About the 3 hour rebirthing session

There are a lot of things that get me going. One of them is today’s 3 hour rebirthing session in which a client connected to her inner child.

The child who hid her emotions for many years. The child who was raised by parents who weren’t able to give emotional guidance. The child who was frightened, sad and angry. The child who was finally able to cry passionately.

The adults body was shakened up by releasing all tension, cramps and itching by tears and trembling. After the 4th physical and emotional wave the client’s mind was clearer and eyesight was broader. Still laying on the air matress she spreaded her arms and said: I’ve grown.

It’s all about finding the calm in the chaos. That’s exactly the moment I suggest a double/ 3 hour rebirthing session. (Double, because most sessions I guide are coaching & rebirthing sessions of 1.5 hour)

The moment I invite someone for a 3 hour session is when I’ve noticed the following:

🌿 Client speaks more freely about emotional conflicts and especially mentions loyalty conflicts with parents/ family;

🌿 Client sees images of childhood memories during the breathing session;

🌿 Client is able to breath through the feeling of fear and thoughts out of fear during a breathing session;

🌿 Client experiences all types of physical symptoms in between the sessions. Emotional/energetic layers have been peelt of. For example: itching is an expression of unconsciously repressed anger;

🌿 Client opens up in written reflections by e-mail. Writing from the core pain and limiting thoughts and behaviour;

🌿 Client chose to be guided and is motivated to release him or herself from emotional burden and energetic blockages in the mind, body and soul to feel who he/she is. And the person desires to act out of love, joy and inspiration.

When the emotional chaos is at its highest calm is around the corner if you are willing to breath through it. Connect with your inner child 💚

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

#rebirthing #breathwork #healing #innerchildwork #emotionalgrowth #hsp #highlysensitiveperson #highlygifted #TheHague and beyond

Where there is fear, there is growth

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Last evening I gave my 1st guided meditation through FB Live on my Dutch fb page named high sensitivity and intuition.

It went well and I had lots of fun teaching. The fun part was only in the moment! Before and after I was nervous: I couldn’t focus on watching a movie and I shed some tears. Afterwards my stomach felt empty in a painful way. So overall it wasn’t yet a relaxing experience for me.

During the moments of tension the following thought crossed my mind a couple of times: “why am I choosing to go through all of this??” My reaction was that I needed to challenge myself, but this wasn’t leading. I couldn’t longer neglect the Call. I/ my soul was “called” upon doing this for many times. It was an idea and opportunity I had to honour. I needed to Answer The Call as Brené Brown talks about in her Netflix talk “the Call to Courage”.

My partner @arnoldbalde added to this with: “You want to grow. It’s your soul’s biggest wish. Where there is fear, there is growth.”

Breath with me?

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

On another note, the trauma note: Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

Feel the courage to act out of love

Yeah! Say that again. What I tell people during a rebirthing session:

Inhale positive energy, life energy. Inhale unconditional love, happiness and trust. Your inhalation will support, feed and connect you to your core, your soul, to feel that you may embrace all feelings. And that you deserve the life you desire.

Exhale negative energy and tension. Tension that was built up over years. Exhale anger, fear and sadness and all related emotions such as guilt, disappointment, loneliness, helplessness and even hate.

Yes, name every feeling you have, it doesn’t mean you actually hate the person or someone close to you. You disapprove of the behavior and suffer from the effect it has had or still has on your emotional body. You are in pain.

Doing the conscious connected breathing will connect you to your energetic body. The pain behind your limiting thoughts and behavior is stored in your energetic body. When the connection has been established the pain will surface in your physical body.

Then your mind will be confronted with the tension and stress in your physical body. When you feel safe enough you will be able to surrender to the sadness and other limiting emotions. When you don’t feel safe enough the body will be struggling to release the tension. That’s when I intervene with guidance. I’l help you to feel safe, to surrender.

With every tear you shed, with every scream out of anger or fear you slowly but steadily grow a healthy and loving connection with your body. Mind and body will befriend each other. The inner critic will make room for the voice which speaks out of love.

You will feel the courage to act out of love.

Breath with me?

With com-passion,

Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

If I know what love is it is because of you

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“This is the man I would do anything for: move to a deserted place, quit my job and start a new job and most of all express my love for him and don’t make him do anything he isn’t ready for.” ~ shared by a client of mine.

She asked for my guidance because she wants to embrace love relationships. She has been single for years. Every now and then she goes on a date via Tinder, but these first encounters are more tiring then uplifting to her. She wants to have a relationship with someone who can deal with his emotions, who asks about her life, who listens, who takes, even the heavier storms in life, lightly. Someone who has been positively shaped by his experiences. While she wanted all these she also had to acknowledge her own fears and they way she was holding back during these encounters. She wanted to move forward, show herself more, her real self.

She was definitely ready for a huge positive change. 

Our first meeting was a coaching session and during our second meeting I guided her through her first rebirthing session. At first she was sceptic. “How does this work? I feel happy and I am content with my working and social life. How will rebirthing sessions open me up for love relationships?”

Rebirthing sessions or conscious connected breathing sessions will help you process hidden fear, anger and sadness in the physical and energetic body in order to clear the mind from limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are fed by these destructive emotions. You will process and go through these emotions via movements of the body, showing emotions and letting your voice be heard. With every breathing session you will notice small (and bigger and bigger) changes in your body, mind and soul. The limiting beliefs and physical aches are being replaced by loving positive beliefs about yourself and the world.

After her first rebirthing session she enthusiastically told me that lots of men noticed her and gave her attention. Something within her had shifted and this was the first change she had experienced towards opening herself up for a love relationship. Fantastic!

And there was something about her which made me think of other clients I guide. Every time I have multiple experiences of people sharing the same thoughts, feelings and experiences I feel a strong urge to share it with you, dear reader.

This time I would like to describe a type of client who come to me for guidance:

  • Believing strongly in that everything is temporary which makes throwing away things easy and getting rid of old photos
  • Believing in that everything has a reason
  • Knowing that you can only love with all your heart receiving every person who is related to the man or woman you love with open arms
  • Strongwilled and strong opinions and views on life to live by
  • Thinking limits the whole spectrum of feeling and acting upon what you feel
  • Accepting and/or dealing with loved ones who have strong negative energy

Get to know my work & book your session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and beyond 

Rebirthing: free yourself from fears

This quote is especially for the people who are already familiar with my work as a rebirther.

“Everytime we sit (breath) through an urgency barrier we get a fantastic realization of self, and learn more about the subconscious program that is controlling us.” ~ Leonard Orr

During the rebirthing process you have come across these “urgency barriers”. It’s when you:

• start yawning

• fall asleep

• wanting to move away from the physical expressions that have surfaced such as cramp and restlessness in legs and arms or huge amount of tension in the face

• thinking you can’t do this

• thinking it won’t help you any further

• doubting if you are breathing in the right way

• seeing images and feeling the urge to talk about it

• fear of what comes next, of the unknown

When these urgency barriers pop up I will guide you through it so you can experience how it feels like to live in a body and mind which has released physical and mental tensions.

You will experience more calmness in your body and more piece of mind. During the breathing process I tell people that every achievement they experience on the mat will somehow be reflected in their daily lives.

Imagine how it will feel like when you conquer your fears bit by bit! That’s amazing, that’s powerful and liberating.

A toast to you, my beautiful highly sensitive friends, for being courageous enough to step into this emotional development process in order to experience life as it should be. A life in which you feel relaxed, have much more positive thoughts than negative ones and feel the confidence to start new relationships and enhance the ones you have.

Would you like to read more about rebirthing? Click here…

Are you interested in starting rebirthing sessions? See my website for more information: www.orchidoflife.nl 

Warm regards,
Chungmei Cheng
HSP Coach & Rebirther

Vipassana: Brainsurgery without anaesthetics

About four months ago I completed a 10-Day Vipassana course at the Dhamma Medini Meditation Centre, just north of Auckland in New Zealand.  I am not sure if and how much I should share with you about the course by writing this article. However, I read a lot of Vipassana reviews and stories myself and still had a completely different experience than I was expecting.  Haha, so it probably does not really matter what I write as you would probably interpret everything based on your own life experience anyway. Moreover, the beauty of the whole experience stood out for me and it really touched my heart. Therefore I could not just leave things unspoken and I hope that my story and information inspires you to go out there and see for yourself.

What is Vipassana?

That is 10 days of meditation in the meditation hall or in your private room. Wake up bell is at 4 am and the last meditation session ends at 9 pm. Breakfast, lunch and afternoon tea are provided and there is some time to rest or have a walk on the property. However, exercise in any form is not allowed. The food is completely vegetarian as no (involvement in) killing of any being is allowed. Other rules to keep the mind free from impurities are to abstain from stealing, from telling lies, from all sexual activity and from all intoxicants.

To help with these rules men and women are separated and you spend the days maintaining noble silence. That means no physical, verbal or even eye-contact with fellow meditators and servers. The only human contact you have is with the teacher during question and answer periods twice a day.  Before starting the course you have to commit to fulfilling the complete 10 days. Sounds awesome right!? I mean, who does not want to commit to an isolated 10 day meditation prison.

And what is the idea behind all this? 

In the end the goal is to become a Buddha or in other words to become ‘awake’ or to reach ‘enlightenment’.  This Dhamma, the way to liberation, was first taught by Gautama the Buddha and eventually by Mr. Goenka who spread the teachings around the world. Although Buddhists based their religion on the teachings of Gautama, it doesn’t mean that you will have to become a Buddhist to practice this technique. Gautama never intended to create a following of people separate or “more developed” than the rest of humanity. The technique he taught is universal and thus transcends all religions, sects, races, sexuality and so on.

Vipassana literally means to see things as the really are.  The theory is very simple and scientific. It all starts and ends with anicca, the universal law of nature. This law states that all things are impermanent and constantly changing. Instead of just accepting this, we tend to hold on to pleasant things and run away from unpleasant things. Through this process we create our own suffering; we crave for things we do not have and feel averted towards things we do not want to have. This reaction pattern is so deeply rooted into our minds and to change it we have to work deep within ourselves. Therefore Vipassana works at the experiential level, the level of body sensations.

The course is split into two parts. During the first 3 days of the course you work with Anapana meditation. Anapana is simply directing your attention towards the natural rhythm of your breath and the accompanying sensations. This practice has a couple of benefits and lessons for us. Since the breath is controlled by voluntary and as well as involuntary processes it functions as bridge between consciousness and unconsciousness.

Becoming conscious of an unconscious process helps you to become more aware of what is actually going on for you and your body in the present moment. You become aware of more and more subtle body sensations and of the mind-body connection.

That is, by observing the natural rhythm of the breath you realize how it is affected by impurities of the mind such as lust, fear, anger, envy or greed. Also, by trying to focus the attention on the breath you start realizing the tendency of the mind to pull you into the past or future. In short, Anapana trains the mind to be calmer and more focussed on the present reality so you can adequately practice Vipassana.

Vipassana is the real deal and it starts on the 4th day of the course. Vipassana can be seen as a very thorough and analytical study of the body. With a calm and concentrated mind you start scanning the body from top to toe and from toe to top. While scanning, the goal is to remain equanimeous. That is, observing what is without generating feelings of craving and aversion. If one manages to remain completely equanimeous while observing body sensations, no more feelings of craving of aversion are being generated.

In other words, no more conditioned responses (called saṅkhāras) are being created or reinforced. Moreover, remaining equanimeous actually provides the opportunity for old saṅkhāras dissolve. These are felt in the body as gross sensations, for example as painful, numb or throbbing sensations. Conclusively, Vipassana meditation is about developing your equanimity to dissolve all (even past-life) conditioned responses and eventually live a life free of suffering. By relieving one’s suffering, one notices that deep feelings of gratitude, love and compassion towards all of life arise naturally.

My experience.

Overall, the 10-day course was one of the most beautiful, insightful and healing things I have done in my life so far. It was also a challenge and there were times that I felt quite horrible and really dreaded the coming meditation sessions. However, in my journey, I have realised that healing and personal growth is never completely comfortable. Taking steps towards a more fulfilled, joyful and peaceful life is often quite scary and/or painful. In the Vipassana course, it was especially the physical pain that stood out for me as it was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.  On the other side the course did leave me with a more calm, present and positive mind and I can honestly say that the pain was well worth the gain. Therefore I titled this article: Vipassana: Brainsurgery without anaesthetics.

My biggest insight/transformation was regarding my aversion to pain. When we started the Vipassana meditation, I experienced an intense pain in my lower back. In spite of the pain, I managed to sit through the first three determinations sessions. In these sessions you try to meditate for one hour straight without changing your posture. Although I barely moved, the pain did not dissolve and it actually got worse.

I started experiencing feelings of despair and failure: No matter how hard I try, this backpain of mine just won’t budge.

Then, a sudden realization came to me: This is me, working hard and yielding nothing but disappointment and it is happening everywhere in my life; from striving to impress my dad so he would come back to be with me to trying anything and everything to cure my nasal polyps. However, all without result… A short mental conversation followed:

” So I guess I will just have to observe the pain, is that right?”
” Yeah man, just watch the pain, sit with it instead of through it.”
” Ah, I really do not want to.”
” Why?”
” Because it really hurts.”

Man, I cried my pants off. How obvious it became how I just never truly accepted my father not being there. How I never accepted my nasal polyp being there. I absolutely hated the pain. Absolutely hated how sad it made me feel. I had made the connection intellectually before but at that moment I was able to really sit with it. I was able to really watch the sadness for what it was, at the experiential level of body sensations. Since I was finally just observing, I gave the opportunity for the pain to dissolve. Now, I can’t say (yet) that I am completely free of suffering but I am fighting pain and hurt less thereby enabling myself to better observe, let go and move on. I even feel as if my nasal polyps are clearing up hooray. I shouldn’t get to excited though…Stay equanimeous.

This correspondence of patterns at the sensational, physical/health and social levels reminded me of a documentary called inner worlds and outer worlds (http://www.innerworldsmovie.com), where they explain that the smallest particle contains the complete pattern of the whole. For example, the same pattern might occur in the very cells and atoms of my body. And on the other side, I might actually be a dysfunctional cell of a massive organ that we call the Milkyway. To me this shows how important it is to make changes within as we actually influence everything around us. As a person who was always quite focussed on helping and wanting to change other people that was quite a relief. It created more responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings and gave me the freedom to work more on myself.

I was really impressed by the amount of progress one can make in 10 days and I improved in ways I never thought possible. In the beginning, I could barely concentrate on my breathing for a couple of seconds and it was quite interesting to see to what crazy, creative and often destructive pasts or futures my mind would take me. However, in the end I was able to concentrate on breathing and sensations for long stretches and forget everything around me. On the last day we watched a documentary and there was literally no background noise in my head and I was seeing and hearing like I’d never done before.

Furthermore, I was able to notice subtler and subtler sensations as we kept on practicing and eventually became so aware that I started to wonder if the sub- or unconscious mind actually exists. Maybe it is just a matter of “not being aware of the present”? Mr. Goenka says: “The mind is a strong wild beast, however, imagine if we could actually tame it and make it work alongside us.” I say we would be present to our needs and those of others and we could fulfil all our dreams without being distracted and with limitless creativity. Although my mind now is not as calm and present as it was on the last day of the course, it has definitely helped me become more present and to “catch and reset” myself when I am drifting of in vicious thought patterns.

On the tenth day we were allowed to speak to each other again. This was the best experience of the whole course as well as the most confronting. I noted that not being distracted by my own troubles and stories at that time really enabled me to connect with other people.  I felt so much love and gratitude for seeing how beautiful and unique everyone was. On the other side, it was really confronting to realize that I always thought I knew what was going on for everyone and especially of how negative they thought about me.

There were so many stories, opinions and expectations I had made up around my fellow meditators. Thankfully, they didn’t make any sense at all. Sometimes I would not even know that I’d already made up a story about a person until they started talking and I would suddenly be surprised that he was actually very kind or, for example, had a really high pitched voice. Knowing this now helps me to better connect with the actual person instead of with the person I think they are. Furthermore, I am starting to see that most people are actually way more supportive and accepting than I always believed they were.

Finally, the great thing of the course is that you can actually experience everything you just read for yourself. For me, that was awesome. Especially since I was often (sometimes still am) looking for answers outside of myself.  I spent hours on internet searching for my best diet, for what yoga and breathing techniques I should use for nasal congestion and what movies I would definitely like according to IMDB. All very useful information but very dangerous if you actually never ask yourself and your own body what works for you. In my opinion, modern life unfortunately works like that. From the day we are born we are told what to do and what to believe. Amazingly, the Buddha does not want you to believe but invites you to come and see.

Oke, what now?
If you are interested in doing a course I would refer you to the Vipassana website: https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index. There are a lot of countries where the courses are being given. Note that you often have to book a couple of months in advance as the courses are quite popular. If you want more information feel free to ask any questions or watch the documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkxSyv5R1sg.

Furthermore, a friend of mine has some explanatory videos about Vipassana on his YouTube channel. (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9o_6dH1fbdHvglkU5AqHaw). If you don’t want to do a course, that is also perfect. If you are worried about the physical pain please note this: Everything always happens within the limits of you and your body and friendly Mr. Goenka will be there every evening to treat your wounds: “Patiently and persistently, you are bound to be successful.”

Written by Ramon.

HSP: share your sensitivity

Share your sensitivity!

Be the highly sensitive person you are, share how you see the world through your senses and soul’s mission. Are you ready to take the next steps with your emotional and spiritual development?

The people I coach are the writers, singers, visual artists, speakers, entrepeneurs, top-level managers, psychologists and people working on different levels and positions in organizations with all one thing in common: their strong desire to be at peace with themselves. Your inner peace is your starting point, it’s from where you fly off to share your vision to contribute to a better world.

A big challenge for super creative highly sensitive people is to live of their talents. How to succeed in a world with so much creative competition? Why would I improve my skills in photographing? There are so many great photographers out there, I don’t think I’ve got the talent to squeeze myself into that world. And what about setting foot on ground of actors and comedians?

It’s hard work. It doesn’t pay the bills, it’s actually eating up my savings.

Let me tell you how I think about competition and what success is all about. If you think about it, there is no competition. If you keep on focussing and enjoying what you most like to do, you won’t even have time and energy to look at the competition. It’s about building your world one step at a time. It’s not about what others do. It’s about what you want to achieve in your own pace.

And about success: write down your own definition of success and live by it. To me it’s waking up in the morning and looking forward to what the day will bring. Among other things: laughter of my children, joking with my partner and father of my children and coaching and rebirthing highly sensitive people.

Let’s say goodbye to the struggling-through-life mentality and change this into let-love-flow attitude.

We are all naturally self-confident. Close your eyes, breathe, feel how your mind struggles to surrender, but slowly it will surrender in order for your body to be heard. Because you want to live life to the fullest. You want your voice to be heard. And you definitely want to wake up each day knowing that you are contributing to a better and more loving world. Mind, body and soul will be aligned in the process of emotional and spiritual development. Inner peace will surface and you will feel who you are, what you want and how you will achieve this.

It’s so much easier to lead a creative lifestyle when you have tapped into that abundant resource of inner peace and self-love.

For more on Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing, please click here to visit my website. 

Are you interested in an introduction session? Click here for more information…