Rebirthing: standing up for yourself

Theme of the week: burnout, highly sensitive woman and men getting to know their emotional bounderies and opening up for sadness and anger. Their emotional roller coaster takes them to a much stronger position in which they feel confident to stand up for themselves. Standing up for yourself is key to maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

The highly sensitive people I speak all work hard and have a strong wish to pick themselves up quickly after a breakdown. They are stressed out and would like to see it as a breakdown, but instead they have to acknowledge it’s a burnout. It’s hard to accept how lost and to the bone tired one feels while recovering from a burnout. They feel mentally, physically and emotionally weak and vulnerable.

People recovering from a burnout walk around being haunted by feelings of disappointment, sadness, anger and guilt. They feel disappointed by their former employers, colleagues and often family and friends who don’t seem to understand their situation. During sessions we speak about the hurt, but mostly I guide them through their pain. Rebirthing, conscious connected breathing, is effective breath-therapy to release all these heavy weighing emotions.

Another aspect of people recovering from burnout is the weakened body. When you don’t know how to release these heavy weighing emotions, these emotions will weaken the body. You can find yourself being tortured by headaches, aching limbs, a slow or fast digestive system, hyperventilation or panic attacks. Rebirthing is the answer to heal the mental, physical, emotional and energetic body.

When I have people laying on an air-matress in my coachingpractice I guide them to open up for the “language” of their body. While doing the conscious connected breathing the body starts to “speak” by physical expressions such as coldness in limbs, tingling over the whole body, itching, cramps, pain in the belly, pressure on the chest and so on. At the height of physical discomfort I guide them to release pain. Sometimes the coachee/ rebirthee is able to release their sadness by themselves, but at other times guidance is necessary, because they simply don’t feel access to releasing the pain.

This week the focus was on guiding them to scream the hell out of them. Imagine these people, they are not used to standing up for themselves, let alone screaming the negative energy out of their system. It was amazing to hear them scream. My screaming helped them to get to know their primal scream. The scream which can stop negative energy in the form of accusations and anger coming your way making you feel guilty and lonely.

Are you interested in an introduction session? Book your introduction session here! 

Read more on rebirthing
Rebirthing: listen to your body
Rebirthing: breathing through despair
Rebirthing: release yourself from cold energy

 

 

Rebirthing: breathing through despair

This quote summarises my work beautifully. This morning I witnessed a highly sensitive man in despair. Even though we have been working together intensively for two months, the last two weeks despair caught him. We started this session with Social Panorama, bringing into focus his current relationship with his father. This exercise brought up many emotions and from here we moved to the rebirthing session on a air mattress. He literally screamed the hell out of him. The hell encompassing anger, despair and sadness. Afterwards he felt relieved, the pressure on his chest and neck was gone, he was able to freely breath again. Tears of gratitude followed. And the belief that he is capable to achieve calmness and happiness in his heart and soul.

Let me fill you in a bit more about this highly sensitive man. He thinks a lot and he feels a lot. By thinking I am referring to his capability to process a lot of information in a short period of time. He is a hard worker, someone who has been working for the past eight years for the same company. He is paid to do one position, but instead he fills in three positions. He is a loving single dad of two kids. Along with the birth of his first child his emotional development got a boost. He was overwhelmed by the love he felt for his child. This is when he decided to talk to a psychologist. He is a man who grew up in a family without the loving attention and care a child deserves. His emotional journey brought him to a diverse range of psychologists, coaches, and professionals skilled in a physical aspect of health such as acupuncture.

All he had undertaken brought him finally to my work as a life coach and rebirther. What I remember from our first session was his question: “Am I right about you being able to handle my sadness, my pain?” Even though he felt he was right, he wanted my confirmation. He needed to check his doubt, because of his disappointment with previous psychological guidance. They weren’t capable of guiding him through the emotional turmoil which arose during sessions. What I noticed about him was that he was mentally and physically ready to undergo rebirthing sessions. From our first session onwards all we did was rebirthing. Today was the first day I decided to lead him through Social Panorama showing him the wrecker inside of him.

Leading up to this session he was conscious of the wrecker inside of him. That part of him who didn’t want to see the light of things, the beauty of things. The wrecker did his job well, he blocked him from moving forwards. The wrecker acted out of fear; fear of change of jobs, fear of feeling the pain. The wrecker also punished him by staying in that lonely spot, he didn’t feel like being social. In short, sitting in front me, was a wrecked intelligent, talented and loving man, in total despair. During these two hours I brought him to his pain. Of course he was willing to feel through the pain, the only thing was, he thought he couldn’t do it by himself. He was afraid of the pain and I fully understand his fear. The pain which left his system was enormous, was killing, was hell. He was furious, desperate and intensely sad.

After having guided him through his pain he mentioned several times “Now I feel calm, now I am able to breath again”. Tears of joy and gratitude flowed out of him. His belief in mental, physical and spiritual recovery had returned. He was relieved and I was super happy. One result was his answer to my question what he could change in the relationship with his father. While answering tears filled his eyes: “I am a giver, I give my attention to everyone except for my father. Soon I will ask him how is doing. I want to know.”

Would you be interested in a coaching session? Click here to read about the introduction session. 

Life Coaching: guiding intuitively towards the core of the pain

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Most of the sessions I guide take place during the mornings. This means I have time in the afternoon to write the coachingreports and e-mail coachees of the previous days. On a busy day my afternoons are also filled with people coming by. In this case sometimes I will finish some work in the evenings or leave it for the next day.

When I coach I am like a channel through which all emotions flow. Intuitively I guide people towards the core of their pain. In some cases the life stories are extremely painful. Channeling the emotions during the sessions wouldn’t be enough to have them not effect me. In these cases I write detailed coachingreports to empty my head, soul and body. It keeps me fit and clear minded.

From the first session onwards, the introduction session, the people I coach receive an e-mail after the session. In this e-mail I put a short summary of the points discussed, homework and the confirmation of the next appointment. For example, below a summary of the points discussed:

We have spoken about the following points:

  • You chose to not follow through with the job offer in Hong Kong,
  • At your trip your sleep was disturbed by thoughts about your life; what steps to take,
  • You are applying for other jobs,
  • Moving to another place would be an option after you and your husband have been contracted at a new company/job,
  • Changing from a negative worldview to a positive one with regards to having children; you’re still thinking about having children in the near future.

Many people come in with a practical coaching question such as: ‘I’ve had a burnout, I would like to get back my energy’, ‘I would like to get better at giving presentations in front of a big group’ or ‘I am bored at my work, how to change career?’. Their questions always end up with sharing their live stories, the stories which had a big negative impact on their selfesteem and identity. Being exposed to awful and painful stories is a big part of my job or better put; my life mission. While coaching and following people’s emotional development I get in return cheerful, smiling and strong willed people. Guiding people to live a happier and peaceful life is most rewarding to me. This is definitely how I will live and work my whole life: freeing people from their fears, anger and sadness. It cleares the path to a life based on inner knowing, trust and truth. And this is possible for everyone.

For more information about my work, visit my website Orchid of Life ~ Life Coaching

 

I wish you enough

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I Wish You Enough

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, “I love you and I wish you enough”.

The daughter replied, “Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom”.
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?”

“Yes, I have,” I replied. “Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?”

“I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is – the next trip back will be for my funeral,” she said.

“When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough’. May I ask what that means? “.

She began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone”. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled! Even more. “When we said, ‘I wish you enough’, we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them”. Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.

Source: a friend who posted this on Facebook.

HSP: learn to deal with negative energy

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Highly sensitive people are more prone to negative energy. Negative energy weakens us in many ways. All of a sudden we feel blurry in the head, weak in the knees or are struck by stomach cramps. In most of the situations we are also overwhelmed by an incapacity to speak up for ourselves. In my coaching practice I have seen men and woman passing by who were willing to work on this, they signaled their inability to handle negative energy and wanted to get to the core of this.

There was this guy in particular who suffered hyperventilation after an outburst of a client. He was sent of to a house to fix the things his colleague failed to do properly. The client showed his disappointment to him even though he knew he wasn’t the one who caused the problem. At the moment he handled it with care, but the energy filled with disappointment and anger fired up his way was whirling around in his system for days, especially in his head!

In his head he would fantasize about future scenarios about conflicts with his employer, colleagues and clients.

And what to do if you’re working with a boss who’s emotional state is unpredictable and confusing? Highly sensitive people feel every change in other people’s emotional state of being. They feel alerted when someone comes in at a meeting, a drink or at the grocery store with an emotional state which can be described as sad, frustrated or downright grumpy. Depending the situation they feel like running away or sit still and wait for the right moment to step in. In this case, when working with a boss who comes in one day super happy and the next day as if the company would collapse in front of his eyes, what would you do as a highly sensitive person?

The answer to this question can be find at the core of the “problem”. I have written problem in between brackets, because I’d rather perceive emotional/ psychological “problems” as chances to work on one’s emotional being. In all of the situations above the negative energy experienced can be traced back to the highly sensitive people’s childhood. When we don’t know how to deal with negative energy in daily adult situations this is a signal that we haven’t learnt to deal with different negative energy’s in the past.

Energy can be read as in “emotions”, basic emotions such as anger and sadness.

We could differentiate these emotions as disappointment, frustration, irritation, mourning, hatred, anguish and envy among many more. These emotions are seen as negative and therefore I will refer as them as such, but in my view of personal development these emotions are the gateway to emotional freedom and a strong belief of self.

In childhood our relationship with our caretakers influence the way we handle emotions of others and of ourselves. When we haven’t healed our emotional wounds we are consciously or unconsciously tortured by our reactions directed by our wounded inner child. The wounded inner child will attract the experiences in life in order to emotionally grow. A highly sensitive person raised by caretakers who were still walking around with their own pain; anger and sadness will automatically absorb these negative emotions. They are not able to experience these emotions separate from themselves. Depending on the character of the child and the relationship to their caretakers the child’s mental and emotional development will be influenced.

What happens in adult life is that people, when open for personal development, start to discover the root of their behavioral patterns. Aha, so the reason I can’t handle disappointment is because I have compensated my insecurities by doing the most sublime work I am able to do in order for my father to notice me. And walking around with an overall feel of insecurity about me taking upon so much responsibility is because my mom did everything possible for me. Whenever I needed help she was there. She wanted to be there, because her parents died on her when she was young. She didn’t even get to know them.

I have spoken many highly sensitive people who are living with the best intentions and doing the best they can for their families, but with one caretaker blowing them away with unexpected anger which had nothing to do with them, they walk around in life feeling afraid of opening their mouth. They are just paralyzed by misplaced anger. And there is this hunger, this innate need for acknowledgment of who they are and this desire to be valued for their actions. In the end, they are the ones who will give all of these positive emotions to themselves. They are worth to feel every single bit of emotion running through their veins.

Are you interested in an introduction session? Click here for more information…

Life Coaching: opening up for emotional development

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I am super grateful for today. Someone I’ve coached nine years ago decided to take on my guidance for the next months.  I am sure it will be life changing. I’ve grown professionally and he is ready to release his pain. I can’t think of a better combination. Aiming for coaching more and more highly sensitive men.

HSP: Let the pain surface so joy can replace the freed space

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Let the pain surface so joy can replace it. That’s the work I guide during sessions. Not everyone is ready, but sessions can also be experienced as a mental preparation for the emotional and physical work which is ahead. Lots of people have the need to understand with their mind before they can let go of the fear to feel what has been hiding in the body for years.

As a life coach I have studied different mental techniques to guide mental and emotional shifts. After having worked almost 11 years as a life coach I have arrived at the place where my soul’s purpose and the people who resonate with my work have come together. People of all ages. It’s not about age, it has never been about age, but about me feeling secure enough to tell everyone how I can help them. When I was 26 years old there were people who judged me. I let myself be judged and decided to study more coaching techniques. This year I will turn 37 years and I am happy to share more of the work I do.

Since 2004 my vision and mission has been the same. My vision is that more and more people will hear the calling of their hearts and souls and take action upon this. My mission is to help these people to release the pain they are carrying within so it can be replaced by the joy fueled by sharing their innate talents and qualities.

In 2011 I decided to put myself forward as a coach for highly sensitive people. It took me 11 years to realize this fully. In the year 2000 I read the book ‘The Highly Sensitive Child’ written by Elaine N. Aron. In 2008 I was conscious of the fact that the people I coach were a lot like me: caring, creative, intuitive and with soft and loving souls. The following year I wrote two articles on high sensitivity for a Dutch lifestylewebmagazine. These articles were well received, but still it didn’t clicked. It took two more years and while my unconsciousness was adding up all the high sensitivity events it finally clicked in the summer of 2011; one year after the birth of my daughter who’s now almost 5 years old.

The biggest insight of my life came to me after the birth of my daughter. I was holding a precious, pure, loving and fully feeling soul and could only feel a magnificence joy and gratitude for LIFE. People are born sensitive. We loose a great deal of this sensitivity when we are surrounded by caretakers who haven’t worked through their pain, sadness and anger. These energies definitely influence the baby: while growing in the womb and the years after birth up until 6 years old are the years in which the child creates convictions about life. Is life good for them or is life dangerous and should you always be careful? Shall I show my talent or will it be criticized?

Have you experienced your portion of hurdles in life in relationship to work, love relationships and parenting? Have you arrived at crossroads with arrows pointing in many directions? Are you ready for positive change or better said: eager for life changing reflection and action? If so, I invite you to make an appointment for an introduction session.
Take a look here for the Orchid of Life Prices and Options.  Are you a Spanish native speaker? Please take a look at this blog ‘Si me siento como una persona sensible’.