When life gives you lemons…

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I love this phrase. This phrase contains sadness and happiness. It directs the reader to make something fun out of something sad. In some strange way this phrase led me to some of the rebirthing sessions I’ve guided this week via video skype.

While this lady over fifty was crying her heart out over not even feeling she has a choice in different situations, she suddenly burst into laughter. Laughter changed into crying again. I was looking at my screen, a bit in doubt, because I wondered if she was laughing or crying. She cleared my doubt by sharing she was laughing. I commented that laughter heals, she totally agreed. I forgot to ask why she started laughing in the first place.

Another lady in her thirties started and finished the session off with laughter. In between she cried her heart and eyes out. She was able to direct her anger towards her parents in stead of down talking herself over and over again. She let out this destructive energy by stamping her feet, throwing her arms around, screaming the hell out of her and jumping up and down.

And this mixture of laughing and crying showed me these ladies were making lemonade. It shows a huge strength when you’re able to laugh when you’re feeling completely miserable.

The lemons given to the highly sensitive people I guide are diverse:

  • Being brought up by parents who are not able to communicate about emotions,
  • Being fired away as a kid by an angry and dominant parent,
  • Too be sensitive is to be weird, dreamy, a crybaby, shy, fearful, anti-social in the eyes of others,
  • Because of childhood trauma’s still living out of fear, anger, sadness, shame and guilt as an adult,
  • Growing up in an environment in which natural born talents were not seen nor stimulated,
  • Living up to parent’s expectations in stead of discovering your own path in life.

It’s up to you to make lemonade out of these lemons. It’s not easy, but it is sure doable. And you will finally fully enjoy your home-made lemonade!

Choosing to emotionally develop takes you to different surprising tastes of lemonade:

  • Embracing your highly sensitive self; yes, you are spontaneous, yes you are quirky, yes you are dreamy, yes you are a “mind & heart”-reader, yes you are attentive to the needs of others, yes you are creative, yes you are … (fill in the blanks yourself),
  • Attracting jobs, relationship(s) and friends which and who resonate with your soul,
  • Feeling safe, loved and appreciated on a daily basis; from self-love comes greatness,
  • More physical and mental energy to do the things you like,
  • Able to choose easily for the situations in which you will thrive and easily turning down the proposals which will drain your energy level,
  • Living your own path and feeling natural self-confident about the steps you take.

If you’re interested in finding out what life coaching and rebirthing can bring you, I invite you to make an appointment for an introduction session, either in my coaching practice in The Hague or via video skype. Click here to read more about the introduction session. 

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The way she sings this song

A couple of weeks ago I got to know Tamera Foster via X factor UK. Only 16 years old and she already knows what her true passion is. I have seen this performance many times, it touched me right in the heart, time after time. Actually it didn’t touch me; that would not describe in the least the impact of her performance. It literally pierced right into a wound which was still there, tears were running down my face, time after time. That’s why it took so long for me to blog about it.

This is what happened, while listening to her, her performance changed into a metaphor for life. I believe everyone has come to a point in life when a combination of fear and nerves has led to a black-out. In many cases it could have been a traumatic black-out which has limited one to act out of strength and love for oneself. When Tamera was going through this awful feeling of being lost she asked permission to step of the stage. Backstage she asked for help.

I am convinced that this is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself: asking for help. After having heard the specific words she needed to hear she went up the stage again; still blurried by tension, but from now on willpower carried her throughout the song. Now it was up to her. It carried her while still experiencing fear and tension during first half of the song. What moved me were the facial expressions of the jury: they supported her fully.

She did it, like I believe everyone can do! The moment when she was in sync with herself and everyone around her she was heard: her voice is amazing! I know she is blessed for knowing at such a young age that this is her life goal and she is going for it. Having found a vocation in life means also overcoming it’s hurdles to finally simply shine from your core being.

Before choosing this path she was lost, from the moment her voice was heard there is still work to do, but a fulfilling and rewarding life is awaiting her. A change is preceeded by a choice: choose for whatever makes you happy!

An explosion of thoughts: acting out of Fear or Love?

The Hague is such a lovely mixture of different cultures. I love walking down the streets or sit down in café’s and hear all these exotic languages. When Amé was only a couple of months young we took her to Vapiano. As usual Vapiano was quit busy, but not as busy as during the evenings. It was an afternoon. A good time for young parents to have a pizza.

We sat down next to a couple with their daughter who already could sit and eat her pizza baby slices. Because of our daughters and especially because the daughers were a mixture of Asian and Western blood there was an immediate click. We started talking about life, living in the Hague and being a young parent. It was so much fun.

Normally I would initiate the ‘exchanging numbers moment’ and hand out my business card. Adding to this moment an invitation to meet up some other time, but I didn’t. I didn’t because I knew it wouldn’t come to meeting up. Us being a part of ‘young-parents-world’ were living it day by day and enjoying every moment of our renewed lives. Sh••t, and they were so nice. I spoke out the wish to run into them some other time.

This happened. Last monday on my birthday I run into them. I cycled back home after a swim and sauna. Cycling towards the second Chinatown entrance towards station Hollands Spoor I saw the little girl on the pavement. Instantly I recognized her. I looked up to the parents; again recognition took place.

In stead of stopping and walking up to them for a chitchat I cycled away from them, thinking…Pfff..thinking way to many thoughts; an explosion of thoughts whirled around in my head. Shall I turn around and start chitchatting? No, I’m tired of today and I wouldn’t have the time to meet up anyway. If we would exchange numbers and I would be calling months after our ‘China-town meet up’ it would defeat the purpose of getting to know each other and by the way I have enough friends!! Ok…and now it’s way too late to turn around, now I really have to look for them, so let’s forget about it and move on. Oh, my gosh, this wasn’t me, not like me at all.

At home I told my man: do you remember this couple and their baby girl whom me met months ago in Vapiano? He remembered and listened to my explosion of thoughts. He said only ‘Also in this situation you could ask yourself ‘Shall I act out of fear or love?’’ Suddenly it struck me; I could have just said ‘hi, how are you guys and bye’ and experience the moment just as it was given to me. This thought gave so much space, so much energy. If only I would have had the energy…hmmm…let’s skip the ‘if only’s’ and remember from now on this adage ‘I’m I acting out of fear or love?’ 

And about the couple; wishing to come across them again. Preferably in the Hague, sweet dear universe!!

Like a butterfly spreading its wings

Bringing harmony in almost everything that surrounds me is something that makes me feel exhilarated and alive, it’s like I was born to do it.

Painting & drawing gets me in this relaxed yet focused mood, I prefer to paint positive things, as what I paint influences how I feel, it can alter my mood, when I have a bad day it cheers me up.

I like it when people discover painting as a way to express themselves and release their emotions. It gives a sense of harmony to complete a painting, just like a symphony, it all has to flow into oneness.

Sketching is also fun to do, I like to leave some lines on the paper, the roughness and dynamic of it is pleasing to the eye. It’s fun to make illustrations that relate to a certain topic, that way there is a deeper feeling added to a story.

Interior design is also one of my passions and I have helped a few friends in their decisions of completing their living room and bedroom. It’s in the planning to do this on a professional level.

Just to harmonize a room to a perfect picture, is important I think, as what you surround yourself with, influences your mood. I am always thinking of this, when I am in a restaurant or pub, I think of how I would handle the design.

I also feel great pleasure when I see people grow as a person and bloom into their fullest potential. With that I love to help people that seem in need, those that are in a difficult position and really could use some support. When I attended a lecture of the Dalai Lama in Copenhagen in April this year, that feeling grew even more, what a light and inspiration that man brings!

Walking in nature is something that always gives me peace of mind, and is harmony in its purest form. The flowing of clouds in the sky, wild flowers in a wheat field, a tiny bird in a blossom tree, its just perfect as it is. When I was on a Holiday on the Faroe Islands I was blown away by the refreshing ocean air and the impressive steep cliffs. Also the flow of a city, its total picture and ‘feel’, can make me smile.

The city I live in now, Odense, has a fairytale feel to it, as it is the place where H.C Andersen grew up.

All the above I’d like to combine somehow, and make Eco-friendly furniture and products in respect of ‘mother nature’. And also design products that could benefit those in need. As I am living in Denmark where design is a big aspect in life, and respect for nature is high on the list, I feel very much at place and on the right path here.

This is a process that is unfolding in my life right now, like a butterfly spreading its wings.

Writing & drawing by Annerie Meijers

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Write your own story, read the blog Win & Write: What makes you tick? 

Synchronicity runs through my coaching practice

This feeling of being alive, energetic and happy has its source in being ‘coaching’. Or even bettter put: in being ‘the spark that lights up fires’. I’ll explain…Yesterday we had a nice day out in the park. I did some reading, playing with Amé and playing a bit of capoeira. My man and a friend were kicking ass by doing capoeira: free & easy to get the muscles loosend up. This afternoon and evening we had conversations about my work, psychology and psychotherapy; in short ‘breaking through destructive emotions’.

While talking about my work I was reminded by something ‘magical’ which runs through my coaching practice and has defined my practice from the start in 2004.

When I started in 2004 I received an e-mail from an ex-colleague of mine. Someone I worked with during my bachelor communication in Rotterdam. At that time she was somewhere in South-America and she sent an e-mail to her family. I was put in ‘cc’ and I was the only one. Hmmm…how odd, because we hadn’t had contact for already 5 years. I answered and because of our e-mail exchange we met up in café Dudok in Rotterdam. I told her about my work. She told me about her life at that moment and said: “I need to hire you as a coach!”. Amazing, my first coachee, via a digital wink of the universe.

This ‘magical’ thing is ungoing. I could go on and on about synchronic anekdotes from my practice (2004 -up until now), but I will leave you with one happened recently…

Not long ago I had a talk with someone quit racional explaining what the term synchronicity actually means. He was like “I don’t believe in coincidences. They just happen and not for a specific reason. Only an hour later synchronicity crossed his path and I was happy to be around to witness this. While he was looking for the ‘how’, how it came to be that a specific country appeared on the screen, I asked him: “What did it do to you seeing the name of the country?” “This country is special to me. It makes me special. I was born there.” From that moment on I was sure that I would eventually coach him or be of help in some way.

Geeske: Now I can choose for the things which are important to me with full conviction

During several months Chungmei guided me on the search for a path between my own expectations and the garbage I carry with me. Through great questioning she revealed my unconscious thinking which played a big role in limiting myself. By sharing my unconscious thinking and emotions with her, she helped me to be positive towards life and to choose my own direction in life.

Without her guidance I would have lost myself in the negativity which often reigns in Holland through complaining and the focus on what goes wrong in society and daily life. Now I can choose for the things which are important to me with full conviction and more selfesteem. Along the way I confront my fellow human being with their strengths and the beautiful side of life.

Off course she did not to this by herself, because she needed my input for sure. But the other way around is more true –I did not to it by myself, but with the guidance of a special lady who early in life knew for what she was born to do. Chungmei was not only my coach, but she is an example of calmness and positivity and an expert in her field. I would highly recommend you to contact her so you can get to know her and decide for yourself.

Geeske, 25th of November 2008.