Life Coaching: letting go of tears and fears

incredible

Let’s start of this blog with a deep sigh. I feel blessed to be able to bring light to people’s lives. That’s one thing for sure. And now it’s time to write about it. I haven’t done so for a long time, because I was pretty occupied with family life, main life events and work. As of this summer we live in a really nice neighborhood in The Hague. We enjoy being surrounded by lots of green, all facilities and our daughter’s school close to our house. After almost elf years of working as a coach in living rooms (one-on-one coaching) and on locations in several cities in the Netherlands (workshops & training) I may proudly announce my first separate working and coaching space at home. Let me share with you some of the life stories that has come my way.

When a thirtysomething year old guy told me that he felt ashamed to share certain thoughts and feelings while he was seeing a psychologist I was struck. I exclaimed that it is necessary for his development to start sharing all of his thoughts and feelings. What one gets out of psychological guidance is the amount of ‘you’ one puts in. You need to be willing to work with what you have. It’s not the psychologist, therapist or other type of mental guidance who will pull out all of your pain and fears. But on another note, it could be helpful to talk to someone who does get you talking about all the things that you are ashamed of. During this session I felt I needed to share some of my experiences guiding highly sensitive man. Sensitive man could go through a phase of doubting their sexuality. Bingo. He had struggled with this topic as well.

But what if you just don’t know what to tell me? Than I could put myself on a repeat spreading the message ‘You need to be willing to work with what you have’, but it won’t bring the coachee nor me any further during the session. This young lady was sitting on the couch and told me with a big smile that everything was going well. She started her studies, moved to a student apartment and works in catering to maintain herself. Looking back on the previous session there could still be some emotions blocking her from living freely, but at this point she was smiling. After having asked a few questions about her life the pain came out: carrying a huge load of responsibility for her divorced parents and little sister. Because she cared for all emotions and thoughts of her loved ones she was left out in the whole process. She needed to give herself some loving attention and one way to do this was to start sharing more of her life with her loved ones.

Before people start lifecoaching with me they haven’t got a clue of how far they can come in terms of feeling secure, confident, happy and cheerful from within. Another life story which moved me deeply was the story of a woman in her late fifties who was still mourning her husband who passed away six yours ago. Up until this point of no return she had taken care of him for years and years after he had a severe accident. For almost fifteen years she hadn’t felt those little butterflies starting of in the belly and flying up to the head bringing feelings of ‘being in love’. This confused her to the max and brought her to a devastating phase of mourning again, of finally and definitely starting to let go of the man who showed her to love.

More and more stories are coming my way and I embrace them. All these stories turn me into a channel from which I intuitively coach; reflect, react, summarize, feedback, intervene with coaching techniques and share life stories with the intention to reframe thoughts and feelings which are limiting the person to live fully. Again, I feel blessed to work as a life coach helping people to embrace life from their core strength and desire to live.

You cannot heal a lifetime of pain overnight, be patient with yourself, it takes as long as it takes to rebuild yourself.

Advertisements

What makes me tick: everything small and packed…

That’s a hard one. There are quite a few things that make me tick. Seeing a good movie with great cinematography and acting is always enjoyable and extremely satisfying. The ideas behind a movie, the confident and stellar acting performances by many great actors and actresses and not forget the techniques still being developed faster than ever all fascinate me. I also seem to like my daily portion of TV shows.

Furthermore, I love gadgets: I always keep my smartphone or some sort of other communication gadget with me so I can always check my mail, see what’s going on online, and so that other people can keep in touch with me.

As a med student, most things medical keep me interested as well. Performing physical examinations, having a good consult with the patient, learning something new and interesting or spectate a surgery right from behind the surgeon himself is thrilling. I cannot wait to see what my internships will bring me next year. Very exciting.

Blogging helps, next to the fact that I like people to enjoy the content I post, me keep up my writing skills as I still need to put quite some effort in it without sounding too repetitive or dull. People do say I have good writing skills, so I guess I’m doing something right at least. And last but not least: I absolutely love goodies. Small perfume samples, lotion samples, posters, toy figures (from games), … Everything small and packed that belongs in a goodie bag make me extremely curious to see as what it is and to keep it. I do not know why, but I like it.

So, what makes you tick?
——————————————————————————— 

Write your own story, read the blog Win & Write: What makes you tick? 

Love is…

Oldest definition of Love ever written:  “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”

found-a-phone

Photo by Ouxu