HSP: working towards your ultimate dream

How does it feel like when you are told by many people you have an enormous talent, but no matter how hard you try you can’t feel it yourself.

That’s harsh.

That’s aweful.

All effort feels meaningless.

That’s when a highly sensitive girl grows up with no space to show her tears, her sadness ánd her enthusiasm.

Writing this I have one particular beautiful and amazing highly sensitive woman in mind. She has a talent for speaking. When she starts telling her stories I am in absolute awe. She also gets me laughing out loud. Her stories are vivid and full of contrasts.

But there is another part to her story. She knows and feels that she can be full of enthusiasm and share this with everyone around her. But at the other side of the coin there is this extreme apathy and self-hate. She doesn’t feel like getting up nor move towards the things she wants to achieve in life.

While these opposite emotions are whirling inside of her.

She does know how to feed herself in a healthy way and continues to do so. 
She also refuses to take antidepressants because she wants to feel and process all the present emotions. 

These two daily actions show the self-love she isn’t feeling, these actions are directed by the mind. Her mind has superpowers. It’s strong. It’s how she has survived all the past years full of contradictory emotions.

During our coaching & rebirthing trajectory she is opening up and embracing the discomforting physical stress. The physical stress has been kept prisoned in her body and mind for so many years. It’s time to connect to the physical stress and release the pain through the physical body, tears and the sound of her soul. 

We are working towards her ultimate dream: being an inspirational speaker. And we’re getting closer, breath by breath.

Life is full of contrasts. When mouths are being shut, these mouths will find a way to express their true talent.

#hsp #highsensitivity #highlysensitiveperson #rebirthing #breaththerapy #lifecoaching #TheHague and beyond

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HSP: Let the pain surface so joy can replace the freed space

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Let the pain surface so joy can replace it. That’s the work I guide during sessions. Not everyone is ready, but sessions can also be experienced as a mental preparation for the emotional and physical work which is ahead. Lots of people have the need to understand with their mind before they can let go of the fear to feel what has been hiding in the body for years.

As a life coach I have studied different mental techniques to guide mental and emotional shifts. After having worked almost 11 years as a life coach I have arrived at the place where my soul’s purpose and the people who resonate with my work have come together. People of all ages. It’s not about age, it has never been about age, but about me feeling secure enough to tell everyone how I can help them. When I was 26 years old there were people who judged me. I let myself be judged and decided to study more coaching techniques. This year I will turn 37 years and I am happy to share more of the work I do.

Since 2004 my vision and mission has been the same. My vision is that more and more people will hear the calling of their hearts and souls and take action upon this. My mission is to help these people to release the pain they are carrying within so it can be replaced by the joy fueled by sharing their innate talents and qualities.

In 2011 I decided to put myself forward as a coach for highly sensitive people. It took me 11 years to realize this fully. In the year 2000 I read the book ‘The Highly Sensitive Child’ written by Elaine N. Aron. In 2008 I was conscious of the fact that the people I coach were a lot like me: caring, creative, intuitive and with soft and loving souls. The following year I wrote two articles on high sensitivity for a Dutch lifestylewebmagazine. These articles were well received, but still it didn’t clicked. It took two more years and while my unconsciousness was adding up all the high sensitivity events it finally clicked in the summer of 2011; one year after the birth of my daughter who’s now almost 5 years old.

The biggest insight of my life came to me after the birth of my daughter. I was holding a precious, pure, loving and fully feeling soul and could only feel a magnificence joy and gratitude for LIFE. People are born sensitive. We loose a great deal of this sensitivity when we are surrounded by caretakers who haven’t worked through their pain, sadness and anger. These energies definitely influence the baby: while growing in the womb and the years after birth up until 6 years old are the years in which the child creates convictions about life. Is life good for them or is life dangerous and should you always be careful? Shall I show my talent or will it be criticized?

Have you experienced your portion of hurdles in life in relationship to work, love relationships and parenting? Have you arrived at crossroads with arrows pointing in many directions? Are you ready for positive change or better said: eager for life changing reflection and action? If so, I invite you to make an appointment for an introduction session.
Take a look here for the Orchid of Life Prices and Options.  Are you a Spanish native speaker? Please take a look at this blog ‘Si me siento como una persona sensible’.

Life Coaching: knowing what you want

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“Let me briefly explain my situation and objectives: I have been working for more than five years as an engineer, the job I always wanted to do since I was a child. But although I changed companies and finally arrived at the company that had been my objective from the early days of university, I found myself always uncomfortable and unsatisfied, not sure whether this is really what I want to do the whole day.

Now my personal situation all of a sudden has offered me an opportunity to change track, or at least to reflect about how I want to go on. My partner has got a job offer from Berlin and that’s why we’ll move to Germany in January. I would like to catch this opportunity for understanding what I would really like to do in my professional life. By myself, I have thought this through so many times without coming to results. That is why I would be happy if you could assist me on this way.”

The above email was sent to me by someone who was in his thirties. During the session it because clear that he has an enormous talent, but he wasn’t aware of this up until this conversation. From the moment he walked in I was blown away by his voice. A loud, low and deep voice which filled the hallway. I was flabbergasted and grabbed myself together by introducing myself and showing him the way to the practice. In life he was confronted twice with the impact of his voice. When he was 16 his friends told him he had a magnificent voice. When he was a student he wanted to work as a voice-over, but because of his study he didn’t go through with it.

During the session he was going on and on about wanting to have a passion for something so he could earn his money with his passion or talent. I was listening to a man who had been stuck in his career for years. In his words: “I’m young enough to start something new, but what will I do?”

Sing my friend, sing. Or talk, his voice was his answer.

Your talent keeps you young

My deeply felt respect goes out to Robertinho Silva. I got to know him last Wednesday in Theater Culturalis in the Hague. We, six students of Capoeira Engenho, were present to give a capoeira demonstration and to receive a percussion class of the master himself. He was quick, alert and making jokes all the time. He made fun of me being tired. Only a few seconds after a yawn escaped from me, he took his chance to copy my yawn. Oeps! Yeaah..he made me laugh, the contradiction was so obvious. Robertinho, 70 years old , an explosion of energy and me, a woman of 33 yearning for her sleep.

Last night I attended another percussion class and was sitting next to him. I caught myself staring at his hands, arms, face and teeth. His hands and arms could be from a guy in his fourties. The expression on this face was alive and I believe he still had his own teeth! Of course I didn’t dare to ask, hihi, I was there to play the timba. Ok, focus on the music in stead of his appearance. But no, I need to point this out.

Robertinho Silva is 70 and full of energy. I want to be like him on that age. I truly believe that his talent keeps him young. So hence my outcry: stop doing things which totally exhaust you and start doing things that makes you feel alive and kicking!!

So what’s your talent?

Also read: Start doing more mindless things.

Follow LOVECOOKIES on Twitter

On Thursday the 18th of August I tweeted the following: ‘Follow @lovecookies @lovecookies @lovecookies @lovecookies @lovecookies @lovecookies @lovecookies @lovecookies plz RT ;-)) Thx’ Well, actually non of my followers retweeted this. Luckily I received one reaction from misses @KatyoNL. According to her it seemed a bit like shameless self-promotion. Later on she reframed it and said ‘it’s not really my thing, but it’s actually an open and clear way of communicating’. Even though it felt a bit strange to put myself out there like this, it felt refreshing at the same time.

Like most of the people I follow on Twitter they have something to offer, they want to do business. Of course you can do business while networking your way through it; sharing information, ideas and connect and have fun on different levels. This because business is mostly done between two parties who actually like each other on a personal level or at least have the same business values. Of course I like chitchatting, but what’s so wrong about telling people what you are good at? I believe more people should start doing this in their own ways, because you and I don’t wanna be labeled in the end as the one who is only good at chitchatting. We want to do business and put our talents out there, so tell everyone what your talent is!

My Chinese roots learned me to drink alcohol in a business setting. I did this once a while back in Quanzhou. I can’t remember how many of these small white 60% alcohol cups I drank, because everyone wanted me to toast with them. I tried to maintain myself and my way of walking from the restaurant to the entrance of the hotel. From the moment I crossed the entrance I believed my way of walking changed into one waggling Dutch/Chinese girl who can’t take this amount and percentage of alchol. At least I hope I did maintain myself to this point.

What I learned from this is that doing business and alcohol doesn’t go for me. I try to do coaching in a sober way ;)) Just kidding, I know that Chinese belief is that alcohol increases the feelings of trust and friendship between parties. The story even goes that they use alcohol to get to know the real you behind the outer appearance. If a bad attitude appears at the surface due to all this drinking they don’t want to do business with you! Many times Chinese do business without alcohol and they offer you their services and products straight away without shame. This seams to be logical because in their country it’s the survival of the fittest. Since a diverse range of cultures inhabit the Netherlands we are exposed to many ways of doing business. Which offers us quit some learning in this field.

Before writing this piece I was wandering around the page of Miranda July: an American visual artist. She is amazingly creative and thought of an exercise in which she made it easier for the person to give a compliment to themselves. This is worth watching, click here…

So let me find a balance in doing business while incorporating different ways of offering my service; screaming it from the top of Kuala Lumpurs Petronas Towers, sharing my thoughts on love, personal development and lifecoaching (blogging), tipping business relations, promoting initiatives I support and telling you to hire me as your coach 😉

Let’s say my way is ‘straightforward with a playful twist’. Let’s do business!! 🙂

We are all meant to shine, as children do

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
a return to love – Marianne Williamson
This post is just to remind you all to be fearless in live and do whatever you can do to make yourself and others happy.