Life Coaching: becoming the person you are

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Photo by Hans Jongman

This morning I had an overseas WhatsApp call. It was a short and powerful conversation. It was about the process of unbecoming, about discovering one’s own energy. It was about the body screaming out being happy of breathing in fresh oxygen, life energy. The process of becoming the person you are is an emotionally heavy and uplifting one. When the person is absolutely convinced of the emotional process guiding him towards his inner self than there is a lot of courage and trust to process emotions such as deep-rooted fear, anger and sadness. And you need courage. Lots of it.

Especially when you’re alone in a country far away from your family and friends. This status quo is exactly the one which will help you distinguish your parent’s energy from yours. It this the voice of my mom or my father? What do I want? What do I feel? When you haven’t felt yourself for years, that feeling of your own energy pops up in unexpected ways. It will feel awesome. Surprising at first, but awesome. After the first feelings of amazement you definitely should embrace it with open arms. Hold it, cherish it, it’s your own energy. Fantastic.

Let the pain surface so joy can replace it.

Do you need guidance with your current emotional matters? Experience your first life coaching session, click here for more information and to book your session. 

Rebirthing: release yourself from cold energy

Are you always cold? Or do you often have cold hands and feet? If so, one way to feel comfortable in your skin again is to start rebirthing. Rebirthing is breaththerapy to release pain from trauma’s. Pain as in heavy hearted emotions such as sadness, anger and fear. People who suffer from being cold all the time could still be walking around with unresolved emotional issues. My experience is that people even get colder up until they need to shiver during a rebirthing session.

And there they are, laying on a air mattress, covered in fleece blankets trying to focus on the conscious connected breathing. The coldness which was already in the body comes to the surface together with other physical expressions such as cramp in the face, arms and/ or legs, pressure on the chest and palpitations in the neck. While the cold energy stands for fear related to trauma’s also the fear of feeling all these physical expressions might arise. The combination of how the body reacts and how the mind reacts while breathing on reaches the point that the rebirthee is not able to handle anymore. When I see this happening I support and motivate them to express what they feel.

For the rebirthee it is hard to make this switch towards expressing their feelings, because up until this point they held on to their fears, they controlled their life by the actions and choices they made out of fear. While feeling the fear during a rebirthing session you are letting go of the need to control. In fact you don’t have any energy to control, it’s such a strong energy that takes up all your attention. Moreover it’s an energy you want to express in stead of holding onto forever.

When I see the palpitations leave the neck area the rebirthee has already cried a bit. After a good cry you’re left with a body shaken and stirred by lots of energy finding a way out your body, mind and energy body. It’s wonderful to see how relieved people are. After having shared the initial shock of feeling so much in their body, they are calmer compared to how they walked in. Many people aren’t aware of how tense they are until they actually start feeling their bodies. How about you? How do you feel? Would you like to feel more connected to your body? In my opinion, rebirthing is key to a healthy emotional life. Let’s start breathing.

Would you be interested in a coaching session? Click here to read about the introduction session. 

Rebirthing: clearing emotional blocks in body and mind

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Rebirthing is a simple breathing technique that can transform your body, mind, spirit, as well as your perception of who you were, who you are, and who you will be. It releases emotional, mental and physical patterns; creates joy and aliveness in the body; and gives the client a feeling of empowerment and self-control, and creates energetic relaxation. The breathwork process releases the emotional, negative charge out of cell memory. The process causes integration of unresolved emotional, physical, mental and spiritual energies.  The primary result is an experience of clarity at a very core level. The process empowers a person into choice and out of victimhood.

Rebirthing is also reffered to as Conscious Connected Breathing (CCB). CCB goes as follows: while breathing we connect inhalation with exhalation and exhalation with inhalation, in doing so we create a circular motion of breath. Rebirthing is not a mind therapy, it works on an emotional level. Different people react in different ways. The conscious connected breathing releases built up tensions in your body.

Often people who come to me have been in therapy for many years. Therapy is great, it’s great to realize where your blocks are, it’s great to be able to pinpoint them. But no matter how much you realize, you understand, accept, and rationalize, the blocks are still there.

Blocks exist on deep emotional levels, they are often carried in the heart center, in the throat (communication) center, perhaps in the stomach (emotions) center. Rebirthing is a powerful technique used to clear blocks. In a rebirthing session, which lasts about 1 1/4 hour, you have the opportunity to clear completely all the negative patterns that you’ve built up over years; the fear of not feeling good enough, the destructive patterns, the behaviors that you’ve built up over time.

Your body and mind were like a sponge and finally they experience the opportunity to clear and release everything. You literally awaken the body by conscious connected breathing, all psysical reactions built up in the body and mind caused by trauma find a way out. You will be able to express emotions and tensions during the session and in doing so you grow on an emotional level. You will regain your inner strength; the place where joy, abundance and unconditional love resides.

You will see a most distinctive difference. How does it manifest? With feeling of freedom, security, the loss of fear, pain, the real determination, the knowledge that you are going to get through anything and everything, a new peace within yourself, a new hope, feelings of being in control, in touch with the powerful part of yourself, and most certainly increased awareness of creativity and sensitivity.

In case you’re interested in a rebirthing session I invite you to my website for more information about my work: Orchid of Life ~ Life Coaching 

Rebirthing: using life energy to regain health

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Rebirthing is a simple breathing technique that can transform your body, mind, spirit, as well as your perception of who you were, who you are, and who you will be. It releases emotional, mental and physical patterns; creates joy and aliveness in the body; and gives the client a feeling of empowerment and self-control, and creates energetic relaxation. The breath work process releases the emotional, negative charge out of cell memory. The process causes integration of unresolved emotional, physical, mental and spiritual energies.  The primary result is an experience of clarity at a very core level. The process empowers a person into choice and out of victimhood.

Rebirthing is also reffered to as Conscious Connected Breathing (CCB). CCB goes as follows: while breathing we connect inhalation with exhalation and exhalation with inhalation, in doing so we create a circular motion of breath. While inhaling we inhale life energy. We need life energy to feed our cells and soul. Rebirthing is not a mind therapy, it works on an emotional level. Different people react in different ways. The conscious connected breathing releases built up tensions in your body.

Think of psychical reactions such as: feeling cold or the opposite; super hot like fire, sweaty hands, pressure on the forehead, tension in the throat, chest or stomach center, a tingling sensation in arms, legs, face or just about everywhere, itching and the sensation of wanting to curl your feet up or move your knees from side to side. Along with the psychical reactions different emotions may surface: sadness, anger, fear, guilt, loneliness and so on. It does not matter how you react, what matters is that the process works and works very quickly and thoroughly.

Releasing physical reactions of the body which are related to trauma will help you regain your health. I’ve guided people who were used to living with physical pains, depression, lots of stress, breathing problems such as asthma and hyperventilation or were either abusing themselves by overeating, drinking problems, smoking.

After the session

The breathing work takes you to a place in which you can work and feel through emotions on a subconscious level. At the same time I make sure you’re still here with me, we communicate in a way which supports your emotional growth. You will feel trust and strength to move on breathing, because it’s the way to emotional freedom. You do not leave the session without being totally back in the here and now. You won’t feel disconnected or spaced out in any way. I always recommend that people do whatever feels right for them, that they pamper, indulge, and look after the inner child, because it is your emotional self who has expressed deep rooted emotions. That night, and perhaps over the next three days, you may have interesting dreams, things that come up from the past, past memories. It’s helpful to write these down for the follow up session.

Within seven to ten days, everything has settled. You should then be totally able to know how you were before the rebirthing experience and how you are afterwards, and you will see a most distinctive difference. How does it manifest? With feeling of freedom, security, the loss of fear, pain, the real determination, the knowledge that you are going to get through anything and everything, a new peace within yourself, a new hope, feelings of being in control, in touch with the powerful part of yourself, and most certainly increased awareness of creativity and sensitivity.

In case you’re interested in a rebirthing session I invite you to my website for more information about my work: Orchid of Life ~ Life Coaching 

14 Characteristics of highly sensitive people

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As you might have read in the blog ‘HSP: Let the pain surface so joy can replace the freed space’; in 2011 I decided to put myself forward as a coach for highly sensitive people. It took me 11 years to realize this fully. In the year 2000 I read the book ‘The Highly Sensitive Child’ written by Elaine N. Aron. In 2008 I was conscious of the fact that the people I coach were a lot like me: caring, creative, intuitive and with soft and loving souls. Below you can read through more of the characteristics of highly sensitive people:

1. Have great imagination
2. Have great intellectual abilities
3. Are creative
4. Have a curious mind
5. Are hard workers
6. Are good problem solvers
7. Are extremely conscious and compassionate
8. Are intuitive, caring and spiritual
9. Have a strong sense of aesthetic awareness
10. Respect nature, art and music greatly
11. Have profound and intense sensations
12. Can access important information from the unconscious mind
13. Have a depth of understanding and feelings
14. Are objective and can see the bigger picture

Also read this article on the “16 Habits of Highly Sensitive People”.

Love: writing letters

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As a child I wrote lots of letters. We were on the move. Leaving behind friends at the age of 8 and 14 made me write letters to keep in touch with friends. I used to keep all letters neatly in lots of shoeboxes. But life continued, we lost contact, we weren’t friends anymore. At this point I decided to throw away most of the letters. I kept the ones which touched my heart deeply.

A few weeks ago, at age 36, I picked up this almost long-forgotten letter writing. I’ve already written a few letters. I must admit I absolutely enjoy the act of hand-writing as opposed to typing on a laptop. I take more time to think about the things I would like to share. The stories are more to the point with here and there a wink of the eye whilst typing makes me share loads of details.

Moreover the act of hand-writing gives me the pleasure to choose paper and a envelop which could elevate the receivers mood. Seeing the possible colors and drawings and feeling what could match with the person I’m writing to definitely elevates mine!

In this age of immediate contact via different social media channels I would like to recommend hand-writing to you. I remember the joy of receiving a card or letter when I was young. I also remember the joy of knowing that someone I love would receive a part of my life. A third aspect would be the fleeting moments thinking about when my friend would write back. All these feelings are unchanged after all these years of not writing. I feel the same enjoyment of writing and all feelings related to being in touch with a beloved one.

Only the big difference nowadays is that I receive my “reply’s” via whatsapp and Facebook messenger. Haha, no going back to the good old days. The only person who understands me is my great grandmother who will turn 90 years this year. She hasn’t responded yet. I love waiting for our next moment of being in touch.

Lifecoaching: as a child I believed in magic

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For like 28 years I thought I only had one massive problem in my life: stuttering. I tried a try-out session with Life Coach Chungmei. It was interesting, she asked questions, I spoke, I did an exercise… And from out of nowhere, I started to cry! I was crying, and surprised and shocked that I was crying. This was really weird for me.

Luckily for me I kept myself busy with creating a burn – out. One year later I succeeded. My second coaching setting was a fact. I set down and she mirrored my non-verbal communication extremely sharp. Subconsciously I acted to be ready for any thing: arms wide, an ‘I am in control look’ in my eyes, and ask something like: so coach ask me a smart question?! Well, instead she told me: Well, you don’t seem ready to open up. After which she imitated my posture and look in my eyes. Do you want to be coached? Right away I felt that she didn’t fall for my act. I felt that one: my head down, arms normal, and after digesting a little bit of my fakeness, I said: yes I am ready.

Burn-out & learning to feel
What I did to burn my self out was only living in my head, not even feeling my own heart beat. During my third ‘succesful’ study, I burned out. I didn’t understand, and even less did I feel why. Chungmei guided me through this process. Some topics, in random order, we have worked on were:

  1. Why am I a perfectionist?
  2. Why do I train extremely hard?
  3. Why am I always busy?
  4. Why do I stutter?
  5. How come I don’t feel my body?
  6. What caused the burn out ?
  7. Why do I stop breathing when I think longer than 1 minute?

Answers were: I felt I was not good enough, so everything needed to be perfect. I felt a lot of surpressed emotions and had surpressed emotions myself which caused intense stress. My coping mechanism was using my head, and satisfying others and my main man Mr. Society.

This I understood after being lead through different exercises and questions no one ever asked me. With one single question she could make me feel my sadness of being so stressed. Or scared, or….unhappy. Because that’s the overal feeling: I was not happy, and was basically killing myself with thinking, studying and working. Without the burn – out to stop me, I was dead by now.

It may sound a bit extreme, but seriously she saved my life. Thank you for that. Thank you for letting go of everything that didn’t belong to me. For the first time in my life, I feel who I am, what I want to do. I became a better husband, a better person, a better father after being coached intensively by you. With better I mean more me, because that’s all there is right? I believe the best I can be is the closest to who I really am.

Now, that I write this I think of words that could describe the thankfulness that I feel in my heart. Being coached by you and feeling myself was my biggest gift after being born. It was a great pleasure being coached by someone so naturally connected with the Universe. Someone who coached so intuitively, so in the moment.

As a child I believed in magic, felt happiness in playing. Somewhere in high school I started to believe in the world of thoughts, studies, work and society. I am 32 now, and life is magic again.

By Arnold Baldé