Our journey in finding the best education for our highly sensitive daughter

Our daughter is so happy summer holiday started. And especially that she will turn 8 this month. We’ve already celebrated her birthday with her friends from school. It was a mixture of friends from her current and her previous school. In her young school career she already got to know 3 schools.

Her first primary school (Montessori) was way too exhausting for her. She fell into a burnout. Her second school (private democratic system) was too unstructured for her. Her current school is part of Waldorf education. Regarding to structure and space for developing her creative skills they offer a right balance for her way of being and learning.

We have been through so much finding the right school for her. It has been a very emotional journey for my husband myself and our sweet and loving daughter. The right environment in which she can flourish as a person is essential to us, because we stand by one single conviction regarding children and education: children are perfect in and of itself.

They have come in our lives to teach us what we have forgotten: play, laughter, being in the moment, physical contact and having FUN while learning. They don’t need moulding and knowledge steered education, they need guidance to do what they have come here to share with all of us.

Speaking of going through emotional journeys in search of the right education for our children. Recently we met our new Brazilian neighbours who have come to the Netherlands for an indefinite period of time. They moved her from the South of Brazil for 3 main reasons: Waldorf related education for their children, safety and a healthier work/life balance.

When I listened to their story I felt myself tearing up from the inside. Their story radiated hope for the world. People who don’t have to move because of war, hunger, intolerance and oppression, but because they want to have their children grow up in an environment in which they can be the best version of themselves.

People are more conscious about what’s good for themselves and their environment and are acting upon it. And all these actions will mirror back to us the change we want to see in the world.

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HSP: share your sensitivity

Share your sensitivity!

Be the highly sensitive person you are, share how you see the world through your senses and soul’s mission. Are you ready to take the next steps with your emotional and spiritual development?

The people I coach are the writers, singers, visual artists, speakers, entrepeneurs, top-level managers, psychologists and people working on different levels and positions in organizations with all one thing in common: their strong desire to be at peace with themselves. Your inner peace is your starting point, it’s from where you fly of to share your vision to contribute to a better world.

A big challenge for super creative highly sensitive people is to live of their talents. How to succeed in a world with so much creative competition? Why would I improve my skills in photographing? There are so many great photographers out there, I don’t think I’ve got the talent to squeeze myself into that world. And what about setting foot on ground of actors and comedians?

It’s hard work. It doesn’t pay the bills, it’s actually eating up my savings.

Let me tell you how I think about competition and what success is all about. If you think about it, there is no competition. If you keep on focussing and enjoying what you most like to do, you won’t even have time and energy to look at the competition. It’s about building your world one step at a time. It’s not about what others do. It’s about what you want to achieve in your own pace.

And about success: write down your own definition of success and live by it. To me it’s waking up in the morning and looking forward to what the day will bring. Among other things: laughter of my children, joking with my partner and father of my children and coaching and rebirthing highly sensitive people.

Let’s say goodbye to the struggling-through-life mentality and change this into let-love-flow attitude.

We are all naturally self-confident. Close your eyes, breathe, feel how your mind struggles to surrender, but slowly it will surrender in order for your body to be heard. Because you want to live life to the fullest. You want your voice to be heard. And you definitely want to wake up each day knowing that you are contributing to a better and more loving world. Mind, body and soul will be aligned in the process of emotional and spiritual development. Inner peace will surface and you will feel who you are, what you want and how you will achieve this.

It’s so much easier to lead a creative lifestyle when you have tapped into that abundant resource of inner peace and self-love.

For more on Orchid of Life HSP Coaching & Rebirthing, please click here to visit my website. 

Are you interested in an introduction session? Click here for more information…

Take time to do what makes your soul happy

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Too often we run around doing things for others or we keep ourselves occupied with work, hobbies and social activities. At the end of the day or a whole week we feel exhausted. When did we take time to feed our soul? Especially highly sensitive people need their down time; time to inhale energy and exhale relaxation. One of the things you can do to feed your soul is to write down or go through your gratitude list. Here’s mine:

  1. I am grateful for having finished the 30 Day Vegan Challenge
  2. for opening up to the Vegan world and having decided to eat 80% vegan and the rest of the time everything I like to eat
  3. for walking around in a healthy and fit body
  4. for every emotion I feel
  5. for choosing for my well-being instead of feeling guilty about choosing for myself in relationship with my mom
  6. for my interest in people
  7. for my drive to heal people from their wounds
  8. for my capacity to guide people so they feel strong from the inside
  9. for my intuitivity
  10. for my writing skills
  11. for my grey hairs and especially for smiling when a friend mentioned my grey hairs
  12. for my ability to present other world views to people who need a change of perspective
  13. for feeling strong by what I eat
  14. for connecting with people in different ways: social media, on the streets, public transport
  15. for loving life dearly
  16. for talking with Amé about death
  17. for laughing out loud
  18. for enjoying books
  19. for loving to dance
  20. for sharing food with friends
  21. for organizing family gatherings
  22. for seeing things differently
  23. for feeling calm from within
  24. for shining like I do
  25. for my deep urge to change the world for the better
  26. for my desire to share and spread the word on high sensitivity
  27. for the people around me who see what I can bring
  28. for seeing and feeling what I can bring about
  29. for having been the mom that I am towards Amé
  30. for my insights
  31. for my teaching skills when it comes to children, they are so much fun, everyone wants to be seen
  32. for sharing the truth
  33. To conclude: this gratitude list is about how grateful I am to be me

Life Coaching: how my family have treated me

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‘The reasons why I moved to Holland was primarily to get away from work, family, ex boyfriend, he could have my friends (again lost friends having to commute, dealing with women I had conflict with in work and could not work with anymore and in a way to follow my father’s footsteps in being an expat and seeing the world, living a new life, experiencing new things. Also thought I would do my MBA in Rotterdam, now that has changed – My opinion of my father and how my family have treated me – maybe that’s what we should talk about – My father and my family and me.’

Lifecoaching: as a child I believed in magic

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For like 28 years I thought I only had one massive problem in my life: stuttering. I tried a try-out session with Life Coach Chungmei. It was interesting, she asked questions, I spoke, I did an exercise… And from out of nowhere, I started to cry! I was crying, and surprised and shocked that I was crying. This was really weird for me.

Luckily for me I kept myself busy with creating a burn – out. One year later I succeeded. My second coaching setting was a fact. I set down and she mirrored my non-verbal communication extremely sharp. Subconsciously I acted to be ready for any thing: arms wide, an ‘I am in control look’ in my eyes, and ask something like: so coach ask me a smart question?! Well, instead she told me: Well, you don’t seem ready to open up. After which she imitated my posture and look in my eyes. Do you want to be coached? Right away I felt that she didn’t fall for my act. I felt that one: my head down, arms normal, and after digesting a little bit of my fakeness, I said: yes I am ready.

Burn-out & learning to feel
What I did to burn my self out was only living in my head, not even feeling my own heart beat. During my third ‘succesful’ study, I burned out. I didn’t understand, and even less did I feel why. Chungmei guided me through this process. Some topics, in random order, we have worked on were:

  1. Why am I a perfectionist?
  2. Why do I train extremely hard?
  3. Why am I always busy?
  4. Why do I stutter?
  5. How come I don’t feel my body?
  6. What caused the burn out ?
  7. Why do I stop breathing when I think longer than 1 minute?

Answers were: I felt I was not good enough, so everything needed to be perfect. I felt a lot of surpressed emotions and had surpressed emotions myself which caused intense stress. My coping mechanism was using my head, and satisfying others and my main man Mr. Society.

This I understood after being lead through different exercises and questions no one ever asked me. With one single question she could make me feel my sadness of being so stressed. Or scared, or….unhappy. Because that’s the overal feeling: I was not happy, and was basically killing myself with thinking, studying and working. Without the burn – out to stop me, I was dead by now.

It may sound a bit extreme, but seriously she saved my life. Thank you for that. Thank you for letting go of everything that didn’t belong to me. For the first time in my life, I feel who I am, what I want to do. I became a better husband, a better person, a better father after being coached intensively by you. With better I mean more me, because that’s all there is right? I believe the best I can be is the closest to who I really am.

Now, that I write this I think of words that could describe the thankfulness that I feel in my heart. Being coached by you and feeling myself was my biggest gift after being born. It was a great pleasure being coached by someone so naturally connected with the Universe. Someone who coached so intuitively, so in the moment.

As a child I believed in magic, felt happiness in playing. Somewhere in high school I started to believe in the world of thoughts, studies, work and society. I am 32 now, and life is magic again.

By Arnold Baldé

Summer’s day in Delft

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Some moments need to be captured. Here my friend and I are at Hills and Mills Pure Food in Delft. Before we sat down we checked the menu. We were curious after the iced tea and water. I tried the Green Goji Açai and my friend had the Rosemary lemonade. My drink was lightly colored red with some ice cubs. To be honest I wouldn’t order it again; I didn’t really taste the goji and it could have been sweeter. The Rosemary lemonade on the other hand was a joy to drink. We tasted all the ingredients separately; rosemary, lemon and sugar.

The photo was taken by my iphone 3gs. I love the balance between the sharpness and blurriness of the scenery, both in objects and color. I was quite surprised and at the same time impressed by the result. Reason why is that it’s getting harder and harder to take nice photo’s with my iphone camera. The object must be still and the light perfect otherwise it will turn out vague or blurry. But I’m stubborn. I want to keep on to this phone until it’s useless as a whole. Perhaps the photo came out this beautiful because I was unconsciously influenced by my friend who is an animal photographer. She is involved in different photo projects and when walking around she’s always thinking of filling the gaps; her creativity on a roll.

That’s why she asked me to step into these giant Dutch clogs. One of the themes she was working on was called ‘Summer Shoes’. Every time we meet I’m inspired by her view on the world; taking time for detail. We passed by a group of youngsters who were having a day out in Delft as a part of a Science week they attended. To keep them busy they had like 20 random assignments. One of these assignments was to take a photo with a Chinese. Hmmm…so they spotted me. They were sure about me being Chinese so they jumped into it with the question ‘May we take a photo with you?’ On this hot summer’s day they weren’t at all creative; photo was taken with all of them (6) standing while my friend intended to persuade them to position themselves in an eye catching way. An unanimous ‘no, not necessary’ was the answer.

We ended our afternoon with buying some essentials from the market; cheese, cherries and eggplant. It was a lovely day, chatting away about our work and all the randomness which crossed our path.