Keep calm and sparkle


With so many things happening on the personal front we were continuously challenged on the work front. The past four years haven’t been easy with a burnout husband. Even though he still has this enormous headache we’re slowly crawling our ways up to a ‘normal’ living. A normal living would of course be when he is 100% healthy, but since we can’t plan the date of him being fully recovered, we do our best in our own pace.

We have dreams, big dreams. Dreams in which all of you are included. We strive for a healthy and happy living; mentally, physically and spiritually. Tonight at dinner he told me about someone who inspires him. Someone who trains people to get to know their true voice. He was impressed by his training method and thought he could do something similar; freeing people from their blockages. In his case it would be by moving. His thinking and brainstorming about the topic brought him to his moving core: his free flow capoeira method. A method which can make people of all ages enjoy moving, like they enjoyed moving when they were a child. Teaching people how to enjoy moving and playing around is only one of his dreams.

The thoughts I shared with him were about the ebook I’m writing on anger: how to deal with anger when you’re a highly sensitive person. The writing went well, my mind was crystal clear and that was exactly what I needed to fill the gaps. Now I realize I didn’t share my thoughts on workshops. Thoughts come and go like that. This morning I received two more sign-ups for a workshop I organized on emotion management for highly sensitive people in Utrecht. I was so happy that I started daydreaming instantly about organizing a workshop with a friend of mine. A friend who works as a psychologist and with whom I studied neuro linguistic programming. I saw myself having fun with her while brainstorming about different workshop topics.

At the moment she is super busy so I need to tame my enthusiasm. And that’s good, it’s good to keep my focus. Focus helps to finalize our current projects. Let’s stay calm and sparkle on this road called love.


Play it Forward: initiator of PIFWorld


Pifworld is a virtual world that brings together people and projects to make a positive change worldwide.
Join Pifworld’s global community, support and promote projects that you really care about and see how you and your friends can change the world!

1.Find your project
Pifworld is an easy way to find projects that match your ideals. From hunger relief to wildlife protection. From HIV awareness to building a school. Support the project you think will make a difference. 100% of your donation goes to the partner organisation that carries out the project. The whole wide world is at your fingertips!

2. Involve your friends
Pifworld makes it easier than ever before to involve others to support your favourite project. Invite your friends, family and colleagues. Involve your school, sports team or company. Together realise those projects that you really care about!

3. See the change
Best of all is that Pifworld enables you to see the change you make. Go to a Project Page and see for  yourself what kind of progress has been made. Watch the personal video updates and see how the school  you supported is being built  brick-by-brick. Stay connected like never before.

Become an Ambassador!
Are you ready to take it a step further for you favourite project? Become an Ambassador and promote your project even more passionately. Use photos, videos and blogs to inspire others. Grow a beard, run a marathon or bake cakes with your school. Nothing is too crazy to make sure that your favourite project gets the support it deserves!

Eager to get started? Go to and start making the change you want to see in the world.

“The ‘play it forward’ movement is inspired by the movie Pay It Forward. In this movie a little boy comes up with an idea to change the world. He invents the idea of not paying a favor back, but forward. It is all about repaying good deeds to three new people. By putting this idea into action he starts up a worldwide revolution.” Read the full blog here.

Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching supports PIFWorld

Improve your relationships with Social Panorama


Without being conscious of it, you have fixed your position in society and your social panorama. This means that you always continue to be who you are, even if you want it to be different. The social panorama model is a psychological instrument with which we can change our unconscious map of social reality. In this model, interpersonal relationships are explained as cognitive constructions in mental space; we project people onto a mental location, and that location determines the quality of the emotional relationship. Problems with intimate relationships, self confidence, conflicts, power, families, teams, and organizations can be relatively easily analysed and solved with the help of the social panorama model.

You are in the centre of this ‘social panorama’; all significant people are projected on their own locations around it. The exact locations where the images of others are placed in someone’s social panorama have proven to be extremely meaningful. This lead up to the social panorama’s maxim: relation equals location. Or more precisely: the quality of a social relation is to a great extend governed by the spot where the inner image of the person is projected in mental space. (by Lucas Derks, founder of the Social Panorama)

My Social Panorama experience in Hong Kong
In 2006 I went with Lucas Derks to Hong Kong to attend a training on Social Panorama which was given by Lucas himself. The training was organised for consultants who are working in business and health care organizations. During the training I have seen amazing results by using this method. There was a Chinese man dealing with self esteem issues and slowly small changes were visible in his facial expression and his standing posture became more steady.

Furthermore I noticed a cultural difference with the Dutch culture. The Dutch express theirselves more in comparison to the Chinese. The Dutch share their opinions and emotions can be read off their faces. Generally speaking, Chinese people, who are born and grew up in China, don’t have strong emotional facial and bodily expressions. This means that as coaches we need to be more aware and take the time to guide them fully through the process. It was very interesting to see how acting upon these cultural differences made such a huge difference in the results.

Social Panorama as one of my coachingtools
I have used this method in my practice to the great benefit of my coachees. For example one of my coachees struggled with authority issues on the workfloor. She had problems with facing her manager when it came to salary negotiations or simply when they teamed up to discuss projects. She felt she couldn’t meet the high expectations of her manager. After I had guided her through the Social Panorama she felt herself being on an equal level with the manager and the high expectations she felt earlier weren’t that high in reality. She felt less dominated and her own feelings of being ‘not important enough’ changed for the better so that she was capable of meeting the expectations of her manager.

Read more about Social Panorama & see films on how it works on the website of Lucas Derks, Social Panorama.