Life Coaching: looking back on 2015

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In this blog I will answer some questions to reflect on my work and development as a life coach in 2015.

How have you lived and worked in alignment with your values and vision?

Keyword I had chosen for 2015 was simply to “be”. It sounds simple, but I believe for many people it’s life biggest personal challenge to just be who you are, including for myself. As a life coach this year has been a year full of amazing emotional growth for myself, my partner and all the people I have coached. In alignment of my vision I have started giving lectures on high sensitivity. I kicked the first one of in May in The Hague and received 22 participants.

My vision is that the world will be a gentler, nicer and more fun place to live in when more and more people come to appreciate their sensitivity in stead of surpressing or neglecting it. High sensitive people have many talents, but feel quite overruled by a dominant society with high expectations. With these lectures I have shared the challenges highly sensitive people face on the workfloor and in personal relationships. Only by sharing stories of the highly sensitive people I have coached I got feedbacked that people feel supported and understood. They even experienced the lecture as uplifting, yes, of course there are ways to feel empowered to do just that what you most desire in life.

I have been working as a life coach for 12 years and I have always worked in alignment of my values. People hire me to guide them with their emotional development and in the Netherlands it’s quite unusual to invest in hiring a life coach. First option would be a psychologist. This has much to do with the costs and how my guidance isn’t covered by insurance. However I have seen my coachingpractice growing, especially people who have had sessions with a psychologist or psychotherapist found my practice and have undergone many positive changes.

One of my core values as a coach and human being is to give my best, every second that the people are in my coachingpractice. I coach with genuine interest and empathy putting their matters of the heart on the front line. My open and genuine attitide feeds the coaching relationship in which the coachee is able to blossom and let go of limiting thoughts and emotions. I have noticed that I attract more people who turn to my guidance even before turning to a psychologist. I find this positive in many ways. One of them is that people take the lead in health care; they choose their type of guidance in stead of being controlled by society and insurance policy.

What were your most valuable learnings or take-aways? My most valuable learnings were the following:

When you process anger and sadness one is able to feel loving and compassionate again by forgiving the person who angered you, but also to forgive yourself for being too hard on yourself or for not having done the right thing. This doesn’t mean the wrecked relationship will be renewded again; it means that you won’t have to go through life with resentment towards this relationship. But it is also possible to put loving energy in the relationship to see it change for the better. It all depends on how you feel.

I’ve started to use rebirthing in my coaching practice. Through this breathing technique I’ve learned a lot about how body, mind and energy works. It’s a simple technique which leads to magnificent results. People are able to free themselves from negative emotions and physical pains. People will start to feel clear-minded, strong and flexible in the body and emotional more stable.

Another valuable learning was the power of sharing my vision and mission. It empowered me to think about the high sensitivity knowledge I’ve gained throughout the years. Many people who follow my work feel supported and empowered to accept themselves fully as high sensitive people.

Where did you show self-compassion, courage, and commitment (especially in the face of challenge)?

The most challenging work I’ve done which showed self-compassion, courage and commitment was to let myself be healed by rebirthing and to be of support and guidance for my husband who has been suffering a headache for six years. It takes a lot of patience and resilience to keep out heads up. On the other hand we don’t have a choice; it’s either doing nothing which won’t change anything or putting all of our energy in getting healthy.

How did you surprise yourself?

While I was pregnant I’ve worked all the way. I had much more energy compared to my first pregnancy. I’ve only felt off-beat the first three months, afterwards hormones regulated and I could eat whatever I wanted and felt lots of energy and motivation to work.

What impact (big or small) have you made through your work?

I’ve made people express their anger, sadness, hatred, disappointment, powerlessness and helplessness to process their trauma’s such as sexual abuse, dominanting relationships with parents, divorce, being surpressed my negative emotions of family and break-ups of love relationships. After having expressed these emotions they felt empowered again, they felt empty at first, but slowly it gave them the energy to take better care for themselves, acknowledge their talents and live the life they want.

For more information on my work, I invite you to visit my website Orchid of Life ~ Life Coaching. 

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Take time to do what makes your soul happy

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Too often we run around doing things for others or we keep ourselves occupied with work, hobbies and social activities. At the end of the day or a whole week we feel exhausted. When did we take time to feed our soul? Especially highly sensitive people need their down time; time to inhale energy and exhale relaxation. One of the things you can do to feed your soul is to write down or go through your gratitude list. Here’s mine:

  1. I am grateful for having finished the 30 Day Vegan Challenge
  2. for opening up to the Vegan world and having decided to eat 80% vegan and the rest of the time everything I like to eat
  3. for walking around in a healthy and fit body
  4. for every emotion I feel
  5. for choosing for my well-being instead of feeling guilty about choosing for myself in relationship with my mom
  6. for my interest in people
  7. for my drive to heal people from their wounds
  8. for my capacity to guide people so they feel strong from the inside
  9. for my intuitivity
  10. for my writing skills
  11. for my grey hairs and especially for smiling when a friend mentioned my grey hairs
  12. for my ability to present other world views to people who need a change of perspective
  13. for feeling strong by what I eat
  14. for connecting with people in different ways: social media, on the streets, public transport
  15. for loving life dearly
  16. for talking with Amé about death
  17. for laughing out loud
  18. for enjoying books
  19. for loving to dance
  20. for sharing food with friends
  21. for organizing family gatherings
  22. for seeing things differently
  23. for feeling calm from within
  24. for shining like I do
  25. for my deep urge to change the world for the better
  26. for my desire to share and spread the word on high sensitivity
  27. for the people around me who see what I can bring
  28. for seeing and feeling what I can bring about
  29. for having been the mom that I am towards Amé
  30. for my insights
  31. for my teaching skills when it comes to children, they are so much fun, everyone wants to be seen
  32. for sharing the truth
  33. To conclude: this gratitude list is about how grateful I am to be me

Essential nourishment: Start feeding your soul with ‘Chef’

This movie is a must watch for everyone. The joy of cooking, eating and sharing food is contagious. It’s about a chef working in a restaurant going through a life crisis. This crisis takes him to owning a foodtruck selling sandwiches Cubanos and more latino streetfood. The conversations between the chef and his fellow cook and friend are hilarious. The soundtrack definitely supports in spreading the joy of cooking food while dancing. Watching the chef enhancing his father-son relationship by taking his son on their first foodtruck roadtrip is heartwarming. And I absolutely found it inspiring to see a 10-year old executing effective social media marketing for his fathers newly acquired foodtruck business. Watch this movie and get positively effected by the love of the game, the game of life.

I live for magic, I live for love

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Seeing a familiar face. The face of a boy who is now 10 years old. It was the reflection of a friendship. A friendship which started more than 10 years ago with the boy’s mom. Another face I hadn’t seen for almost three years. The day before she felt like watching some film recordings with her son. I appeared in one of the films. She reminded her son about me and told him my name. The next day I was teaching him capoeira. He recognized me, but didn’t know me as Iniciativa (my capoeira name). During the warming-up I saw his face, stared at him and whispered his name to myself. A few moments later I cried his name outloud. All his friends were like ‘do you know her?’ After class they were waiting at the square. We spoke. We reminisced. She said: ‘I can’t believe it. Yesterday we spoke about you and today you’re here.’

Somehow and for some reason our paths crossed again. I was really happy to see her. That feeling was still there; true friendship. 

This experience reminded me of last Sunday. I wanted to watch a film recording my sister made of our daughter’s birth. The first film I watched wasn’t the one I wanted to see. In stead I watched a foto/film compilation about my grandfather who passed away in 2009. I cried all the way through the film. Remembering and feeling the connection we had as a family when he was still physically with us. A few hours later his presence was felt again. Third time. This time it felt like he was gently pushing me to go ahead, to reach out and contact someone I have been missing for a long time.

Whenever we understand and feel love from a higher consciousness it strengthens us. Although fear is felt, we are able to reach out. 

We always have the option to choose over and over again. When something doesn’t feel right, we can choose for something or someone who makes us feel good. Recently I had a strange encounter with an optic. He checked my eyes, told me they were fine, but couldn’t explain why my left eye is weaker. He simply said that it is like that and that he couldn’t do anything about it. I changed to another optic. Several opticians checked my eyes. Why? Because the first optician gave me lenses which didn’t improve my vision. How odd! They do all these tests, but somehow he miscalculated and I had to put up with bad vision for a week.

A few weeks later a friend talked to me about having seen the optician I left before. She wanted a cheaper contact lens. He didn’t listen and tried to talk her into buying other type of lenses. Moreover he said that she could only wear two weekly lenses in stead of montly lenses. Our conclusion was that he wasn’t serving us for our best interest. That feels awful; trusting our eyes to someone who is only acting out of his best interest. It was kind of special that we could share our stories. Yes, we live in the same neighbourhood and we’re both wearing contact lenses. But what were the odds that we would have an awful encounter with the same optician in the same period of time?

We are never alone in a situation. Surrounding ourselves with the right people makes life easier and more fun. Sharing reinforces our instinct. 

This blog is about love, life and sharing. How paths cross and especially why people meet or meet again. While I was telling a friend about a synchronic experience she got goosebumps all over. Exactly on the same day something beautiful crossed her path; an unexpected conversation on a terrace with a stranger. The woman glimpsed at her. At the point of leaving the terrace her curiosity was stronger than her fear of walking up towards a stranger. It resulted in a heartwarming, open and intimate conversation. She was overwhelmed by the fact that it happened. It felt like they were supposed to meet each other.

An instant of recognition can be grabbed and changed into something more. 

These synchronic experiences are magical to me. It feels like I am lifted up towards the sky where all the stars meet. It feels like someone or something is carrying me. It feels like we are all connected to one another.

I live for magic, I live for love. 

Are you ready for change?

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Conversations with friends often bring clarity to my work as a coach. Yesterday we had a friend over and he was genuinely interested in my work. Because of his questions I could share my philosophy and make him understand what type of people come and talk to me.

Many people have asked me this question: ‘What type of people hire you as a coach?’ Many times I would answer: “Well, people from different cultures and they might be an artist/photographer, graphic designer, managers from companies, self-employed and so on. They come from everywhere and do just about everything. There is no specific group of people defined as for example ‘Over thirthy and still single’ or ‘Over fourthy and still without passion’.

But there is something what defines them all. It’s a level of CONSIOUSNESS achieved by years of experience in life with or without help of someone skilled in the field of the human psyche. It’s when people reach that moment of awareness when they scream out ‘Now I want it differently! Now I want to get ahead with my life! Now I want change, real change!’ Or a bit less passionate, but with the same goal in mind ‘I am at a crossroad and I am curious after what lifecoaching could bring me’.

Of course I’m there to motivate you and guide you to the best of my abilities, but it’s your inner-driven motivation for real change what will do the trick. Share what you want out of life. Share what you normally, automatically would hide from others. Share your deepest fears and sorrows. All of this will bring the best out of YOU!

Training ‘A Fun Filled Life’

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The 4th of November I gave a training with the theme ‘A Fun Filled Life’. It was soooo much fun to present this training to an audience of 25 heads. Especially because the training consisted of several surprising and confronting parts and exercises! How come I know this? Because while I was contemplating on what I would put in the training I shared some of my ideas with my partner. Many times he was like: “So, what would you like to achieve with this exercise?” and “Are you sure about presenting this?” Yes, he was trying to understand me. Even though he questioned me I felt he trusted my abilities as a coach/trainer. Finally, he decided to leave me playing around: “We will see how they will react!”

To answer his questions: what I wanted to achieve with the exercises is what I had discussed earlier with the client. They recently had been through a reorganisation and there was one coming up. The atmosphere on the workfloor was a negative one. Employees were gossiping away, working on the projects they needed to do in stead of doing more than they were asked to do. The client wanted me to spark the fire to create an attitude which would reflect teamwork, switching from a negative point-of-view to a positive one with many possibilities.

Like my partner, I was really eager to see their reactions and if they would be willing to play along. The result was that like 95% of the participants were easily motivated to stand up and move, share their views and work on the exercises. The group consisted of a wide range of positions held in the company, such as advisors, secretaries, controllers and a director.

Three weeks later I had a feedback session with the client.  I received some great feedback. One thing which was definitely mind blowing to me was that I worked time orientated. The feedback was to let go of the time frame towards the participants and keep it 100% to myself.

Get an impression of the training: click here. 

Contact me, if you would like to hire me as a trainer: orchidoflife@gmail.com, mobile phonenumber; +31642804038
Lifecoach for Orchid of Life

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