Rebirthing: listen to your body

How often do we neglect physical pains and discomforts? Such as a twitching eyelid, headache, stomach pain, cold shoulder, restless leg and so on. Your body wants to be heard and has a story to tell. Stories on what you feel, of emotions which want to be released: sadness, anger, fear and guilt. Start listening, start breathing.

Today a highly sensitive man came in for his 11th rebirthing session. He was in total despair. The last couple of days he was at home after a difficult conversation with his supervisors. He wasn’t able to stand up for himself even though he knows his workload is too much for him. As a result of this meeting he had a headache above walking around with physical complaints such as obstipation and a twitching eyelid. 

For the past years he dealt with the workload and he was quite successful. It was exactly what he wanted. The past months his emotional development took him into a phase in which he needed to stand up for himself. He needed to stand up against his parents. The reason why he took up the workload was a deep desire to be seen, to be acknowledged for his presence, his abilities and knowledge. He had missed this during his upbringing. His parents had to deal with their own problems. They didn’t have the emotional space and consciousness to guide him. 

Emotional development takes a person to his or her own core, the place filled with joy, peace and self love. By continuously emptying this place of sadness, anger, fear, guilt and hate, one makes space for unconditional self love. This is not arrogant nor selfish, it’s essential to maintain emotional health and to start and maintain healthy relationships. 

During a rebirthing session of two hours I have seen this man change from a dead scared man unable to hold his position in conversation with pears to a man who communicated from a confident and strong place. He shared his professional successes and felt proud. He finally felt he was a good, hardworking and reliable human being and employee. Before he was never satisfied and was searching for more appreciation by doing much more than he could handle. He was able to continue this race for a long time steered by his head, his ratio. Hereby totally neglecting his body. 

The past months has changed his attitude in life in a positive way. He is on the verge of living out of love instead of fear. Soon he will make an appointment with his peers to discuss his position.

Two days after having posted this blog I received the following comment of the man I wrote about in this blog:

Thank you Chungmei. It was an amazing journey that I took together with you. Your power, sensing and serenity was inspiring me. And you know what happened after Wednesday: last week I succeeded to stand up for myself. The feedback that I received from my supervisors and colleagues was fantastic.

So I gave myself a big gift. When I came home, all the pain, fear and anger left my body while I was doing the conscious connected breathing. It was enormous intense, painful to feel all the emotions. But this was replaced by good feelings like: proudness, confidence, giving myself (inner) space, and realising what good qualities I have and being able to show these.

A turning point which was already going on, but I didn’t expect that these changes would go so fast. The energy is not there yet, but it is going up and I am doing it step by step. Unbelievable, I was struggling for so many years, but these sessions really helped me a lot!!

As we said a few weeks ago: I’m going to kick some ass and will shine. I’m going to fill this circle with a lot of love and positive energy. Namaste Chungmei.

So what about you? Are you walking around with physical discomforts? Are you in need of positive change? Feel free to contact me to schedule an appointment!

Click here for more information on the introduction session.

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Rebirthing: break through limiting patterns by breathwork

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Nowadays I am a big fan of rebirthing. This doesn’t mean that I am not using the coaching techniques anymore which I have been practising for more than ten years. I am referring to counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Social Panorama and provocative coaching. These coaching techniques come in handy in combination with rebirthing. These techniques are especially helpful in my experience, because I use them to create a bridge towards a mind and body open for everything which might surface while doing the conscious connected breathing.

This week a thirthy something woman came in for her second session and she was dead-scared to be laying down on a yoga mat to do rebirthing. I had a feeling she was coping with several emotions towards the guidance, because of her e-mail. In her e-mail she only shared that she was reluctant to come to the session. Nevertheless she would come, because she wanted to break through her limiting thinking and behavioral patterns. Even though her motivation to undergo the emotional process was intrinsic I needed her trust.

In order to gain her trust I let her speak about her fears. Because she experiences several physical pains in neck, shoulder and hip area, she was afraid to be feeling lots of commotion in those areas. Apart from being dead-scared to be facing other heavy emotions. I reassured her that her body and mind would only allow her to feel and think exactly what she would be able to handle in her state of condition. That’s a part of the magic of the conscious connected breathing. The body smarter than one would think it is.

I started out with the technique called Social Panorama. While undergoing this exercise she was able to feel a set of limiting emotions regarding a beloved one. Emotions such as sadness and fear. A fear which is quite common and lots of people suffer from is the fear of rejection. This fear of rejection once created in contact with a beloved one can be a real threat to one’s mental and physical health. This is because the fear will lead it’s own life if not tackled before by expressing the underlying sadness and pain. The life it will lead can be mirrored to the person suffering from it in professional and personal relationships such as relationships with colleagues, family, friends and partners.

From the moment you realize that you have fallen into a negative circle of life occurrences and that you don’t want a repeat of this, than you are ready for life coaching. I am not saying it’s easy, but it all starts with the decision that you want it different, better and positive. In the end that’s what you deserve, that’s what we all deserve; to lead a happy, joyful and creative life in which we are able to share our happiness and talents.

If you’re interested in a life coaching session, first option would be an introduction session in my coaching practice in The Hague. Here you can read more about the introduction session…

Life Coaching: knowing what you want

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“Let me briefly explain my situation and objectives: I have been working for more than five years as an engineer, the job I always wanted to do since I was a child. But although I changed companies and finally arrived at the company that had been my objective from the early days of university, I found myself always uncomfortable and unsatisfied, not sure whether this is really what I want to do the whole day.

Now my personal situation all of a sudden has offered me an opportunity to change track, or at least to reflect about how I want to go on. My partner has got a job offer from Berlin and that’s why we’ll move to Germany in January. I would like to catch this opportunity for understanding what I would really like to do in my professional life. By myself, I have thought this through so many times without coming to results. That is why I would be happy if you could assist me on this way.”

The above email was sent to me by someone who was in his thirties. During the session it because clear that he has an enormous talent, but he wasn’t aware of this up until this conversation. From the moment he walked in I was blown away by his voice. A loud, low and deep voice which filled the hallway. I was flabbergasted and grabbed myself together by introducing myself and showing him the way to the practice. In life he was confronted twice with the impact of his voice. When he was 16 his friends told him he had a magnificent voice. When he was a student he wanted to work as a voice-over, but because of his study he didn’t go through with it.

During the session he was going on and on about wanting to have a passion for something so he could earn his money with his passion or talent. I was listening to a man who had been stuck in his career for years. In his words: “I’m young enough to start something new, but what will I do?”

Sing my friend, sing. Or talk, his voice was his answer.

IFFR: The Amazing Catfish

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There we were, sitting in a crowded room, waiting for ‘The Amazing Catfish’ to start. Being part of the International Film Festival in Rotterdam (IFFR) is amazing. The atmosphere was vibrant; people talking, smiling, the smell of food mixed with the loud sounds produced by a life dj in De Doelen. I totally forgot about the way they would go about this, so yes, I was a bit surprised when filmmaker Claudia Sainte-Luce walked up the stage. She was introduced by a presenter of the IFFR. Her presence was open, sweet and grateful. She took a photo of us, her audience.

This Mexican tale moved me to the bone. It relates about the protagonist Claudia who gets to know a family within vulnerable circumstances. Slowly but steadily she gets to know each family member and each of them in their own space opens up to her. We got to know Claudia more through her non-verbal communication rather than her verbal communication. This was because of her character, someone who doesn’t speak a lot, but also because of her roots, Mexican culture.

While observing al this non-verbal communication I linked it to a part of a training I recently provided. The training is called ‘Positive communication in relationships’. I shared examples of high-context and low-context communication styles within personal and professional relationships. How Mexicans communicate is definitely high-context with lots of non-verbal communication expressed in eye-contact, gestures and pauses.

This was again demonstrated while filmmaker Claudia was interviewed after the movie. She used a lot of words and story lines to answer questions from the audience. She showed her emotions. She moved us by her presence, because she was even willing to drink whiskey and dance for us if that was what it would take to start asking her more questions about the movie. I didn’t have any questions. The emotions triggered by her movie were still trembling inside of me. I was only able to listen for a bit more and than we left.