Hi dear one, It’s my bday today

Hi dear one, It’s my bday today. I turned 41. I feel super blessed by all the love I’ve received. All bday wishes, physical and digital kisses and hugs. Thank you, you and you, family, friends and soul connections 💚

Do you always know the answer to the question “What do you want for your bday?” Well, I’m still much better at giving than receiving. And somehow I link the question to material stuff. That’s why I need more time to think and feel what I want to receive from whom, but I’ve succeeded 😉😋

Over the years I’ve learned to enjoy surprises. This year my kids spoilt each others suprises unknowingly and unwillingly and that was hilarious. Beautiful pink roses and a handmade card from Amé and @arnoldbalde and Dían finished some stuff for our new home. We will continue to furnish our home. That was one thing I wanted.

On this journey of giving and receiving I’ve noticed that I have less trouble with asking for non-material stuff.

So here it goes, if you would ask me what gift you could give me I would say: “I want you to reflect, give back, compliment and pass on the beauty, kindness and softness/ sensitivity of the people around you. Including all these aspects within you. Day in and day out.”

That’s my soul’s biggest wish and gift to the world. A gift I would like to see passed on to everyone.

With Com-Passion,
Chungmei Cheng

HSP Coach & Rebirther
My website & lifework: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

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My 10 Year Challenge 2009/2019

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2009/2019 ♥️ 

In 2009 I was one year into my fulltime coaching practice. During fall that year I got pregnant and @arnoldbalde got into a burnout. We were together for 2 years and after two years of mourning about my father and grandfather we found ourselves in another huge challenge. 

We took the challenge. It has been hard, but the unconditional love we feel for each other has gotten us through these years. However it’s almost unimaginable, but we did laugh a lot. We cried and laughed a lot. 

We have received two beautiful human beings in our lives. (2010 & 2016) We are surrounded by beautiful people. We are greatful. The spiritual and emotional growth continues… 

Now, from the perspective of unconditional love we have reached the highest of high. Letting go of all pain: sadness, anger and fear that was in between us. The path continues. We strive for a loving life in which we both are given the freedom to grow into the souls we are. 

I thank you @arnoldbalde for the woman I am today. From now onwards I ask for what I need to continue growing into the person I am. 

#10yearchallenge #soul #soulmates #unconditionallove ♥️

Rebirthing: connect with the pain

This morning I told this over and over again to someone who was doing the conscious connected breathing on the air matress.

Just breathe.

Just breathe.

Breath continously.

Take a deep inbreath.

And let go of the outbreath.

Just breathe.

I was reminded of this session by a tweet of @iyanlavanzant “Through our tears, we get in touch with those experiences we have forgotten, hidden or buried away in our souls”.

My experience is that many times people are not able to cry over these long hidden and buried trauma’s. They are disconnected from it. I would instead say that it is through experiencing the tension in the body that we are able to connect with this pain, this sadness. This leads to releasing the physical tension through making sounds and/or tears. And the first: making sounds will enrich the experience of crying of expressing the hurt without any fear of someone overhearing you or getting stuck in a depression.

No, none of that, crying your heart out has a cleansing effect on the soul and it clears the mind.

Read more blogs about rebirthing…
My website: Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing 

 

HSP: Let the pain surface so joy can replace the freed space

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Let the pain surface so joy can replace it. That’s the work I guide during sessions. Not everyone is ready, but sessions can also be experienced as a mental preparation for the emotional and physical work which is ahead. Lots of people have the need to understand with their mind before they can let go of the fear to feel what has been hiding in the body for years.

As a life coach I have studied different mental techniques to guide mental and emotional shifts. After having worked almost 11 years as a life coach I have arrived at the place where my soul’s purpose and the people who resonate with my work have come together. People of all ages. It’s not about age, it has never been about age, but about me feeling secure enough to tell everyone how I can help them. When I was 26 years old there were people who judged me. I let myself be judged and decided to study more coaching techniques. This year I will turn 37 years and I am happy to share more of the work I do.

Since 2004 my vision and mission has been the same. My vision is that more and more people will hear the calling of their hearts and souls and take action upon this. My mission is to help these people to release the pain they are carrying within so it can be replaced by the joy fueled by sharing their innate talents and qualities.

In 2011 I decided to put myself forward as a coach for highly sensitive people. It took me 11 years to realize this fully. In the year 2000 I read the book ‘The Highly Sensitive Child’ written by Elaine N. Aron. In 2008 I was conscious of the fact that the people I coach were a lot like me: caring, creative, intuitive and with soft and loving souls. The following year I wrote two articles on high sensitivity for a Dutch lifestylewebmagazine. These articles were well received, but still it didn’t clicked. It took two more years and while my unconsciousness was adding up all the high sensitivity events it finally clicked in the summer of 2011; one year after the birth of my daughter who’s now almost 5 years old.

The biggest insight of my life came to me after the birth of my daughter. I was holding a precious, pure, loving and fully feeling soul and could only feel a magnificence joy and gratitude for LIFE. People are born sensitive. We loose a great deal of this sensitivity when we are surrounded by caretakers who haven’t worked through their pain, sadness and anger. These energies definitely influence the baby: while growing in the womb and the years after birth up until 6 years old are the years in which the child creates convictions about life. Is life good for them or is life dangerous and should you always be careful? Shall I show my talent or will it be criticized?

Have you experienced your portion of hurdles in life in relationship to work, love relationships and parenting? Have you arrived at crossroads with arrows pointing in many directions? Are you ready for positive change or better said: eager for life changing reflection and action? If so, I invite you to make an appointment for an introduction session.
Take a look here for the Orchid of Life Prices and Options.  Are you a Spanish native speaker? Please take a look at this blog ‘Si me siento como una persona sensible’.

Nail polish for toddlers. Why?

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Yesterday our daughter turned 3. She is so happy to be 3. ‘I’m a big girl now,’ she says. Big girls go outside and play without their mommy and daddy, but with their friends. When we got back from doing groceries we passed by the house of a friend, this girl is one year older than she is. She wasn’t at the gallery so my daughter suggested to knock on her door. Purposefully I walked onwards to our house so she could ask her friend out by herself. The door opened, I turned my head and saw my daughter asking the mom of her friend if she could go out and play. I felt so proud. This morning she wanted to do the same, but hesitated. She turned around several times with an excuse like ‘mom, it has started to rain harder, you should come with me and knock on her door’. I didn’t feel like going so finally she stopped trying.

My daughter succeeded, the mom of her friend allowed her to go out and play. Within a few minutes both girls were standing in front of my doorstep, showing me their nails. Ooh, my god, I thought, her mom polished my daughter’s nails baby blue! I was shocked. The first thing I thought was ‘How could she? She should have asked me first!’ I calmed myself down, because my daughter looked at me with eyes full of hope and joy. She knows damn well what I think of nail polish. Her wish was fulfilled; a few months ago she asked for nail polish and she didn’t get it from us! Now she was walking around with baby blue finger nails. Several thoughts were swirling in my head. Another one of them was ‘her mom only wanted to be nice and give my daughter something’. So I decided to say nothing and let my daughter be happy. The next question was:  ‘I want to have my toe nails done as well’. I said ‘no’. Enough is enough, I thought.

My daughter is more a girly girl compared to myself. She likes necklaces, bracelets, rings, earrings and nail polish. I’m not bothered by jewelry and I’m not even wearing a watch. Oh, yeah, she likes watches too. Friends of mine do like jewelry so I believe my daughter developed her taste just by watching other people. The object ‘heels’ just popped up. My man thought of  buying her heels in her size as a birthday present. Heels??!!! She already has plastic heels which are far to big, but she is having fun with them. She didn’t got these from us. Highly irritated and surprised I disagreed with this idea. How come you thought of heels? ‘Well, I only crawled up in her head and from her view on life ‘heels’ were the first objects that came to my mind,’ he said.

We got her something she could take outside and play with. It’s a bar with a ring on one side and a wheel on the other side. One should put a foot in the ring, get the bar turning around your leg and jump across the bar with the other leg. Much better than heels. And I will buy nail polish remover as soon as possible. Come on, let’s play as long as we can and be indifferent towards how we look. Especially how we can look more beautiful with all kinds of accessories in stead of shining from within and be happy with how we look in our most natural form.

After I posted the above a friend of my reacted with a few lines of Kahlil Gibran:

About Children”You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

She also commented on my story by sharing that she believes it’s the most natural thing a child does: looking around, being curious and feeling the urge to imitate it in their own way. I read these lines of Kahlil Gibran before and I totally agreed with his thoughts. More so his lines and her comment left me wondering. It even got me talking to my partner. Am I stopping her of being who she is? A person with her own thoughts? The conversation helped me to verbalize my feelings towards the incident in more detail. As parents we are doing whatever we can to let her be who she is. Nonetheless in some situations, like this one, I have a strong urge to share my thoughts on nail polish, because I’m allergic to a world in which a lot of things are influenced by appearance. To keep up this appearance people use all kinds of stuff to show others who they want to be in stead of who they are. Anyhow, my daughter is still not aware of this concept so in her case she likes nail polish, because of the colors. But she is still a child who puts her fingers in her mouth (that young) so why let her wear nail polish even though it’s fun.

Another element of the concept of putting more emphasis on appearance is that it goes along with fake stuff. Fake eye lashes, hair extensions and so on. In the case of nail polish; it contains a lot of chemicals which no one should get in their bodies. I know non-toxic nail polish exists for toddlers, but this is really where I draw my line; I associate these products with the big fake world some people are creating for themselves. Therefore I keep my point of view on nail polish for toddlers. For this once she has enjoyed the look of her baby blue finger nails. But we won’t encourage wearing nail polish by buying it for her. But of course, when she’s older, it’s her choice if she wants to wear nail polish.