Life Coaching: what do you really need?

After a well deserved break including loads of personal development growth it’s still possible to be blinded by fear when stepping into society again. An action directed by fear could be finding a job based on your curriculum vitae instead of believing in what you are capable of and find a job in which you would be much happier.

Don’t be too hard on yourself when you need to turn things around again. Financial stability is desirable, but if financial stability brings you in the middle of nowhere; far away of friends and family, living in a house which you don’t like and love relationship issues arising you need to stop and think again. What do you really need? How can you create an environment in which you can flourish?

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Keep calm and sparkle

sparkle

With so many things happening on the personal front we were continuously challenged on the work front. The past four years haven’t been easy with a burnout husband. Even though he still has this enormous headache we’re slowly crawling our ways up to a ‘normal’ living. A normal living would of course be when he is 100% healthy, but since we can’t plan the date of him being fully recovered, we do our best in our own pace.

We have dreams, big dreams. Dreams in which all of you are included. We strive for a healthy and happy living; mentally, physically and spiritually. Tonight at dinner he told me about someone who inspires him. Someone who trains people to get to know their true voice. He was impressed by his training method and thought he could do something similar; freeing people from their blockages. In his case it would be by moving. His thinking and brainstorming about the topic brought him to his moving core: his free flow capoeira method. A method which can make people of all ages enjoy moving, like they enjoyed moving when they were a child. Teaching people how to enjoy moving and playing around is only one of his dreams.

The thoughts I shared with him were about the ebook I’m writing on anger: how to deal with anger when you’re a highly sensitive person. The writing went well, my mind was crystal clear and that was exactly what I needed to fill the gaps. Now I realize I didn’t share my thoughts on workshops. Thoughts come and go like that. This morning I received two more sign-ups for a workshop I organized on emotion management for highly sensitive people in Utrecht. I was so happy that I started daydreaming instantly about organizing a workshop with a friend of mine. A friend who works as a psychologist and with whom I studied neuro linguistic programming. I saw myself having fun with her while brainstorming about different workshop topics.

At the moment she is super busy so I need to tame my enthusiasm. And that’s good, it’s good to keep my focus. Focus helps to finalize our current projects. Let’s stay calm and sparkle on this road called love.

True love is worth the wait

Recently I heard an amazing love story from a woman living closeby. Somehow my partner and I kept bumping up to her. She got to know us individually and later found out that we were a couple. Not long ago she walked up to the door of her flat and Arnold spotted her. I ran to the balcony and yelled her name. How are you and would you like to stop by at our place?

Keeping in mind that our talks only took place on the streets, in trams or in stores this was a very spontaneous action to get to know each other a little bit better. She stopped by for appelcake and tea. It was fun. She is a nice person. She told us about how she ended up with the man she is living with right now. When she was 12 she had a crush on him. No, she was in love with him. One glance of him would make her happy for the rest of the week. He was four years older than she was.

Twenty five years later they met each other on Hyves through a question game. (Dutch social network) She was curious after him; was he married? did he have children? or would he be single? After having answered many questions through this game he finally asked her in an indirect way if they could meet up. Over their first dinner together they could only stare at each other and both hardly had a bite of their dinner.

The little girl in her was still present when she told us that they are together for two years and exactly four months. She could never ever have dreamt that he would like her too. That he would fall for her, the guy who could make her dance on clouds with one glance. After having heard this story I knew this was one of the reasons why our walks have crossed so many times. This story had to be shared!

Take Time to Dream: my ultimate dream

dreaming

Dreaming at night takes you to places you visited, invented, a combination of both or to your own surprise you dream about images of people, places, situations and feelings unknown to you until now.

Daydreaming
The dreaming I am referring to is DAYDREAMING! When was the last time you intentionally started daydreaming about your dreamlife? About the life you are possibly already are living, but in the daydream you added some finishing touches. Or daydreaming about the life you wish you were living? If you can’t remember, start now! As an ‘experienced’ dreamer I know from firsthand that dreams come true. If only you are willing to break down the barriers to start believing in the dream, but that’s another subject. Let’s go back to actively and playfully daydreaming about your life.

My ultimate dream
I would like to share my ultimate dream with you to give you an idea about how I go about this.

My dream has been the same for several years now. Even before I met my partner. It’s quite simple if I say so myself. I picture myself in and around a lovely house surrounded by a landscape comparable to Tuscany in Italy. I love the sea, so a combination of both would be awesome. With a large wooden table covered with fresh food, great wine, water and the seats are occupied by family and friends. All children are running and playing around this table and in the garden. Together we eat, talk, sing and play (music, games, sport and so on) with each other until the sun sets. During the day I work as in coaching people, give workshops, write and visit places to be inspired. Off course I am a working mom. This means I will divide my time between work and taking care of the children.

In a way I am already living my ultimate dream. Now, together with my partner we’re working towards our dreams. We are getting there and we keep on dreaming.

Start daydreaming now
I hope you feel inspired to start daydreaming more and more. Be careful that it doesn’t take you out of the workflow of day-to-day life. Stay conscious, but add some flavour to your current life with daydreaming. Let’s say the recipe is: a few times a day for at least 2 minutes! 😉

By Chungmei Cheng

Lifecoaching in action: make up your Balance Now!

1.Health
How do you feel today? Do you eat a healthy diet? Do you exercise on a regular basis? For example: it could be that you are suffering  annoying pains, but you don’t take action to get your fysical state back to how it always has been, because of lack of time. Is it lack of time and all the deadlines you are facing or is it about setting priorities? My belief is that your health is the basis of everything what is going on in your life. Everything revolves arond YOU! And if you don’t feel up beat because of different reasons then it is time to do something about it. Be honest with yourself.

2.Relationships
Do you make time for your beloved ones, the ones who give you energy? Do you have friends or relatives who sap your energy, every time you see them? As my partner and I are both ambitious people I often tell him that we need to see our dear family and friends on a regular basis. Because of our work schedule we have to give it some more time to balance our get-togethers with family and friends. Moreover, in case of family, they live all across Holland. Yes, Holland is a small country, but the travelling surely takes up time. Furthermore, be aware of spending time with people who affect your state of mind. Is it worth spending time with them? If they are, then it is best to keep your emotional distance. Act like a Buddha! People can spit their negative thougths, but know that these emotions are theirs to keep. If we are speaking about people who don’t actually mean a lot to us, then minimize the time you spend with them or when the relationship is too horrible, make up your mind about continuing the relationship.

3.Career
Can you see yourself in the same career in five years’ time? If that thought makes you think of five long years of stress and boredom, it’s time to start researching a career change Will your current actions put you in the position you want to be in, or will they mean that you never progress from where you currently are? What you can do  when it comes down to choosing the career which will fit you best is to visualize, for example, at least 9 moments of pure happiness, and then translate these feelings to work related pillars such as people you work with, working conditions, working internationally, in contact with people or more a solitary function etc.

4.Education
Are you thinking of additional education or are you already studying next to your full-time job?
Alternatively, are you taking on so many extra credit courses that you’re risking burn-out? In our society we all want more, better and it is also part of our status. But does it really make you happy? And if you really want to take additional courses or a Master Degree make it possible for yourself to lead a ‘normal’ life along the way! Keep seeing your friends, make time for love and enjoy the time you have. I often hear people saying that it only takes up 2 years of their life. Two full years of hard work and then what? The thing is that people forget that they live now. Everything is happening now, how are you able to postpone coming across the love of your life for example? It sounds like I am a dreamer, but I know first hand that it is possible. Recently I heard that someone decided to stop taking courses in his Master Degree. After one year of full-time working and studying he got tired of everything.

5.Opportunities
Something many people regret in life is not taking advantage of the chances that they have. Are you missing out on any opportunities at the moment? Imagine that you have your future-self looking back at the life you are leading right now and telling you to sign up for that course, take that class, reach out to that potential new friend, or volunteer for that big project at work? A good place to look for the opportunities you’re missing is to think about anything you’re afraid to try, or afraid to start. Those are the things that future-self wishes you would do!

By Chungmei Cheng
Lifecoach for Orchid of Life

Living the Life of your Dreams

One of my coachees recently told me that she had a light -bulb moment in the car on her way to our coachingsession. The thought that she could live the life of her dreams and that she can do the things she likes in life popped up in her mind. Only telling me about this light -bulb moment brought tears to her eyes. Tears of happiness. She got to the point where she values herself in such a way that she can allow herself to live the life of her dreams. Beautiful!

www.jofabi.nl -animal photography

http://www.jofabi.nl -animal photography

Here comes 10 Tips to build the life of your dreams

1. There could be a voice inside you telling you, you won’t succeed. Listen to this voice. This voice might want to protect you from failing, from falling, is disappointend, maybe angry, but the voice has a positive intention. Ask the voice what his positive intention is. Make this voice your best friend!

2. Ask yourself each day, what did I learn, how did I make a difference for someone else today?

3. Establish a set of disciplines that will give you the self-esteem and energy to act on your ideas. These disciplines can be in the area of self-care i.e. exercising, sleeping and eating habits, to communication and relationships, to how you spend your spare time, to what you think about.

4. Quite literally engage life… absorb everything, be curious, seize each day, notice and respond to everything that happens. This is where your ideas, future projects and your personal opinions and philosophy come from.

5. Be open to everything which crosses your path. Accept feedback. Learn from it.

6. Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on anything else; read, listen to tapes, journal, have meaningful conversations, never stop learning.

7. Bring something extra to everything you do, whether it is bringing a positive attitude to your job, giving a little extra on a project, or going out of your way for someone else.

8. Lastly live a synchronic lifestyle. Have a vision and vision and a higher goal which resonates through your vision and mission. A goal in which you contribute to people’s and world’s health. Determine what you want, ask for it, and trust that you will get what you need. Stand back and watch what happens … it’s always interesting!