come to breath they have fueled their minds with knowledge in relationship to work and their personal development. They have received mental and physical help, but still feel stuck in different limiting mental and emotional loops meanwhile suffering physical aches which by now they are certain that it doesn’t have a physical root cause.

What I’ve seen and experienced myself and guiding clients is that unprocessed heavy hearted emotions has a negative impact on the body, mind and soul.

The impact on the mind is most obvious in terms of not being able to think clearly, negative thoughts and less mental capacity than you were used to having. The impact on the body can express itself in not being able to get enough sleep, a twitching eyelid, being short-breathed, typical aches around the neck, shoulders and lower back and so on and so forth. The impact on the soul comes around with feelings of being lost, of having no direction, feeling empty and lonely.

In my view on healing we all should start breathing in a conscious connected way. It it brings you back to where you are supposed to be and from where you are supposed to be living.

People who feel lonely start opening up for connection with people when they have reclaimed the natural connection with their bodies.

People who are suffering from physical aches and tension in their bodies learn to release the physical tension through sounds. By expressing sounds they embrace their voice and give sound to their sadness, fear and anger.

And whenever a negative mind starts to rule your life, you should stand up to it and say no to the negative thoughts whirling around in your head and say yes to change, space, positivity and life energy through nature, smiles, hugs and where your curiosity leads you to.

Do you feel lost? Lonely? 
Are you recovery from a burnout?
Are you scared to reach out and connect?

Start connecting with your body and witness how life takes you on a spin or a stroll in the park where you start enjoying life step by step, breath by breath.

You are also welcome for a videocall session via whatsapp, videoskype or facetime.

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei

More information about the introduction session, click here…

Discover and embrace your “wild”

While I was watching this interview I caught myself several times nodding affirmatively and gleaming. Glennon Doyle is sharing her truth and I fully agree on what she says about following your heart’s desire, motherhood and rediscovering the “you”, you have always been.

This interview starts off with a beautiful and touching metaphor about a cheetah who was born in a safari park. The cheetah was tamed to entertain  the visitors, but away from the zoo keeper and the visitors in her own space she turned wild again. Her energy got stronger and it lifted her being, her senses. She had never been in the wild, but the wild is inside her. 

During my first session with a new client I shared this story. Her breathing was hampering while she filled me in on her health, work and recent family encounters. I asked about her cultural background. She was adopted and from the beginning she felt different. Her roots were in Colombia, but she grew up in a Dutch family. While she took in the story about the cheetah she was nodding in a non-emotional, but strong affirmative way. From here onwards she felt more comfortable and took more time to breathe in and out while sharing her emotional journey. 

I will not stay, not ever again, in a room or conversation or relationship or institution that requires me to abandon myself. When my body tells me the truth, I’ll believe it. I trust myself now, so I will no longer suffer voluntarily or silently or for long. ~ Glennon Doyle

With Com-Passion,

Chungmei Cheng

Website: Orchid of Life 

HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

 

Express anger to create space to feel love, compassion and inner peace

Somehow my coaching & rebirthing practice has theme weeks. This week it was all about emerging anger.

Clients were telling me stories filled with uncovered anger and I grabbed it with both hands. I laid out for them how connecting with anger in order to express it can diminish fear, even to the point that fear evaporates.

I just finished a session with a client who I guided with social panorama. This technique is based on neuro linguistic programming and similar to family constellations but with the difference that it’s only based on your emotional imaginary map and the presence of others is not needed.

This technique is very effective to create emotional change within all relationships. This week I’ve seen clients expressing their anger towards a bullying older sister, an emotional distant parent and inauthentic parent.

Expressing anger in a safe environment lowers stress levels caused by fear and creates space to feel more love, compassion and inner peace.

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life?

Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

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Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

Thank you for having been in my life

This week, out of nowhere, the following phrase popped up: Grown-ups who for whatever reason were quiet as a kid: write your BOOK, you have so much to share with the world. Same goes for me. I will do so when the time is ripe or when I feel I can grasp that momentum.

For now I would like to share tiny stories with you.

This week is Spring holidays and most of the week I’m with my kids doing all kinds of fun stuff. Work is also a part of this week. Mourning as well ánd processing trauma’s. But let’s live the unwinding and recharging part first. I’m a great fan of Mary Poppins and psyched about the new release. I’ve seen the original version a coupe of times with my daughter which absolutely dazzled her imagination. The sequel was amazingly magical. We’ve seen it together with a friend of hers.

Parallel to this my thoughts go to my uncle who is dying. He finds himself in the last stage. Last weekend I went up and down two times to where he resides. During the first visit I only meditated for him. I wanted to support him with words, but I couldn’t.

The second trip was spontaneous, because suddenly I realized what I wanted to share with him to support his passing. And this was damn hard. It was hard to see him suffer. For the first five minutes I held his arm and I couldn’t say a thing. A very nice lady, a volunteer came in the room and said she was there for me if I needed her.

I made use of this opportunity and sat down with her for a few minutes in the hallway. She said: “It’s normal. It’s a lot to take in and when you get emotional, words leave.”

When I went back in I knew exactly what to say. This was the first time that I experienced the passing of a loved one in such a conscious way. I was able to say goodbye in my own way. Next to the words I shared I meditated and communicated with him through the images of memories I have of him. More and more details appeared in the images and the inner smile I felt appeared on my face. When I left I told him I would go home and that he would too.

He passed away on Wednesday 27th of March at 7.02am. Thank you for having been in my life dear uncle.

Photo by @ouxu

My 10 Year Challenge 2009/2019

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2009/2019 ♥️ 

In 2009 I was one year into my fulltime coaching practice. During fall that year I got pregnant and @arnoldbalde got into a burnout. We were together for 2 years and after two years of mourning about my father and grandfather we found ourselves in another huge challenge. 

We took the challenge. It has been hard, but the unconditional love we feel for each other has gotten us through these years. However it’s almost unimaginable, but we did laugh a lot. We cried and laughed a lot. 

We have received two beautiful human beings in our lives. (2010 & 2016) We are surrounded by beautiful people. We are greatful. The spiritual and emotional growth continues… 

Now, from the perspective of unconditional love we have reached the highest of high. Letting go of all pain: sadness, anger and fear that was in between us. The path continues. We strive for a loving life in which we both are given the freedom to grow into the souls we are. 

I thank you @arnoldbalde for the woman I am today. From now onwards I ask for what I need to continue growing into the person I am. 

#10yearchallenge #soul #soulmates #unconditionallove ♥️

The healer you have been looking for is your own courage

Whenever I guide sessions I witness so much emotional growth in people. I feel energized and excited to work on next steps in all I do and share on social media.

Let’s share our sensitivity, our vulnerability, because it’s a gift and our strength.

Today a client of mine thanked me for having written a piece on her emotional development. She saw it passing by on the facebook page high sensitivity and intuition. While she was reading it she was struck by recognition: it was about her development! And then the amazing thing happened. She felt empowered.

Shortly after having read the blog they had their neighbours over for a visit and she talked about her emotional growth and mentioned my name and work. She wouldn’t have done that normally as the introverted person she is, but she felt so happy and strong.

The next courageous thing she did was tell her mom about the blog. Her mom wanted to read it and while doing so my client was doing all kinds of stuff to calm her nerves. She was afraid for her mom’s reaction. Her mom was impressed and happy for her. What a relief! For years she has battled her fears, but now she finally surrendered and is working through the fears. My client was so happy with my blog, because for once she didn’t have to explain what she was going through.

She had also passed on the good news about her mental health to her general practitioner who once had to hold her in his arms, because she came over with a panic attack. The general practitioner asked for my name and work. How awesome is that!!

This is one of the aims I’m working on. I want to share my work with mental and physical practitioners working in health care. Slowly but steadily I’m working in growing my network in order to get everyone BREATHING.

And thanks to my lovely and very much appreciated clients I feel the flow of life, my mission and vision getting carried out in an effortless way. Yeah!

Get to know my work: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and beyond 

Awake my soul

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*Awake my soul*

This happened indeed to a highly sensitive lady who came in for her 14th coaching & rebirthing session. She felt her willpower and even though she had the fear of fainting her willpower to get rid of her fears and obsessions was far bigger. She continued doing the conscious connected breathing and lots of restlessness was expressed through movements of the body.

On top of that we had awaken her soul. She heard the powerful sound of her voice for the first time. In her words: ‘My chest didn’t hurt anymore while I expressed my voice.’ During the previous session she went through a deep rooted fear; her body was restless, inhaling was difficult and she thought she would faint. In such a situation I intervene with making sounds and she followed. She connected with the pain. I held her hand and she pinched me hard.

The weeks before this session she felt emotional numb, very tired and only wanting to crawl up below her blankets. After this session she needed a week to recover including symptoms of a cold, but when she walked in for her 14th session I saw a different person.

In her daily life she is standing up for herself, she expresses her needs and gets back remarks of being too feisty and that she needs to hold herself down. She doesn’t agree. Finally she knows she is able to recover from her fears, panic attacks and obsessions. She will continue until she can fully trust and embrace her own being.

Chapeau!!

For more information about my work, I invite you to visit my website

Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

HSP: set yourself free from self-criticism

What I’ve noticed is that self-criticism is something you can hide for a long time. You can manage in the world, you can work your way to the top (your top) and everyone believes and perceives you as a person who has it all and who has nothing to worry about. False!

Self-criticism goes hand in hand with shame and lots of it. When you constantly believe you’re not doing it right, you are dumb or look terrible you work hard to not show anything of this to the people around you. Shame is an emotion which keeps you from sharing your true feelings and thoughts. You keep up this attitude in life which saves you of showing your vulnerability. You keep up your mask.

People who criticise themselves are ambitious and hard workers. They don’t feel their mental, emotional and physical bounderies. They are superman or woman. They fail (especially in their own eyes), they climb up, they disappoint themselves and this circle continues. Even though milestones are achieved, they don’t feel proud of themselves.

And this my friend is such a waste. When I speak of this I have a part of the highly sensitive people in mind whom I coach & rebirth. They are the sweetest, most loving and intelligent souls, but they don’t receive themselves as such.

Let’s turn this around. You are much more than than how that ugly and awful voice thinks you are and speaks to you. If this piece of writing resonates with you feel free to contact me and let’s start a journey which will set you free from self-criticism.

Warm regards,

Chungmei

HSP: how to get unstuck. 3 Tips!

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Today’s session with a highly sensitive young woman inspired me to share the following tips on how to get unstuck on a physical, mental and emotional level. I pointed out the physical level first, because this lady experiences that feeling of being stuck through her body. It feels like she is floating above the ground, her head is full, loss of concentration and finding herself in a social setting getting all nervous and insecure. Actually it was her asking me after a coaching and rebirthing session: ‘Can you tell me how to get unstuck when life brings me to this uncomfortable physical state again?’

I shared the following with her:

1. Cry

2. Take a shower or a bath

3. Sit in front of a fire

That feeling of being stuck comes from energy which is whirling inside of your system, but the energy can’t find a way out. You need to help that energy to get out of your system; your head, your body. That energy could be sadness, anger and fear (or a good mix) that you are holding onto, because you’ve never learnt how to express and let go of these emotions.

Cry
Well, first of all, what I’ve learned in my coaching practice is that many highly sensitive people find it difficult to cry. Even when they are at home alone. It could be out of shame of being heard or having to acknowledge that something or someone touched you. It could be out of fear, because you don’t know what will appear next when you actually start crying. Panic, hysteria, powerlessness, loneliness. I know one cool fact on fear: it’s not real. (not when you are standing in front of someone who is about to hit you, but the fear which tortures the mind)

Even when you think you don’t cry easily, there could be moments that you feel comfortable and safe enough to do so. For example when you are watching a movie that really gets to you or a song or while reading a passage in a book. Perhaps you have a partner or a dear friend in which you confide. When you feel stuck, reach out to what works for you so you can give that energy a little push to leave your system.

Apart from other people’s emotions, your own, energy from the land and buildings, highly sensitive people are moved by so many things such as beauty, arts, kindness. Feel your emotions and let your voice be heard. Keep the energy moving!

Take a shower or a bath
Lots of highly sensitive people pick up and absorb different emotions and energies, but somehow they are living their lives from out of their heads; planning, organising, thinking about what to do next. Residing mostly in your head instead of your body signals that most likely you are driven by fear. A question which pops up along these lines is: ‘What do I feel?’

Root of this problem is to be found in what trauma’s highly sensitive people have been through. One of the family dynamics that could be the cause of how troubled you feel now about what you feel versus what others feel is the following situation.

When you are a child you need parental guidance to feel what is yours and what is theirs. When parents are going through their own issues and matrimonial issues this puts a huge weight on the shoulders of the most sensitive child in the family. This child is conscious of the tension and stands up to help out, guide their parents or sisters and brothers. While the child is playing this rol of mediator he or she won’t have enough space to develop their inner emotional world. That is to say: they are always on the look out for what needs to be done instead of feeling how they are wounded by the family problems.

Being on the look out is simply being afraid of what’s next. What fight, discussion will arise? I know I took a deep dive in psycho land by sharing this with you, but this is how it is. On a daily basis we might not know why we feel stuck, but taking a trip down memory lane will give you answers. But to keep my tip low profile, when you feel stuck, but you can’t put your finger on it, then I would like to encourage you to take a shower or a bath. It cleanses your energetic body, it brings you back in your body, back in the now. If you need several showers or baths in one day, just do it.

Sit in front of a fire
Same goes for sitting in front of a fire. The fire cleanses your energetic body. Moreover it calms down your mind. Just simply stare at the flames and you will feel the effect. If you don’t have a fire in the house, you could buy a bunch of candles. Put these close to each other and let these flames do the work. If you’re lucky to own a garden or have friends with gardens you could buy a fire pit and make a fire outside.

Of course there are many other ways to get unstuck: get out of the house to get fresh air and take a long walk, write, manual work, sports, yoga, massage, crafts, meditate and simply sit down and breathe. In this blog I’ve put forward ‘crying, taking a shower or a bath and sit in front of a fire’ because up until now people I guide in my coaching practice were so happy to receive them. I hope these tips will work for you too.

Website: Orchid of Life ~ HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

Are you curious to what a coaching & rebirthing session can do for you? Make an appointment for an introduction session. Click here for more information.