Life Coaching: looking back on 2015

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In this blog I will answer some questions to reflect on my work and development as a life coach in 2015.

How have you lived and worked in alignment with your values and vision?

Keyword I had chosen for 2015 was simply to “be”. It sounds simple, but I believe for many people it’s life biggest personal challenge to just be who you are, including for myself. As a life coach this year has been a year full of amazing emotional growth for myself, my partner and all the people I have coached. In alignment of my vision I have started giving lectures on high sensitivity. I kicked the first one of in May in The Hague and received 22 participants.

My vision is that the world will be a gentler, nicer and more fun place to live in when more and more people come to appreciate their sensitivity in stead of surpressing or neglecting it. High sensitive people have many talents, but feel quite overruled by a dominant society with high expectations. With these lectures I have shared the challenges highly sensitive people face on the workfloor and in personal relationships. Only by sharing stories of the highly sensitive people I have coached I got feedbacked that people feel supported and understood. They even experienced the lecture as uplifting, yes, of course there are ways to feel empowered to do just that what you most desire in life.

I have been working as a life coach for 12 years and I have always worked in alignment of my values. People hire me to guide them with their emotional development and in the Netherlands it’s quite unusual to invest in hiring a life coach. First option would be a psychologist. This has much to do with the costs and how my guidance isn’t covered by insurance. However I have seen my coachingpractice growing, especially people who have had sessions with a psychologist or psychotherapist found my practice and have undergone many positive changes.

One of my core values as a coach and human being is to give my best, every second that the people are in my coachingpractice. I coach with genuine interest and empathy putting their matters of the heart on the front line. My open and genuine attitide feeds the coaching relationship in which the coachee is able to blossom and let go of limiting thoughts and emotions. I have noticed that I attract more people who turn to my guidance even before turning to a psychologist. I find this positive in many ways. One of them is that people take the lead in health care; they choose their type of guidance in stead of being controlled by society and insurance policy.

What were your most valuable learnings or take-aways? My most valuable learnings were the following:

When you process anger and sadness one is able to feel loving and compassionate again by forgiving the person who angered you, but also to forgive yourself for being too hard on yourself or for not having done the right thing. This doesn’t mean the wrecked relationship will be renewded again; it means that you won’t have to go through life with resentment towards this relationship. But it is also possible to put loving energy in the relationship to see it change for the better. It all depends on how you feel.

I’ve started to use rebirthing in my coaching practice. Through this breathing technique I’ve learned a lot about how body, mind and energy works. It’s a simple technique which leads to magnificent results. People are able to free themselves from negative emotions and physical pains. People will start to feel clear-minded, strong and flexible in the body and emotional more stable.

Another valuable learning was the power of sharing my vision and mission. It empowered me to think about the high sensitivity knowledge I’ve gained throughout the years. Many people who follow my work feel supported and empowered to accept themselves fully as high sensitive people.

Where did you show self-compassion, courage, and commitment (especially in the face of challenge)?

The most challenging work I’ve done which showed self-compassion, courage and commitment was to let myself be healed by rebirthing and to be of support and guidance for my husband who has been suffering a headache for six years. It takes a lot of patience and resilience to keep out heads up. On the other hand we don’t have a choice; it’s either doing nothing which won’t change anything or putting all of our energy in getting healthy.

How did you surprise yourself?

While I was pregnant I’ve worked all the way. I had much more energy compared to my first pregnancy. I’ve only felt off-beat the first three months, afterwards hormones regulated and I could eat whatever I wanted and felt lots of energy and motivation to work.

What impact (big or small) have you made through your work?

I’ve made people express their anger, sadness, hatred, disappointment, powerlessness and helplessness to process their trauma’s such as sexual abuse, dominanting relationships with parents, divorce, being surpressed my negative emotions of family and break-ups of love relationships. After having expressed these emotions they felt empowered again, they felt empty at first, but slowly it gave them the energy to take better care for themselves, acknowledge their talents and live the life they want.

For more information on my work, I invite you to visit my website Orchid of Life ~ Life Coaching. 

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If you repeat an action it becomes true or manifest

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When I met Chungmei again for my first session, we hadn’t seen for years. One wonderful day I added her on Facebook and we got in touch again. The timing was a total coincidence, but it was about the right moment. Between us, there was a distance of 1000 kilometers which we covered easily via Skype. When I started to talk to her I quickly got caught by her positive energy, and her very open attitude towards life and the experiences of people.

To me, that felt like a memory of a long gone time. The negative thoughts were never that strong in me as now, as many annoying things had happened in my life. I think everyone feels down at one time or the other. But what if you feel that much down that you slowly start to forget about the positives, and how it feels to feel positively… I feel completely out of control to successfully organize my future, be it in job, career or partnership. That is the situation in which Chungmei has offered her help to me.

I am curious to see what she would do. I know she has a different approach towards helping people. A very positive one. One of the things she mentions very quickly during the talk is the spiral of negative emotions. “If you repeat an action it becomes true or manifest”, she says. And yes, I am aware how often I came back to the same negative thoughts, not helping me to change even a bit of my situation but finally just ending up in complaining about the conditions I am in. My coach listens to me a lot and gives suggestions what to do. I am kind of empty inside, so there should be a huge amount of space to be filled up. What really annoys me is a good question as it can help me to focus on the real cause to get over.

Chungmei suggests that I should emphasize my positive qualities and skills. I even get a homework for doing this! So I am writing down what comes into my mind, all the qualities I can think of! Slowly the paper is filling… I note down my values… fairness, tolerance, harmony… and surely I will forget some of them, or I won’t realize that some values and features of me are a good quality which can be very helpful in my personal or professional life. If I see them clearly they might become even more true. However, I have the strong impression that other people don’t see or realize it. Perhaps Chungmei might give me some idea in what way I can make them clearer to other people. And how better to use them in my life for myself, focusing on it and making me overcome all the hindrances I am facing now…