Lifecoaching: as a child I believed in magic

play capoeira

For like 28 years I thought I only had one massive problem in my life: stuttering. I tried a try-out session with Life Coach Chungmei. It was interesting, she asked questions, I spoke, I did an exercise… And from out of nowhere, I started to cry! I was crying, and surprised and shocked that I was crying. This was really weird for me.

Luckily for me I kept myself busy with creating a burn – out. One year later I succeeded. My second coaching setting was a fact. I set down and she mirrored my non-verbal communication extremely sharp. Subconsciously I acted to be ready for any thing: arms wide, an ‘I am in control look’ in my eyes, and ask something like: so coach ask me a smart question?! Well, instead she told me: Well, you don’t seem ready to open up. After which she imitated my posture and look in my eyes. Do you want to be coached? Right away I felt that she didn’t fall for my act. I felt that one: my head down, arms normal, and after digesting a little bit of my fakeness, I said: yes I am ready.

Burn-out & learning to feel
What I did to burn my self out was only living in my head, not even feeling my own heart beat. During my third ‘succesful’ study, I burned out. I didn’t understand, and even less did I feel why. Chungmei guided me through this process. Some topics, in random order, we have worked on were:

  1. Why am I a perfectionist?
  2. Why do I train extremely hard?
  3. Why am I always busy?
  4. Why do I stutter?
  5. How come I don’t feel my body?
  6. What caused the burn out ?
  7. Why do I stop breathing when I think longer than 1 minute?

Answers were: I felt I was not good enough, so everything needed to be perfect. I felt a lot of surpressed emotions and had surpressed emotions myself which caused intense stress. My coping mechanism was using my head, and satisfying others and my main man Mr. Society.

This I understood after being lead through different exercises and questions no one ever asked me. With one single question she could make me feel my sadness of being so stressed. Or scared, or….unhappy. Because that’s the overal feeling: I was not happy, and was basically killing myself with thinking, studying and working. Without the burn – out to stop me, I was dead by now.

It may sound a bit extreme, but seriously she saved my life. Thank you for that. Thank you for letting go of everything that didn’t belong to me. For the first time in my life, I feel who I am, what I want to do. I became a better husband, a better person, a better father after being coached intensively by you. With better I mean more me, because that’s all there is right? I believe the best I can be is the closest to who I really am.

Now, that I write this I think of words that could describe the thankfulness that I feel in my heart. Being coached by you and feeling myself was my biggest gift after being born. It was a great pleasure being coached by someone so naturally connected with the Universe. Someone who coached so intuitively, so in the moment.

As a child I believed in magic, felt happiness in playing. Somewhere in high school I started to believe in the world of thoughts, studies, work and society. I am 32 now, and life is magic again.

By Arnold Baldé

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Backwards blogging

Sometimes I don’t feel like writing at all. Most of the time this is due lack of energy. Sometimes due lack of inspiration. After weeks and weeks of no writing I suddenly have the urge to write about everything. Everything that happened, is happening or is going to happen. Thinking of my blog I was like ‘blogging is what you do on a daily basis’ and not about something which happened weeks ago. This thought gave me the feeling as if was stuck in a jar and I couldn’t get the lid open. Yuk!!

So to get the lid open to grasp for fresh air I invented ‘backwards blogging’ for myself. I just pick a date from my google agenda and think about the things I did on this particular day. What was so extraordinary about this day? Did I learn something? Did I laugh outloud or was I angry as hell?

Today is Wednesday the 15th of December. Thinking back about the 18th of November I remember going to a workshop organized by Giving Back.

The workshop was about how to choose the right education after highschool. Two teachers of ‘de Haagse Hogeschool’ (a Dutch university) were telling about the criteria you need to take into consideration, internet tools which could help in taking the right decision and how it would be like to study at ‘de Haagse Hogeschool’. The information was really interesting. So much has changed within the educational system since I graduated from my Bachelor Communication at the ‘Hogeschool Inholland’ in Rotterdam in 2004. Nowadays students need to know in a very early stage what they would like to study when the’re like 16,17 or 18 years old. Around the age of 14 they choose for a package of subjects which already defines the studies they could choose from when they make the change from highschool to university.

As a consequence I believe that we need to take more time to guide our children to make the right choices. Choices which reflect there qualities.

More photos of my Giving Back activities, click here!

Coachee Anne Marie: physically I feel much better now

As a preparation for the coaching sessions Chungmei asked me to think about my personal goals in the following area’s: study, health, family, hobby, work etc. My important goals were gaining more self confidence, be less influenced by atmosphere and mood changes and learning to deal with changes. As a kid I was really shy. I am not that shy anymore, but sometimes the shyness bounces back as a kind of a panic attack or a black –out (this happens when I don’t feel at ease). Other important goals were finishing my studies, finding a suitable job, having more time to myself and improving the condition of my neck and back.

During the sessions we worked towards my goals and I got insights about what was holding me back in doing so. This resulted in some difficult moments, but we also had some laughs. The combination of serious, personal conversations in an informal setting was very pleasant. The most special part of coaching to me is that I, myself, came up with new answers and solutions. Things you think of yourself more often have a bigger impact than advices from others. This is why I was more motivated to take actions towards my goals.

By now I can say that the coaching sessions resulted in positive changes in my life. I know where my negative feelings come from and therefore can deal with them or let them go. I take more time for myself, feel self confident and can better deal with changes. I have a dynamic job which suits me. Every day is different and I don’t have a problem with these changes. Physically I feel much better and I enjoy my time more.

If you are interested in lifecoaching, take a look on: Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching