Synchronicity: the real deal

A short while ago I thought of a particular person. A person I hadn’t seen or spoken for a long time. I was surprised by my own thought ‘how are they doing?’, referring to him and his wife. Only a week after this thought I came across this guy in the Hague city centre. It was good to see him again. While he was talking I looked at him and thought ‘he is single’, but how and why? First of all I had to tell him that I thought of him. Parallel to this he came across my business card while organizing his house and apparently thought of me!!

He mentioned our one and only insightful conversation at a lunchroom in the Hague and told me with a huge ‘happy as a kid can be’ smile ‘I have navigated an aerplane’!!! Ooohh, my gosh, I thought, three years ago he told me he was afraid to fly!!?? Something happened, something major happened.

Next subject, marriage. How are you and your wife doing? ‘Well, we got divorced (taking a second to think) like 8 months ago. Suddenly it cliqued. This was the reason why we thought of one another and why we bumped into each other. Interesting, I wonder what happened?

Since I started coaching people on love topics in 2008 different love stories found their way to my practice. It’s synchronicity, it’s magical.

True love is worth the wait

Recently I heard an amazing love story from a woman living closeby. Somehow my partner and I kept bumping up to her. She got to know us individually and later found out that we were a couple. Not long ago she walked up to the door of her flat and Arnold spotted her. I ran to the balcony and yelled her name. How are you and would you like to stop by at our place?

Keeping in mind that our talks only took place on the streets, in trams or in stores this was a very spontaneous action to get to know each other a little bit better. She stopped by for appelcake and tea. It was fun. She is a nice person. She told us about how she ended up with the man she is living with right now. When she was 12 she had a crush on him. No, she was in love with him. One glance of him would make her happy for the rest of the week. He was four years older than she was.

Twenty five years later they met each other on Hyves through a question game. (Dutch social network) She was curious after him; was he married? did he have children? or would he be single? After having answered many questions through this game he finally asked her in an indirect way if they could meet up. Over their first dinner together they could only stare at each other and both hardly had a bite of their dinner.

The little girl in her was still present when she told us that they are together for two years and exactly four months. She could never ever have dreamt that he would like her too. That he would fall for her, the guy who could make her dance on clouds with one glance. After having heard this story I knew this was one of the reasons why our walks have crossed so many times. This story had to be shared!

How it feels to shine…

“Chungmei is a great coach, no doubt about it! I don’t know how she did it, nor did I see it coming but… she really turns things around, without completely turning your life over. That’s a hudge quality! This way she manages to help you change something basic in your system, but keeping the structure of your life the way it is. Helping you to get closer to your own core, instead of needing to be someone new or else… (never a good idea ;-)) For the rest she’s really nice, funny, honest, smart & sexy. (AND a mum!!!)”

Michael Driebeek van der Ven wrote the above recommendation on my Linkedin profile. 

You can only read people’s recommendations for my work when you’re in my network. Well, that’s why I thought to copy & paste it in a blog so I could share it with you. Well, Michael had me smiling BIG time while I was reading his recommendation. It felt super good to shine. It was really fun coaching him.

Today I spoke to someone who got into a depression a couple of years ago because of her love relationship. She started having talks with a psychologist, went all the way to Surinam for traditional cleansing rituals and came back to Holland much stronger. One more session with her psychologist gave her the feedback that no more sessions were needed. She had energy, felt motivated and knew exactly what she wanted. Divorced from her ex and sold her house. The self-discovery continues…Recently she went on a spontaneous trip to Thailand for meditation. She’s single and ready to take action in many areas of her life. Will it be lifecoaching with me? Who knows. We exchanged phonenumbers.

There is one thing we both knew for sure; there was a reason for meeting each other.

Also read the blog: Synchronicity runs through my practice. 

Synchronicity runs through my coaching practice

This feeling of being alive, energetic and happy has its source in being ‘coaching’. Or even bettter put: in being ‘the spark that lights up fires’. I’ll explain…Yesterday we had a nice day out in the park. I did some reading, playing with Amé and playing a bit of capoeira. My man and a friend were kicking ass by doing capoeira: free & easy to get the muscles loosend up. This afternoon and evening we had conversations about my work, psychology and psychotherapy; in short ‘breaking through destructive emotions’.

While talking about my work I was reminded by something ‘magical’ which runs through my coaching practice and has defined my practice from the start in 2004.

When I started in 2004 I received an e-mail from an ex-colleague of mine. Someone I worked with during my bachelor communication in Rotterdam. At that time she was somewhere in South-America and she sent an e-mail to her family. I was put in ‘cc’ and I was the only one. Hmmm…how odd, because we hadn’t had contact for already 5 years. I answered and because of our e-mail exchange we met up in café Dudok in Rotterdam. I told her about my work. She told me about her life at that moment and said: “I need to hire you as a coach!”. Amazing, my first coachee, via a digital wink of the universe.

This ‘magical’ thing is ungoing. I could go on and on about synchronic anekdotes from my practice (2004 -up until now), but I will leave you with one happened recently…

Not long ago I had a talk with someone quit racional explaining what the term synchronicity actually means. He was like “I don’t believe in coincidences. They just happen and not for a specific reason. Only an hour later synchronicity crossed his path and I was happy to be around to witness this. While he was looking for the ‘how’, how it came to be that a specific country appeared on the screen, I asked him: “What did it do to you seeing the name of the country?” “This country is special to me. It makes me special. I was born there.” From that moment on I was sure that I would eventually coach him or be of help in some way.

Italian tasteful synchronicity

Octopus Carpaccio served with green bean salad

Risotto rice with prosecco wine, prawns and rocket salad, lightly spicy…

Last Sunday morning I saw through our windows that it would be a marvellous day. Certainly a nice winterday to spend at the beach. I phoned my cousin to see if we could drop by at his place. His place is like a hidden oasis in the middle of stranded boxes filled with articles of the shop he’s running. Moreover it’s close to the beach.

All right, it was a done deal! Even though he had a friend over they we’re open to receive us. We did some grocery shopping for lunch and had nice conversations with them; conversations with an Italian/ Spanish touch. The Italian friend was living a life aimed at travelling during the winter months and working her ass off during summer on Ibiza.

We spend all day walking along the beach and having a coffee at a Dutch pancake café/restaurant. Around Dutch dinner time we were again with the three of us and were thinking of a place to go and have dinner. What did we feel like eating? Well, an option was to have dinner at a small and cosy Thai near the beach, but after we took a peak through the windows we chose to go to the centre of the Hague.

While walking to the stop of the tram we talked about different cuisines and my boyfriend felt like a good Italian restaurant. My iphone search for good Italian restaurants was about to result in a few options, but we had to enter the tram. In the tram my boyfriend started talking to a Chinese girl. Apparently they went to primary school together in the north of Holland. Wow!! It was a small primary school so they knew each other by face and name, but never actually spoke one another. The evening ended in La Passione: it was a recommendation of the Chinese girl and she was also our company. They were reminiscing about their youth and I enjoyed their company and the FOOD. That’s what I call ‘Italian tasteful synchronicity’.

More blogs on synchronicity:

True Love Sounds like…

How are the First Weeks with the woman of your life?

Synchronicity in my life

Flow of my Life

The Story of Tara

The songs which changed my Life

Read the story behind these two songs in the blog: Synchronicity of my life!

Starting the day with Synchronicity

I love it. Living a synchronic life is so inspiring and fulfilling. With this I mean experiencies of synchronicity on all levels of life. This morning I was surprised by a tweet of a friend of mine @Humantechnology. He tipped me to watch the movie ‘Paper Heart’. While I was watching the trailer it struck me that I have seen a few actors in the film the past week in the movies ‘Zack and Miri make a porno’ and ‘Knocked up’. Zack and Miri was a refreshing movie presented from a realistic point of view, but with weird and creative twists which I enjoyed especially!!  A good Friday night movie before going out! Well, in my case, being pregnant and all to end the day with a laugh.
The actor Seth Rogen got me into watching ‘Knocked up’, but I enjoyed ‘Zack and Miri make a porno’ much more. Watch the trailers and see for yourself:

Trailer ‘Zack and Miri make a porno’ (2008)

Trailer ‘Knocked up’ (2007)

Trailer ‘Paper Heart’ (2009) (which I am going to watch very soon!!)

 

Coachee Antje: I got remarkably more self trust and strength

Homework: visualize your Ideal Love Relationship
Homework: visualize your Ideal Love Relationship

Already after a few sessions with Chungmei I felt easier in many areas of my life. I gained more confidence at work and became a proactive and valuable team member. Or at least, I started being realistically aware of my own values. Chungmei’s enthusiasm in supporting of a free and independent human being was clearly what I needed to find my own strengths in myself and bring them up even in my weaker moments.

One of the goals, which I defined for myself before starting the coaching sessions was to improve my ability to commit and build a beautiful relationship. I have been single for many years, as no one of the men I met seemed the right one to me. Like a miracle, a few days after starting working on it during one of our sessions, I met my boyfriend, and now I consider him the love of my life! Chungmei inspired me to visualize my ideal partner, which allowed me to enhance my idea of him.

The time we worked together with Chungmei was not always easy, as we went deep into the core of the pain. I got confronted with many feelings, which I was avoiding for years. It was painful, but necessary to let it go. The feeling of guilt was my company for years and it is much weaker now. I got remarkably more self trust and strength.

Antje coached by Chungmei Cheng of Orchid of Life ~ lifecoaching

Living the Life of your Dreams

One of my coachees recently told me that she had a light -bulb moment in the car on her way to our coachingsession. The thought that she could live the life of her dreams and that she can do the things she likes in life popped up in her mind. Only telling me about this light -bulb moment brought tears to her eyes. Tears of happiness. She got to the point where she values herself in such a way that she can allow herself to live the life of her dreams. Beautiful!

www.jofabi.nl -animal photography
http://www.jofabi.nl -animal photography

Here comes 10 Tips to build the life of your dreams

1. There could be a voice inside you telling you, you won’t succeed. Listen to this voice. This voice might want to protect you from failing, from falling, is disappointend, maybe angry, but the voice has a positive intention. Ask the voice what his positive intention is. Make this voice your best friend!

2. Ask yourself each day, what did I learn, how did I make a difference for someone else today?

3. Establish a set of disciplines that will give you the self-esteem and energy to act on your ideas. These disciplines can be in the area of self-care i.e. exercising, sleeping and eating habits, to communication and relationships, to how you spend your spare time, to what you think about.

4. Quite literally engage life… absorb everything, be curious, seize each day, notice and respond to everything that happens. This is where your ideas, future projects and your personal opinions and philosophy come from.

5. Be open to everything which crosses your path. Accept feedback. Learn from it.

6. Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on anything else; read, listen to tapes, journal, have meaningful conversations, never stop learning.

7. Bring something extra to everything you do, whether it is bringing a positive attitude to your job, giving a little extra on a project, or going out of your way for someone else.

8. Lastly live a synchronic lifestyle. Have a vision and vision and a higher goal which resonates through your vision and mission. A goal in which you contribute to people’s and world’s health. Determine what you want, ask for it, and trust that you will get what you need. Stand back and watch what happens … it’s always interesting!

Flow of my Life

2004 in Dusseldorf, Germany

For a period of three weeks my life was filled with synchronic moments. Moment after moment I was flabbergasted. Why should I be flabbergasted? I am living the life I want. Following my heart, living together with the love of my life, healthy and fortunate. Off course these things will happen to me. That’s what the Course of Miracles, the Secret and Synchronic living of Deepak Chopra teaches us.

And why am I still slightly shocked when my whishes and thoughts come true? One word: magic! It’s magical to me. Living such a light life in which everything I want to enhance my life and the life of others crosses my path. I feel like a child discovering something new.

There were a few wishes from my side:
– Reconnect with Chinese people ( I have a Chinese background)
– I wanted to have some publicity for Orchid of Life
– Thought about Chris, didn’t see him for a long time and wished to just meet him at some random place in stead of mailing or phoning

27th of May: someone on Twitter starts following me. I discover that we are already connected by two people and that we were at the same event in 2007.

31st of May: a long time Chinese friend of mine who I met 8 years ago came back into my life. She is working as a writer for CRTV magazine and was googling on mixed relationships and ended up at the Orchid of Life site. After having seen my picture on the site, she was drawn to the picture for the second time. And there it was, the image struck her. She met me before through a mutual friend. One wish came true. She will mention my work in the article that she is going to write for the August edition of CRTV magazine. Through this meeting I have been invited by the chairman of CRTV to feature in their radio show. Great!

4th of June: From April till the end of June I worked for the Dutch Waterway Authority as a Communication Advisor. What happenend? After two months I was recognized by someone working at the recruitment agency. The same person with whom I shaked hands the first time I entered the building. We met each other in 2007 in the train, both heading to a course concerning personal development.

8th of June: a contact of the college where I studied mails me to ask if I want to be mentioned in a magazine for the parents of their students. Yes, off course! I will be mentioned with my LifeCoachingpractice.

13th of June: and the moments continue. Remember my wish concerning seeing Chris again. He is a long time friend whom I met in 1999. I wanted to just come across him. One week after my wish I came across him at the Biological supermarket in the Hague centre. Out of a deeply felt enthusiasm and laughter I shouted at him: Chris, long time no see!

Miracles can happen when you start following your heart and do good for yourself and for others and the world in which we live in.