Growth is uncomfortable: psychosomatic illness surfaced during healing process

A sign! Received by an client of mine who is going through a deep and intense transformation process. Unprocessed emotions reveal themselves through the physical body. There is rash and itching all over. How I see it, is that the inner fire is awakenend. The inner fire is a mixture of anger, fear and sadness of the hurt inner child and the adult who is now aware of both the pain of the inner child ánd the adult. And this inner fire is burning through her old skin in order for the new skin to appear. A skin in which the client is able to live from out of her own “fire”, her needs and values.

That mixture of feelings would’t have shown itself via the skin if the person was in a loving connection with their emotional body. This was a psycho-somatic reaction of trauma.

We entered this phase of deep-rooted anger, fear and sadness which resulted in rash all over her body after the 22nd coaching and rebirthing session. Up until this session many physical symptoms appeared during and in between the sessions. During the sessions she had experienced trembling from crown to toes, warmth, coldness, headache, stiffness in neck and shoulders, pressure in several body parts, cramps in arms and hands, tension throughout her legs which made her move involuntary. Parallel to these physical reactions she learned to cry. At first she was so amazed by being in contact with sadness that she started laughing. Then it became a mixture of crying and laughing.

In between sessions she went through extreme tiredness, a foggy head, itchiness, headaches and at times more energy and a new kind of clarity and cheerfulness.

The client was in it for the whole game from the first session onwards. I’m referring to the openness and curiosity she had towards rebirthing and after her first session she decided upon doing a trajectory in which the emphasis would lie on processing trauma’s through breath work. During the first three sessions she felt a renewed connection with her physical body. As we continued working together, more limiting thoughts and emotions surfaced.

Let’s say, more or less during five sessions before this rash and itchiness appeared the following insights were part of the emotional development:

  • the unhealthy relationship with her parents, living up to their expectations in so many ways possible;
  • she took upon the role of the parents in relationship to her younger brother, feeling loads of responsibility in providing emotional support, because parents weren’t able to provide this;
  • consciously saying “no” to other people’s roles (in personal & professional context)in order to getting to know her role;
  • fear of change, fear of stepping out of her comfort zone;
  • letting go of being the perfect daughter;
  • realising that for years it was a huge burden that she wanted to bring in the perfect son-in-law for her parents;
  • carefully and consciously showing her emotional self in different relationships.

The red thread through these insights is that she is letting go of emotional bagage of her parents which directed her to emotionally stand on her own feet. Of discovering her true self. It opened the path to re-evaluate her norms and values in life. With realising on a mental level in what ways she took upon the emotional bagage of her parents her emotional body awakened loads of unacknowledged emotions. These are all emotions of the inner child who was not capable of acknowledging them, because of lack in support and emotional guidance of the parents.

These unacknowledged emotions showed themselves through the physical body. Ready to be embraced and processed.

Related blogs:
Rebirthing: the body will never lie
Rebirthing: standing up for yourself

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
http://www.orchidoflife.nl/home_en/

Shame: my mother is a narcissist

Recently I guided a session with a 48-year lady. She has followed my work for three years and finally decided to go for it. During this first session there was stress, sadness, laughter and shame. Especially shame, because she felt very uncomfortable talking about herself, her roots, her decision making. This was all rooted in a nasty relationship with her narcissistic mother. All this understanding from her side for her sick mother has nearly come to an end.

Nearly, because she is sick of it all, but still not completely with her mother. A big part of her is protecting her mother from blame, sadness, anger and disappointment. She doesn’t want to hurt her mother, but meanwhile she is the one who is hurt by the cruel and harsh depictions of herself by her mother and in addition her sister is standing on her mothers side. She knows that her mother always plays her cards in a way that she will suffer from it, but it’s just not who she is to say a definite “goodbye” to this relationship. So, let’s park this.

What she is facing right now is being tired of the negative hectic atmosphere at work, a husband who is burnout since last Spring and taking care of both her daughter and her husband and the household. There is a lot to reflect upon and a lot to process.

​​​​​​​For more information about narcissism take a look at the video’s of Vivian McGrath. 

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

 

Break and feel through depression

Thank you Elizabeth Gilbert for talking about Life and Love.

For this part on breaking/feeling through depression start watching at 1.01.01 until 1.06.33.

Depression is the lowest human vibration. It’s almost death. You can slip very easily into death…

You can’t control your way out of depression. You’ve got to surrender your way out of it. My advice would be: start feeling.

Start feeling:

✨ Sadness

✨ Fear

✨ Rage, lust

✨ Pride, narcissistic feelings (ego)

✨ Courage to feel powerlessness

How Elizabeth Gilbert sums up the different layers of emotions that you need to go through to break with depression is exactly what I guide with coaching & rebirthing sessions.

I have enjoyed every bit of this interview. I love her calming, loving and vibrant voice. If you are in need of refreshing perspectives on life and love I would definitely recommend you to make time to watch the entire interview. Enjoy!

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

Depression, panic attacks and not sleeping? Breathe.

Depression. Panic attacks. Not sleeping. Some of the clients I guide struggle with these symptoms.

I’m guiding a highly sensitive lady who has been thinking she is depressed for around 10 years. Off and on she was on medication. She has a degree in clinical psychology, but at the moment working in communication. The human psyche, spirituality and healing has her interest. Especially because she wants to feel better for so long and is now discovering how sensitive she really is.

For the past 4 years she is on her path of healing and is not taking medicine. All her loved ones support her, but they are inclined to regular health care and on her lowest points they would recommend her to start medicine again. Even though she hasn’t full emotional support of her loved ones she had faith and courage to continue this path. I am impressed, because now 25 coaching & rebirthing sessions in I got to know her fears fully. They are scary, dark and heavy.

During her 25th rebirthing session she faced and connected with a severe bodily tension several times. Before connecting she was more aware of the phases she had to go through:

  1. Tension pulled back her head which straigthened her neck
  2. Yawning
  3. And finally connecting with tension which also caused physical pain

She has a very high physical pain threshold. Even though she felt pain she thought she could continue breathing in stage 3 for maybe half an hour longer. She is learning how to cut herself some slack, give in and surrender. Surrender to the pain that she has been holding onto for so long.

Emotionally she has been disconnected from this tension and pain for decades. It stems from her childhood. The only way to release the tension was to make sounds in stead of crying. Her healing process is also showing her to embrace sadness and cry longer than she was used to doing.

After her 25th rebirthing session she wrote me the following:

Client: “You don’t know half how grateful I am to you. You let me experience and feel light again on the deepest layers of my being.”

Client was/ is struggling with the following:

🌿 Fear to such an extent that the mind is always occupied and thinking

🌿 Fear to such an extent that the body is continuous living in a state of stress

🌿 Breathing on a daily basis is superficial

🌿 Not being able to sleep and not sleeping enough hours per night

While she is struggling on a daily basis the amount of willpower she has keeps her working and doing all kinds of courses in personal development. How does she do this? I am convinced it’s her willpower, faith and trust.

What the client said about trust: “These breathing sessions have given me trust that I will get better over time. I am able to sit with the dark cloud, the heaviness and I know it will pass by. Parallel to this I feel lighter, a weight has fallen off my shoulders and there is more room for positive thoughts. I am on the right path.”

Breath with me?

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

Feel the courage to act out of love

Yeah! Say that again. What I tell people during a rebirthing session:

Inhale positive energy, life energy. Inhale unconditional love, happiness and trust. Your inhalation will support, feed and connect you to your core, your soul, to feel that you may embrace all feelings. And that you deserve the life you desire.

Exhale negative energy and tension. Tension that was built up over years. Exhale anger, fear and sadness and all related emotions such as guilt, disappointment, loneliness, helplessness and even hate.

Yes, name every feeling you have, it doesn’t mean you actually hate the person or someone close to you. You disapprove of the behavior and suffer from the effect it has had or still has on your emotional body. You are in pain.

Doing the conscious connected breathing will connect you to your energetic body. The pain behind your limiting thoughts and behavior is stored in your energetic body. When the connection has been established the pain will surface in your physical body.

Then your mind will be confronted with the tension and stress in your physical body. When you feel safe enough you will be able to surrender to the sadness and other limiting emotions. When you don’t feel safe enough the body will be struggling to release the tension. That’s when I intervene with guidance. I’l help you to feel safe, to surrender.

With every tear you shed, with every scream out of anger or fear you slowly but steadily grow a healthy and loving connection with your body. Mind and body will befriend each other. The inner critic will make room for the voice which speaks out of love.

You will feel the courage to act out of love.

Breath with me?

With com-passion,

Chungmei Cheng

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your introduction session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

For more on my work, please hop on my website:
Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing

My 10 Year Challenge 2009/2019

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2009/2019 ♥️ 

In 2009 I was one year into my fulltime coaching practice. During fall that year I got pregnant and @arnoldbalde got into a burnout. We were together for 2 years and after two years of mourning about my father and grandfather we found ourselves in another huge challenge. 

We took the challenge. It has been hard, but the unconditional love we feel for each other has gotten us through these years. However it’s almost unimaginable, but we did laugh a lot. We cried and laughed a lot. 

We have received two beautiful human beings in our lives. (2010 & 2016) We are surrounded by beautiful people. We are greatful. The spiritual and emotional growth continues… 

Now, from the perspective of unconditional love we have reached the highest of high. Letting go of all pain: sadness, anger and fear that was in between us. The path continues. We strive for a loving life in which we both are given the freedom to grow into the souls we are. 

I thank you @arnoldbalde for the woman I am today. From now onwards I ask for what I need to continue growing into the person I am. 

#10yearchallenge #soul #soulmates #unconditionallove ♥️

Opening up for a love relationship

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Today I had a client in who shared: “My manager and many colleagues have noticed that I have changed drastically within a year. All good and positive. I am confident. I know what I want and I definitely know what I don’t want. Moreover, I communicate this.

Furthermore I am looking out for a new job in the same company. One with less work pressure and responsibility so I can focus on my studies. I am creating space for myself. I feel an abundance of freedom, space and happiness in myself. This also has to do with breaking up with friendships/ people who asked too much of me. Now I am focusing on the people who give me energy, who make me laugh.”

Yeah!! I am so happy for her. We have been working on balancing the male and female energy within her. All her decisions will help her to live more from her female energy. She came in with a personal love goal: opening up for a love relationship.

The sessions were focused on communicating bounderies, processing sadness, anger and fear rooted in the relationship with her parents and sister and work related issues. Now the time has finally come to focus on her initial personal goal ♥️

I am looking forward to work with her. Letting love in!

Do you long for positive developments in your life? Book your session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and via video calling

If I know what love is it is because of you

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“This is the man I would do anything for: move to a deserted place, quit my job and start a new job and most of all express my love for him and don’t make him do anything he isn’t ready for.” ~ shared by a client of mine.

She asked for my guidance because she wants to embrace love relationships. She has been single for years. Every now and then she goes on a date via Tinder, but these first encounters are more tiring then uplifting to her. She wants to have a relationship with someone who can deal with his emotions, who asks about her life, who listens, who takes, even the heavier storms in life, lightly. Someone who has been positively shaped by his experiences. While she wanted all these she also had to acknowledge her own fears and they way she was holding back during these encounters. She wanted to move forward, show herself more, her real self.

She was definitely ready for a huge positive change. 

Our first meeting was a coaching session and during our second meeting I guided her through her first rebirthing session. At first she was sceptic. “How does this work? I feel happy and I am content with my working and social life. How will rebirthing sessions open me up for love relationships?”

Rebirthing sessions or conscious connected breathing sessions will help you process hidden fear, anger and sadness in the physical and energetic body in order to clear the mind from limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are fed by these destructive emotions. You will process and go through these emotions via movements of the body, showing emotions and letting your voice be heard. With every breathing session you will notice small (and bigger and bigger) changes in your body, mind and soul. The limiting beliefs and physical aches are being replaced by loving positive beliefs about yourself and the world.

After her first rebirthing session she enthusiastically told me that lots of men noticed her and gave her attention. Something within her had shifted and this was the first change she had experienced towards opening herself up for a love relationship. Fantastic!

And there was something about her which made me think of other clients I guide. Every time I have multiple experiences of people sharing the same thoughts, feelings and experiences I feel a strong urge to share it with you, dear reader.

This time I would like to describe a type of client who come to me for guidance:

  • Believing strongly in that everything is temporary which makes throwing away things easy and getting rid of old photos
  • Believing in that everything has a reason
  • Knowing that you can only love with all your heart receiving every person who is related to the man or woman you love with open arms
  • Strongwilled and strong opinions and views on life to live by
  • Thinking limits the whole spectrum of feeling and acting upon what you feel
  • Accepting and/or dealing with loved ones who have strong negative energy

Get to know my work & book your session: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing in The Hague and beyond 

Rebirthing: connect with the pain

This morning I told this over and over again to someone who was doing the conscious connected breathing on the air matress.

Just breathe.

Just breathe.

Breath continously.

Take a deep inbreath.

And let go of the outbreath.

Just breathe.

I was reminded of this session by a tweet of @iyanlavanzant “Through our tears, we get in touch with those experiences we have forgotten, hidden or buried away in our souls”.

My experience is that many times people are not able to cry over these long hidden and buried trauma’s. They are disconnected from it. I would instead say that it is through experiencing the tension in the body that we are able to connect with this pain, this sadness. This leads to releasing the physical tension through making sounds and/or tears. And the first: making sounds will enrich the experience of crying of expressing the hurt without any fear of someone overhearing you or getting stuck in a depression.

No, none of that, crying your heart out has a cleansing effect on the soul and it clears the mind.

Read more blogs about rebirthing…
My website: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

 

HSP: create space for self-love

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Today I had a session with a highly sensitive lady who changed her appointment to a videoskype session. Since she experienced several coaching and rebirthing sessions in my practice in The Hague she felt at ease with the idea. And the session was awesome. Especially the breathing-and-expressing-the-sound-of-her-soul part. It connected her with her emotional body and during and afterwards she was able to connect with the pain. She let her tears roll down her face.

Along this intense emotional process she is developing herself as a relax and relief masseuse. At the moment she is building up her practice. As I told another highly sensitive lady coming in for her first session today. When you choose to be guided by me you choose for inner growth and putting everything you learn into practice. These are two processes which are intertwined. When you feel relieved by having expressed sadness, anger and fear you create more space for self-love and the need to do what feels good.

So back to the sweet lady who is building up her practice as a relax and relief masseuse. She got into a burnout two years ago. Since then she is out of work and before she started coaching and rebirthing with me she had reached a very low point. She felt lost. During the sessions we spoke about her family and the culture she is from. In the family she grew up were a lot of fights. Both parents lost control often and this resulted in physical abuse of the kids. She has a strong and loving soul. While many of her siblings and cousins act out their frustrations on there children and their partners she turned her frustrations into actions out of love to support her family.

The negative energy she had absorbed from her parents and family was turned inwards. She overthinks, feels insecure and is afraid to show her true self.

So this is the main focus of our sessions: to release all sadness, anger and fear and refill her with lots of self-love. And while she is going through this intense, but satisfying process life reflects her inner growth. She feels secure enough to ask for a compensation for her massages even though she is the stage of practicing and gaining experience. She is conscious of negative family-energy and is still finding a way to distance herself from it. She is working on an intimate relationship with her partner.

In conclusion: she is on her way to experiencing a 100% of self-love. And on this journey she is also on her way to build the life she desires.

Yeah! She is doing it.

For more information on my work as a life coach for highly sensitive people please visit my website: Orchid of Life ~ HSP Coaching & Rebirthing