Life Coaching: looking back on 2015

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In this blog I will answer some questions to reflect on my work and development as a life coach in 2015.

How have you lived and worked in alignment with your values and vision?

Keyword I had chosen for 2015 was simply to “be”. It sounds simple, but I believe for many people it’s life biggest personal challenge to just be who you are, including for myself. As a life coach this year has been a year full of amazing emotional growth for myself, my partner and all the people I have coached. In alignment of my vision I have started giving lectures on high sensitivity. I kicked the first one of in May in The Hague and received 22 participants.

My vision is that the world will be a gentler, nicer and more fun place to live in when more and more people come to appreciate their sensitivity in stead of surpressing or neglecting it. High sensitive people have many talents, but feel quite overruled by a dominant society with high expectations. With these lectures I have shared the challenges highly sensitive people face on the workfloor and in personal relationships. Only by sharing stories of the highly sensitive people I have coached I got feedbacked that people feel supported and understood. They even experienced the lecture as uplifting, yes, of course there are ways to feel empowered to do just that what you most desire in life.

I have been working as a life coach for 12 years and I have always worked in alignment of my values. People hire me to guide them with their emotional development and in the Netherlands it’s quite unusual to invest in hiring a life coach. First option would be a psychologist. This has much to do with the costs and how my guidance isn’t covered by insurance. However I have seen my coachingpractice growing, especially people who have had sessions with a psychologist or psychotherapist found my practice and have undergone many positive changes.

One of my core values as a coach and human being is to give my best, every second that the people are in my coachingpractice. I coach with genuine interest and empathy putting their matters of the heart on the front line. My open and genuine attitide feeds the coaching relationship in which the coachee is able to blossom and let go of limiting thoughts and emotions. I have noticed that I attract more people who turn to my guidance even before turning to a psychologist. I find this positive in many ways. One of them is that people take the lead in health care; they choose their type of guidance in stead of being controlled by society and insurance policy.

What were your most valuable learnings or take-aways? My most valuable learnings were the following:

When you process anger and sadness one is able to feel loving and compassionate again by forgiving the person who angered you, but also to forgive yourself for being too hard on yourself or for not having done the right thing. This doesn’t mean the wrecked relationship will be renewded again; it means that you won’t have to go through life with resentment towards this relationship. But it is also possible to put loving energy in the relationship to see it change for the better. It all depends on how you feel.

I’ve started to use rebirthing in my coaching practice. Through this breathing technique I’ve learned a lot about how body, mind and energy works. It’s a simple technique which leads to magnificent results. People are able to free themselves from negative emotions and physical pains. People will start to feel clear-minded, strong and flexible in the body and emotional more stable.

Another valuable learning was the power of sharing my vision and mission. It empowered me to think about the high sensitivity knowledge I’ve gained throughout the years. Many people who follow my work feel supported and empowered to accept themselves fully as high sensitive people.

Where did you show self-compassion, courage, and commitment (especially in the face of challenge)?

The most challenging work I’ve done which showed self-compassion, courage and commitment was to let myself be healed by rebirthing and to be of support and guidance for my husband who has been suffering a headache for six years. It takes a lot of patience and resilience to keep out heads up. On the other hand we don’t have a choice; it’s either doing nothing which won’t change anything or putting all of our energy in getting healthy.

How did you surprise yourself?

While I was pregnant I’ve worked all the way. I had much more energy compared to my first pregnancy. I’ve only felt off-beat the first three months, afterwards hormones regulated and I could eat whatever I wanted and felt lots of energy and motivation to work.

What impact (big or small) have you made through your work?

I’ve made people express their anger, sadness, hatred, disappointment, powerlessness and helplessness to process their trauma’s such as sexual abuse, dominanting relationships with parents, divorce, being surpressed my negative emotions of family and break-ups of love relationships. After having expressed these emotions they felt empowered again, they felt empty at first, but slowly it gave them the energy to take better care for themselves, acknowledge their talents and live the life they want.

For more information on my work, I invite you to visit my website Orchid of Life ~ Life Coaching. 

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Take time to do what makes your soul happy

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Too often we run around doing things for others or we keep ourselves occupied with work, hobbies and social activities. At the end of the day or a whole week we feel exhausted. When did we take time to feed our soul? Especially highly sensitive people need their down time; time to inhale energy and exhale relaxation. One of the things you can do to feed your soul is to write down or go through your gratitude list. Here’s mine:

  1. I am grateful for having finished the 30 Day Vegan Challenge
  2. for opening up to the Vegan world and having decided to eat 80% vegan and the rest of the time everything I like to eat
  3. for walking around in a healthy and fit body
  4. for every emotion I feel
  5. for choosing for my well-being instead of feeling guilty about choosing for myself in relationship with my mom
  6. for my interest in people
  7. for my drive to heal people from their wounds
  8. for my capacity to guide people so they feel strong from the inside
  9. for my intuitivity
  10. for my writing skills
  11. for my grey hairs and especially for smiling when a friend mentioned my grey hairs
  12. for my ability to present other world views to people who need a change of perspective
  13. for feeling strong by what I eat
  14. for connecting with people in different ways: social media, on the streets, public transport
  15. for loving life dearly
  16. for talking with Amé about death
  17. for laughing out loud
  18. for enjoying books
  19. for loving to dance
  20. for sharing food with friends
  21. for organizing family gatherings
  22. for seeing things differently
  23. for feeling calm from within
  24. for shining like I do
  25. for my deep urge to change the world for the better
  26. for my desire to share and spread the word on high sensitivity
  27. for the people around me who see what I can bring
  28. for seeing and feeling what I can bring about
  29. for having been the mom that I am towards Amé
  30. for my insights
  31. for my teaching skills when it comes to children, they are so much fun, everyone wants to be seen
  32. for sharing the truth
  33. To conclude: this gratitude list is about how grateful I am to be me

HSP: Let the pain surface so joy can replace the freed space

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Let the pain surface so joy can replace it. That’s the work I guide during sessions. Not everyone is ready, but sessions can also be experienced as a mental preparation for the emotional and physical work which is ahead. Lots of people have the need to understand with their mind before they can let go of the fear to feel what has been hiding in the body for years.

As a life coach I have studied different mental techniques to guide mental and emotional shifts. After having worked almost 11 years as a life coach I have arrived at the place where my soul’s purpose and the people who resonate with my work have come together. People of all ages. It’s not about age, it has never been about age, but about me feeling secure enough to tell everyone how I can help them. When I was 26 years old there were people who judged me. I let myself be judged and decided to study more coaching techniques. This year I will turn 37 years and I am happy to share more of the work I do.

Since 2004 my vision and mission has been the same. My vision is that more and more people will hear the calling of their hearts and souls and take action upon this. My mission is to help these people to release the pain they are carrying within so it can be replaced by the joy fueled by sharing their innate talents and qualities.

In 2011 I decided to put myself forward as a coach for highly sensitive people. It took me 11 years to realize this fully. In the year 2000 I read the book ‘The Highly Sensitive Child’ written by Elaine N. Aron. In 2008 I was conscious of the fact that the people I coach were a lot like me: caring, creative, intuitive and with soft and loving souls. The following year I wrote two articles on high sensitivity for a Dutch lifestylewebmagazine. These articles were well received, but still it didn’t clicked. It took two more years and while my unconsciousness was adding up all the high sensitivity events it finally clicked in the summer of 2011; one year after the birth of my daughter who’s now almost 5 years old.

The biggest insight of my life came to me after the birth of my daughter. I was holding a precious, pure, loving and fully feeling soul and could only feel a magnificence joy and gratitude for LIFE. People are born sensitive. We loose a great deal of this sensitivity when we are surrounded by caretakers who haven’t worked through their pain, sadness and anger. These energies definitely influence the baby: while growing in the womb and the years after birth up until 6 years old are the years in which the child creates convictions about life. Is life good for them or is life dangerous and should you always be careful? Shall I show my talent or will it be criticized?

Have you experienced your portion of hurdles in life in relationship to work, love relationships and parenting? Have you arrived at crossroads with arrows pointing in many directions? Are you ready for positive change or better said: eager for life changing reflection and action? If so, I invite you to make an appointment for an introduction session.
Take a look here for the Orchid of Life Prices and Options.  Are you a Spanish native speaker? Please take a look at this blog ‘Si me siento como una persona sensible’.

Positivity: seeing the bright side of life

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Somehow, whatever happens, I always keep on seeing the bright sight of life. Two dear friends told me, shortly after another, that they experience me as a very optimistic person. ‘How do you do that?’ they asked me. ‘How do you remain optimistic when I tell you that I don’t see a way out here. I feel horrible, my life is falling apart and I can’t see this leading to a better and more positive situation. I’m hopeless.’

When friends reach out to me and share their grief and disappointment in life and most of all in themselves, I start to say things like ‘also this will pass and you will get out of this situation as a stronger and more loving person, you are a beautiful human being whose always prepared to help or assist in some way, you are worth it, it’s by taking small steps that you will reach the point where you want to be, everything takes time and you will get there for sure, look at all the things you’ve done up until now’. So yeah, it comes out like that: naturally and without thinking. I’m totally and utterly convinced that every situation will turn out for the better.

So how do I stay optimistic? It’s because of my aunt. I have a lot to thank her for. She is one of the strongest people I know and she invested a lot of time and energy in us, children; her own children and her cousins. She showed me how it could be done. Listened to me, talked to me. She let us experience the fun stuff in life in stead of only studying and working. She is the one who taught me to be resilient in any kind of situation. ‘Keep on doing what you like,’ she told me.

Flames of my heart

The dog whisking its tail, for it is sincerely happy to see me
The pouring of rays of a beautiful sunset, showering on my heart
The loving hug of a little girl smiling at me, whom I had just met
The talk with a Muslim over the aspects of life, with a brotherly heart

A kiss from my loved one, after a long time of separation
Time after time, the kiss to be as it was our first
Held back desires connecting by the touch of our lips
Enflaming the body and soul, right into the heart

Warming the hearts around by my presence and touch
The enlightened eyes of a child, when I just gave them a gift
My dear father to give me a heartful compliment on my work
The filling joy through the hands of my manifestation

A session with a successful transmission to the benefit of both
The affection of my crew, happy to be under my lead with all faith
To set out new adventures and courses for the people to sail to
The completion of a task what was said impossible to be done

I long and dream for all nations to come and stand side by side
The caring of my neighbor and the feel of support of my loved ones
The fighting for the rights of life with every breath I can take
The surrender to the world, to my loved one, coming to one whole

Tell me, what enflames your heart?
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Write your own story, read the blog Win & Write: What makes you tick?